Punch (70.1876)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHAEIVAPJ. [February 5, 1876.

POLITICS AND PASTE.

Conservative Curate. " Tiiex you think wS are getting ox peettx well, Me. Gummidge ?"

Ditto Billstickcr. "0, yes, Sin ! Bless yeu, the Liberal Paste ain't xothixk to ounx—it's half Water!!"

throats at Wezerabad ; and the D-e of S-th-rl-xd, who generally
has lire, not water, on the brain, came in for a thorough "cold
id 'is 'ed," in a draught between Nosore and Snezapore.

" These are mere trifles," as the Jam said to Sir Jellybhoy, who
was among his suite.

We are off to Jummoo. I pause. The Elephant shakes too much

for me to continue this letter with comfort. Excuse me a minute

or two. Jee Hup!

******

Nous Void! Jummoo.

Crowds to receive us. A variety of colour, creed, caste, and com-
pany. Here are the Nabobs, the Nobobs, and the Hobnobs, all
fraternising together. A cheering sight. Here is a swarthy Nobnob
(or big swell) reining in his fiery little Kobkob (or native Indian
pony) while talking to a young but wealthy Sunnob, who is giving
himself as many airs as though he were the Shahpur, or even the
Holkar himself.

There, in the corner, stands a lynx-eyed Bobbee (or native Police-
man), and near him a fellow of lowest caste, who, I eould swear, is
the well-known Krobar of Burraglaree, who, it is believed, is still
at large.

Just by the door of the Shantee stands, his hand on his jewelled
sword, the stately Ghaut ; while arm in arm with the paunchy
little Bowlee is the aristocratic Bhistey, who is not ashamed on
this occasion to drop hereditary animosities and indulge in a friendly
guzzul with a handsome representative of the too-often despised
Florikans, and one of the insidious and mealy mouthed denizens of
the Tatarkan district, dressed in his ragged brown jacket.*

* At this point we have recourse to our Dictionary. The word Ghaut we
cannot find in it. But we would be on our oath that it is an Indian word,
and yet it does not recommend itself to our memory as meaning a human
being of any kind. "We may, however, be quite wrong on this point: we
acknowledge ourselves in having been, at least once, quite wrong ; i.e., when
we gave that boy half-a-sovereign to go and buy a new Dictionary. It is now
just seven weeks since that boy disappeared. However, to resume, Bowlee is
"a well," not a "paunchy little man"; Bhistey is a " water-carrier," who
can, we should imagine, scarcely be " aristocratic." Here, however, we admit

We are to have another grand ball to-morrow, which, it is
expected, is to be crowded by the natives, to whom I am invariably
told off to do the honours. The fact is, I have won their hearts, and,
by the way, shouldn't mind winning their diamonds ; but no doubt
even this would come in time.

I get on capitally with the natives, specially at supper. But,
indeed, on such festive occasions I have never yet found any natives
disagree with me, and, goodness knows, I have had large dealings
with dozens of 'em in my time. Here some of the natives are
bearded and some not, and, though of a retiring disposition, I soon
manage to get them out of their shell.

We have been badly off for sport lately, but at Lahore I managed
to bag three' Nuggurs (a kind of long-tailed animal, something
between a fox and a goose), one Pathan (of the panther tribe),.a fine
Behoche (not unlike our titmouse), and a brace of Rajpoots—which
last are of the genus partridge, only of a brighter colour.

I must now leave off, as Canon Duckworth wants me to give
him a few hints for his to-morrow's sermon, and I have also to
entertain a bevy of Parsee Ladies at our five o'clock tea, or Indian
Drum, which has become an institution on Saturday afternoons.

Canon Duckworth is an excellent fellow, just the sort of Parson
who ought to be canonised—as he has been. On Sundays he gives
us a good burst of fifteen minutes' eloquence, and he makes all the
points I've given him on the previous afternoon. You see I know
the vie intime of his audience better than he does, and in arranging
the hits of the sermon I can put in some nasty home-thrusts now

we may be in error. A Hindoo, acquainted only with our military terms,
would scarcely imagine that a " Sergeant" could be a great legal dignitary
only one remove from a Judge, and so it may be with a Bhistey or water-
carrier. Guzzul we have looked out before. It sounds like drinking, but it
is really " an erotic ode." A Florikan is not a man of any race, but " a bird
of the bustard tribe:' As for the " Tatarkan district" we have searched the
map of India in vain for such a place : yet it may be there. A young friend
about Town, who has iust dropped in, asks us if we couldn't find something
nearer home resembling the Tatarkan ? We cannot believe that Our Kepre-
sentative is merely inventing a name. But we have our plan—and in another
week we shall be m a position to tell the public more.—Ed.