Punch (70.1876)

May 13, 1876.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 185

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

he chilliest of May Days! Not much
Essence to be got by going a-maying in
Westminster in such weather. One
thing is settled (Monday, May 1, Lords),
about Irish Peers—the country is not to
have any more of them. So far the
House of Lords agree with Lord
Inchiquin. The rest of the Bill—as
far as Eunch.caax understand—has gone to the dogs. No. Irish boroughs may
yet have the'chance given them of being represented by Irish Peers. Who dares
say England never does anything for Ireland ?

(Com?nons.)—Merchant Shipping again. Government Clause carried to
prohibit deck-loads of heavy timber, or of light timber above three feet high,
between October and March. Me. Pltmsoll was within eight of getting timber
deck-loads prohibited altogether. Bravo, Plimsoll ! This shows the good
of "pegging away," even in the teeth of a stonewall; nay, against what is
worse than any number of stonewalls, such a feather-bed fender as Adderley's
puzzle-pate stuffed with good intentions.

Tuesday (Lords).—First cry over spilt milk—of which we are promised more
to come. Lord Selborne stated, elaborately and emphatically, his grounds
for contending that Ministers, after promising to " localise" the Queen's
Imperial Title, by their Proclamation, have kept the word of '1 honour to the ear,
and broken it to the sense," by localising the title of Queen in England, and
giving: the title of Empress everywhere else in the British dominions.

" No," says the Lord Chancellor. " The Proclamation applies only to
cases where the Queen's full title has to be used. It provides that the new
title shall not be used in those cases, where they relate to England only. That
is what / undertook we would do, and that is what we have done."

Lord Hatherley (ex-Lord Chancellor) compactly puts the question, as
between Lord Selborne and Lord Cairns—which wiil next week be the ques-
tion between Mr. Disraeli and Sir H. James, between Her Majesty's Govern-
ment and Her Majesty's Opposition, between the Majority and the Minority:—
" Did the promise to localise the title mean spreading it over every part of the
Empire except England ? "

Now our readers know exactly the point at issue. It could not have been
better put than by Lord Selborne, or more clearly, and weakly, met than by
Lord Cairns. Between them we know the best that can be said for, and the
worst that can be said against, Government. And bad is the best.

(Meanwhile, it is a comfort to know that if Municipalities Kotow, it will be
because they like it. Sir Bernard Burke, Ulster King-at-Arms, told the
Corporation of Dublin that in their Address to the Queen on the return of the
Prince of Wales, they must approach her by the new style. " Nothing of the
kind!" says the Holker, in his off-hand way. " Bother Sir Bernard!"
So Burke is Burked ! The Ulster King-at-Arms may put the Holker's flat
contradiction in his pipe—if Kings-at-Arms have such low things—and smoke
it—if Kings-at-Arms do such low things.)

Commissions the new title must be used, as they operated
all over the world—in India as elsewhere.

. " Investigation of Titles " has always been the raw of
our Land-Transfer law. It promises soon to be as awk-
ward and as sore a point in the Legislation, as in the
Law, of the land. What a crop of questions must be
growing out of the Proclamation for the Law Officers,
from the Lord Chancellor down !

The Government grants Sir H. Havelock a Select
Committee to inquire how berths in the Civil Service can
be found for meritorious members of the Military and
Naval dittos, after discharge. But Mr. Hardy declines
to turn the War-Office into a Registration-Office.
'Peter Taylor, that Don Quixote of doubtful cases
and desperate causes, laid bare for the second time the
backs of the two small boys whom Mr. Wilbereorce,
taking the law and the stick into his own hands,
thrasbed, vice parentis, and has thereby earned, and
got, a lecture from the Lord Chancellor on the danger
of Magistrates allowing their Eton experience of flogging
and its blessed effects to carry them too far. Mr. Taylor,
after a statement of the case, in that peculiarly strong
language which anything that he views as oppression
always provokes him to,—so much must be said to the
credit of his heart, if not his head—asked to have Mr.
Wilbereorce dismissed from the Bench.

The House agreed with Sir W. Barttelot that the
Magistrate's error of judgment had been sufficiently
punished, and that "wigging" migbt fairly be set
against "whipping"—particularly as Mr. W. had had
to pay £15 damages, at which rate the indignant parent
would probably be delighted to have his rabbit-hunting
offspring flogged every week in the year.

Mr. C. Lewis called the Right Hon. R. Lowe over
the coals for his after-dinner story at Eetford, that two
Ministers, to whom the Queen had made the proposal,
had declined to bring in a Bill empowering her to add
to'her title.

Mr. Lowe having first answered Mr. Lewis's letter,
giving notice of his intention to ask the question, as he
used to answer deputations, by a snub including a sneer,
tried to repeat the process in his speech, and so laid
himself open to such a double-thonging from Mr. Dis-
raeli, as the House has not had the pleasure of seeing
administered for many a long day, followed by a denial
of Mr. Lowe's statement on the part of Her Majesty—
a real Queen's Message. The House received the mes-
sage with respect, the castigation with relish. On no
back could the lash have been laid so entirely to the
House's satisfaction. Ben thrashing Bob, Bob having
ricbly deserved it, is only less delightful than it will be
to see Bob return the compliment to Ben when he gets
the chance.

Arcades ambo,
Suarificare pare?, et pay-back-are parati.

Wednesday.—Bill to assimilate Irish Registration to
English. Ireland being so like England in all other
respects, why should it not be like her also in this ?
Strange the House can't see the absurdity, but persists
in throwing out the Bill by 205 to 118.

Thursday (Commons). — Mr. _ Lowe, having_ taken
council of his pillow, and his friends—he has friends—
apologised humbly and fully for his Retford lese-majests.
It would have been inexcusable in him to repeat the
story if false; still more inexcusable, if true. The
Queen's name should not be dragged into debate, for
the Queen is the only person in England who cannot
open her mouth in her own defence.

After Mr. Lowe had administered the discipline to
himself with a heavy band, Mr. Lewis got up to improve
the occasion, but the House was not of a humour for Mr.
LEwrs's " improvement," and shut him up sharply. Mr.
Lewis had better be warned by the fate of Mr. Lowe.

Sir Henry James gave notice of his intention to
move a Resolution that the Proclamation under the
Royal Titles Bill does not make adequate provision for
localising the title of Empress.

Mr. Disraeli, accepting the motion as at once a vote
of no confidence and censure, put that day week at Sir
Henry's service. So on Thursday the 11th, the Crown
will again be thrown up for a kick off, a " rooge," and
a "bully," though there can be no doubt, considering
the strength of the sides, which wiil carry the goal.
But teas the Crown meant for a foot-ball ?

(Commons.)— Mr. Disraeli explained to Sir H. James that of course in | Merchant Shipping. Delightful as usual. Scurvy

vol. lxx.

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