Punch (70.1876)

February 26, 1876.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 65

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

MO locutus est! And when, either Leo or Bos Britannicus has
spoken, there is an end of discourse and discussion. {Monday,
Feb. 14.) Leo has spoken on the Suez Canal purchase, and, how-
ever obliged he may be to the Chancellor of the Exchequer
for his explanations, and to the Head and Members of Her
Majesty's Opposition for their critical analysis thereof, he is
satisfied with his share—the Lion's share—in the venture, and
that is (as set forth in this week's Cartoon) no less than his
Indian Street-door Key. Whether the purchase be a good invest-
ment or bad of our four millions? by interest-measure, that is not
the measure to. be applied to this transaction. There is a high-
policy-measure, as well as an interest-measure,
in which the scale is marked—not by nominal
L{ibrce), S{olidi), D(enarii)—but by national
C{redit), S{afety), and H{onour). By that
measure Ministers demand, and rightly de-
mand, to have this purchase gauged. And
with British Lion and British Bull at their
backs, they may confidently face the criticism
of the Opposition, in the adjourned debate
this day week, for which Lord Hartington
and Mr. Gladstone reasonably pressed, and
which Mr. Disraeli wisely conceded.

Tuesday.—Sir William Fraser attacked
the " Parochial System" of Local Metro-
politan Government, and thereby laid him-
self open to sundry "counters"—but more
for slips in words than facts—from Locke,
Lusk, and Hogg. London is now mis-
governed, not by its beadles, but by its
iEdiles; not by "porochial" Bumbles, but
by District Boards and Vestries, which com-
bine in a smaller cluster of big bodies most
of the faults of the huge congeries of lesser
bodies they have absorbed. Lcfsk uttered the
pious wish that those who found fault with
the existing vestrymen, bad to look after the
street-sweeping, the dust-carts, and the nui-
sances themselves. Fancy Sir W. Fraser
transformed from Apollo to Hercules—turned
from translating Tasso to cleansing the
Augean Stable of London! Sir j. Hogg said
a good word—not undeserved—for the Metro-
politan Board, which has now finally passed
from the stage of Words to that of Works.
But more is needed for London than the great mind of even the Metropolitan Board can compass. We want to see iEdileship brougbt
down from such heroic tasks as Embankments and Viaducts to the humbler duties of the scavenger's cart and the domestic dust-bin.
No doubt the Wen is a big one to deal with, but it wants doctoring sadly. If Cross would take up his London, London would take
up its Cross, and set him on a higher pinnacle than he ever will reach by even the regulation of Licensed Victuallers' houses and
the improvement of Artisans' Dwellings.

Mr. Hubbard is going to set the law as to Crossed Cheques on its right end again, from which it has been rudely toppled by the rude hands
of the Judges in Mills and Smith. Don't check the use of crossed cheques whatever you do! There is nothing prettier to look at than the
magic "and Co" across a stamped "Please pay." And then they show the payee has the highly respectable appendage of a banking account.

Stern Economists, Municipal and Imperial, don't like paying superannuation allowances. Let a man save out of his salary,
and if he don't, or can't, turn him out to starve, when past work. The House declined to endorse this economical doctrine by the
narrow majority of 101 to 94 for Second Leading of Mr. Lathbone's Bill empowering Corporations to grant superannuation allowances—
with due precautions against local jobs. Old public servants in municipal employments should be much obliged to Mr. Hankey—
who pointed out that pensions are only a form of deferred salary, on which principle they are .paid by the Bank of England—and to
Mr. Cross, who supported,the Bill. Mr. Bass opposes it. Bitter beer is tonic, and braces up men's nerves to do hard things.

Wednesday.—Walter Savage Landor used to boast his own short and simple plan for increasing the efficiency of the Episcopate.
"Give every Bishop £600_ a year, and make it death to leave his diocese." Mr. Beresford Hope, in his scheme of episcopal im-
provement, takes another line. Private persons are to be at liberty to endow, and the Ecclesiastical Commissioners to cut and carve,
new Bishoprics out of existing dioceses—subject to the approbation of Queen in Council and Parliament assembled.

Everybody—who wants Bishops at all—wants more of them. The Bench, as it is, is over-diocesed and over-worked. The flocks—
black sheep and other—are certainly not easier to rule now than in old times, and the shepherds and crooks at work now are no more than
when Henri- the Eighth was Ling, and population counted by hundreds, where it is now reckoned by thousands.

But nobody—neither Sir W. Barttelot, nor Mr. Monk, nor Mr. Mowbray, nor Mr. Dillwyn, nor Mr. Henley, nor Mr.
Walpole, nor Mr. Cross,—much as we may want more Bishops, approves Mr. Hope's machinery for making them. And so Hope—
spes longa—was obliged to accept an adjournment of his Bill to the Greek Kalends—alias July 26.

Thursday {Lords).—Lord Carnarvon, after apologies for a very bad cold, gave an elaborate explanation of the motives which
had led the Government to entertain favourably propositions for an exchange of our possessions on the Gambia against French pos-
sessions on the Gold Coast. No wonder an explanation made with such a cold was rather coldly received. Lord Carnarnon makes a
very good case, but their Lordships want further information. And so should the country. There ought to be very strong reasons
indeed for giving up the command _ of a river navigable for 400 miles by 100-ton craft, and so leaving us ten degrees of African
coast without any station but a tiny island off one of the mouths of the Niger.

{Commotis.)—The Nasmyth Hammer at work. A brisk fire of questions on all sorts of subjects, from Snow in the streets to Slave-
Trade Legislation. Lnter alia, Knife-cleaning Boys (such is the decision of the Inland Revenue Authoritise) serving many masters are
not to be taxable as men-servants ; but knife-cleaning boys with one master, are. Let all who keep a boy to clean their knives see forth-
with that he finds somebody else's knives to clean, or send him about his business. Also, we are glad to learn from Mr. Hardy that
the indecent practice lately prevailing in the Royal Artillery Barracks at Aldershot (not there only, we fear,) of lodging four families in
one room without screens, or even curtains, to separate them, is at once to be put an end to. But why four families in one room at all ?
If a certain proportion of married men is allowed in the Army, surely there ought to be proper provision for that proportion in all
barracks—with its own room, at the least and lowest, for each family.

vol. lxx.

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