Punch (70.1876)

March 4, 1876.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 75

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

lad stone and Lowe v. Everybody
Else; Spirited Policy v. Close
Calculation of Per - Centages ;
Ratification of! Suez Canal Bar-
gain v. Repudiation of Same.
Such was the triple issue very
decisively settled (Monday, Feb-
ruary 21) without any Division
but that of the Oppo-
sition against itself.

Doctor Lowe should
really be cautious how
he uses his blistering
ointment. It is a
dangerously lively
irritant, as may be
inferred from its in-
gredients. To equal

5arts of penny wis-
om, cynicism, and
self-complacency add
equal parts of wit,
half-truth, and Ox-
ford logic. Rub in
hot, the wrong way
of the hair; and stand
clear of the patient's
teeth and claws, or
horns and hoofs, as
the case may be. It
has been known to
set even Deputations
kicking. No wonder
that the British Lion
and British Bull are
not very patient
under it. Nor are
these high - spirited
animals just nowmore
in the mood for put-
ting their heads into
Mr. Gladstone's
Economical Muzzle.

Not satisfied with
Monday's discomfi-
ture, the conscien-
tious and energetic
W. E. G. has since
hung up his twenty-
seven headed syllabus
in the columns of the
Times. There is much
force, and we doubt
not solid foundation,
in his cross-question-
ing of the ministerial
bargain from _ the
pure Economist's
point of view. But
that is not the stand-
point from which John Bull just now looks at it. He applauds a prompt act of " spirited policy,"—
annoying as such a strange piece of perversity may be to Mr. Gladstone—and persists in his '' inflam-
matory approval" of Mr. Disraeli's unprecedented coup de bourse. Nothing can show this so clearly
as_ the hornet's nest Mr. Gladstone and Mr. Lowe have brought about their ears, even from the
friendly columns of their own Press, by their objections to the purchase. The course and conclusion
of Monday night's debate gave Parliamentary proof of the same incontestable, however inexplicable,
fact. Mr. Gladstone must appeal from John Bull "inflammatory " to John Bull " condemnatory."
That appeal cannot be yet set down for hearing ; but it may come on.

Tuesday {Lords).—Patents Bill: same as last year's, but with only one class of Patents (forfourteen
years) instead of two (one meant for " one-horse" Patents, to last half as long), and without the power
to appoint professional referees, besides the Commissioners and Examiners of Patents, to sift the
grounds of Patent claims—both changes for the worse, but said to be pressed on the Government ab
extra. No_ sufficient reason, we are glad to learn on satisfactory authority, for the complaints of
the Martini-Henry rifle as the soldier's shooting-iron.

(Commons) First night with the Fugitive Slave Circulars.

Mr. Whitbread—as by right hereditary—moved Resolutions involving immediate withdrawal of
Number Two, without reference to the Commission's report.

Mr. Hanbury moved a Resolution contra, to wait for the oracle from under the extinguisher.

Hence two nights of very long speeches; the lawyers having a good deal of the field to themselves,
and expatiating freely, but as unable as their lay-fellows to reconcile the irreconcilable.

There is no denying the fact that Lord Clarendo]? in 1870 wrote a letter that goes the whole length
of Circular Number Two. Policy and public feeling, conscience and comity, the hearts of the British
Public and British Officers, and the heads of departments, are all alike at odds in this unlucky matter.

" Que diable allaient-ils /aire
dans cette galere f " Why didn't
Government leave the difficulty
as it has been left till now—in the
discretion of the British Captain'(
There seem to have been only six
hitches concerning fugitive slaves
in some thirty-six years; and
better any number of such hitches
than an official act of the Govern-
ment tying the hands of British
Naval Captains — discreet and
indiscreet alike —from helping
the slave out of his shackles.

Several speakers in the course
of the two nights' talk recalled,
with a sigh of regret, Lord Mel-
bourne's famous query — in a
similar perplexity between con-
flicting courses with much to be
said for each—"Why not let it
alone ?" It was a British
Admiral (Sir J. Hay), who sug-
gested the course Punch would
have recommended, to await the
Commission's Report, and mean-
while withdraw the Circular.
Even staunch Conservatives
prayed" Mr. Disraeli to follow
Sir John Hay's sensible advice.
Of course, it isn't a party ques-
tion ; of course, Her Majesty's
Government hates Slavery _ as
much as Her Majesty's Opposition.
But, unluckily, if a Member »f
H. M. 0. moves Resolutions, and
a Member of H. M. G. moves
counter - Resolutions, the fight
will become a party one in spite
of everybody's teeth, and so it
was here. Two nights' talk
(Tuesday's and Thursday's) ended
in a party division. Circular
Number Two stands, and Mr.
Whitbread's Resolutions are
defeated by 45 (293 to 248), a few
of the usual supporters of the
Government holding aloof. A
solitary "Act" of stout Major
O'Gorman's enlivened the long
and wearisome two nights' dis-
cussion of humanity, internation-
ality, and exterritoriality. _ The
portly Major wound up with an
impassioned allusion to his portly
Dartmoor protege, Arthur Or-
ton. What that obese impostor
has to do with the Slave Circular
is not clear, though, taking cor-
pulence and captivity together,
one does see an association of
ideas between him and a circular
slave. One thing must be said
to the House's credit. There
was less "cant" and "rant"
than might have been expected
on such a subject.

But whatever Commission may
report, and Commons vote, Punch
agrees with Sir Henry James
that Circular Number Two is as
dead as Circular Number One.
The country, simply, will not
stand it. It has " got to disap-
pear," as our American cousins
say—whether under the Commis-
sion extinguisher, or what other
device of Disraelitish ingenuity,
matters not. ' 'Actum est! "—i.e.,
in English—it won't act. No,
Siree! it won't wash—except out.

Wednesday.—An Irish after-
noon. First instalment of the
Home-Rule Bill-Budget—a plan
of Captain Nolan's to shift the
control of County Finance from

vol. lxx.

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