Punch (70.1876)

May 6, 1876.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHAEIVAEI.

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

hut-up—Lion! What
is the use of growling'
any longer ? Time is
gone by ; majorities
are mighty; Disraeli
is determined; the
advice will he given ;
the Proclamation will
be issued; the title
will be assumed ; and
Victoria, Queen of
England, will be
henceforth Victoria,
Empress of India.
Such is the position in
which the House finds
the Benjamin's mess
of the Imperial Titles
on reassembling after
Easter [Mo'aday,
April 2-1). La Heine
le veut. Ainsi soit-ii.
England—except that
portion of England
which would rather
be rid of a Queen al-
together — docs not
want it. India—in
so far as she has a

voice to speak—declares she doesn't want it. Who does want it ? That is the question not
to be asked—or, at least, if asked, not to be answered—as Me. Anderson found out, when
he wanted to know who told Mr. Lowe that two Prime Ministers before Me. Disraeli had
been pressed to do this thing, and had respectfully declined. Was it a Privy Councillor let
this Court-Cat out of the bag ? " That's tellings,'" as the children say. Me. Lowe isn't a
Minister now, and the privilege of being questioned in the favourite Parliamentary game of
" cross questions and crooked answers " is confined to Ministers. Me. Fawcett had asked for a
day "to move the House's disapproval of the advice given to Hee Majesty by Her Majesty's
Ministers." But as Me. Fawcett couldn't get his day before Easter, thanks to Me. Knatch-
btjll Hegessen and Major Beaumont, who stopped the way with their perfectly ineffectual
brace of motions, and as the Leader of Her Majesty's Government declines to measure swords
except with the Leader of Her Majesty's Opposition, and as Loed Hartington, though ready
to support Me. Fawcett on amotion for a vote of censure, declines, under the circumstances, to
move such a vote himself, and so run his head against the stone wall of the Ministerial
majority, cadit qucestio. There is a good riddance of bad rubbish. The Opposition must
remain content with what it has done in the way of protestation against a blunder which it
considers nothing less than deplorable, in common with the overwhelming majority of
intelligent and loyal subjects out of doors.

So let England shut her eyes— noropen her mouth—and see what the Queen will give her.

Who'knows ? .She may have'hadlher Royal
eyes opened to the real state of the case at
the eleventh hour, and may shrink from
the change of title after all! kt all events,
Punch won't believe in '' Victoeia Im-
peratrix " till he has it under her own
Royal hand. (Poor Punch ! So he wrote
some days ago. He has it now. It spoiled
his breakfast last Saturday.)

Oh dear, oh dear, those debates in Com-
mittee on the Merchant Shipping Bill!
with the puzzle-headed but eminently well-
meaning President of the Boaed oe
Teade on the one side, and the almost as
puzzle-headed, and still better meaning,
Member for Derby on the other. Between
the two, what should be debates sink into
wrangles, and neither ever seems quite to
know what the other is at. Wrangle No. 1
concerned Grain Cargoes. Me. Plimsoll
wants to prescribe the means of safety : to
regulate by Act of Parliament the shape,
size, and thickness of shifting-boards for
such cargoes. Those who have framed the
Bill have been satisfied to require means
for obviating shift of cargoes, without pre-
scribing those means. Punch would say,
by the light of common sense, that those in
charge of the Bill have the best of it.

Wrangle No. 2 was over Deck-loads.
Everybody who knows anything of the sub-
ject admits winter deck-loads to be one of
the most fruitful sources of danger to life
at sea.

Me. Plimsoll wants absolute prohibi-
tions of such loads, with due exceptions
to be fixed by the Board of Trade. All
the Board of Trade will concede is, that
deck-loads shall pay tonnage-dues. But
the, knowing ones seem agreed that if Me.
Plimsoll asks too much, the Government
give too little.

Hours were spent in beating about the
bush, till Sie Staffoed Noethcote stepped
in to help his lame brother Adderley over
the stile, and got Mr. Plimsoll defeated
by 108 to 75. _

Is it quite impossible to import a little
more clearness of head and distinctness .of
purpose into the Government conduct of
the Bill ? Sir Charles ought surely to have
a foot to put down, considering what a foot
he has to put in. Why don't well-meaning
men learn to convey their meaning ?

Tuesday.—We have already expressed
the quintessence of what pissed to-night
about the Royal Titles Bill between the
Heads of Her Majesty's Government, and
Her Majesty's Opposition. Besides, now
the Proclamation has been issued, Avhy waste
more words on what is past praying against ?

Wednesday. — Penthesilea in arms,
under the male mask of the Member for
Marylebone. All the old arguments, for
and against Female Franchise trotted out
in better form than ever. A curious divi-
sion of the Beights. Jacob for the Ladies ;
Brother-in-Law Leatham, and Brother
John against.

The honest avowal of plain John that
he was wrong when he voted with Stuart
Mill for giving votes to the Spinsters and
Widows, had a great deal to do in deter-
mining the division (2-39 to 152) against the
Member for Marylebone.

Mr. Smollett, victim of his name; flung
a good deal of the mud which he mistakes
for wit into the Ladies' faces {prohpudor !),
and Mr. Fawcett gave him a well-deserved
rap over the knuckles for it. Descended from
the Author of Roderick Random, let not our
Mr. S. descend below him. He is old enough
to have learnt that his ancestor's high-spiced
style of humour is too coarse for modern
tastes.

vol. lxx,