Punch (70.1876)

March 11, 1876.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

85

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

ebttke, more pungent than Peers' pepper
usually is {Monday, Feb. 28), was adminis-
tered by Lord Carnarvon (Lords) to Lord
Stanley of Alderlet, for his premature
condemnation of Authorities and Army in
our late Straits' shindy. Lord Stanley
should have waited till the Papers were
before Parliament.

{Commons.)—Mr. Biggar looked smaller
on the collapse of his coup at the Roths-
childs. The only one of that name now
in the House, Sir Nathaniel, is not a
member of the Mighty Firm, and so has no
disqualifying interest in the Suez Canal
bargain. It is a pity that Mr. Biggar did
not ask the one question before the other.

Mr. Goschen stirred the Vanguard mess,
with its accompanying messes, the Admi-
ralty Minute on the finding of the one Court-martial that teas held, and the Admiralty
mistake in refusing the two Courts-martial that ought to have been held.

Mr. Ward Hunt defended himself after his wont, blunderingly, but in perfect good faith.
He did not seem even to see the point of Mr. Goschen's attack—that in over-riding the Court-
martial's censure of one of his own colleagues by an Admiralty Minute, he was exposing a good
and gallant officer to the most unfavourable imputations. Also that a Court-martial on Admiral
Tarleton and Cattaln Hickley, so far from a hardship, would have been the greatest boon
to both. _ The Service, differing on every other point in the case, agrees in dissatisfaction
at the withholding of full public inquiry into the conduct of the two officers exonerated by
the Admiralty Minute, and this without reference to their deserts in the case.

_ That is about the upshot of the long night's talk. Even Mr. Ward Hunt must, one would
think, have got the true gravamen of his own blunder beaten into him by this time. It is
true, his power of resisting the ram of reason is amazing. Talk of iron-clads !

A snug job (creation of a Chief Civil Service Commissionership at £2000 a-year, for Lord
Hampton, cut. seventy) rudely questioned, and all but upset. Too bad. Aren't there two
Commissioners to do the work, and hasn't Lord H. earned a retreat for his old age ?

Tuesday (Lords). — Second Reading of Lord Cairns' Bill, bringing the law as to
Crossed Cheques into accordance with mercantile practice, out of which a recent judgment
has rudely shaken it. A cheque crossed "& Co.," may be paid through^ any banker. But
any one who takes a cheque specially crossed with a banker's name—except that banker—
does it at his'peril.

Lord Sandhurst led an attack on Knightsbridge Barracks. But they have got to be re-
erected. The site is pronounced, on high authority, the best for strategic purposes—if the
Guards should ever have to do bloodier duty than guard the line of route for a procession—quod
Di avertant. Besides, the Duke assures us that the healthiest cavalry barracks are those
where men's rooms are over horses' stables. Troopers so lodged are not so liable to chills as when
they pass, .heated, from detached stables to gusty barrack-rooms. The ammoniacal odours, we
presume, they get used to. Nay, perhaps we shaR be told these are medicinal. Did not an
elderly carcase-butcher tell the Smithfield Committee that if ever he felt a little '' queer in his
inside" he used to go and inhale'the odours from the grating of one of the Smithtield sewers,
and it always brought him round better than any physic ? Odor equi—like odor lucri—bonus est.

(Commons.)—The brisk Baronet of Chelsea gave the House a delightful night's ratting sport
over the " unreformed Corporations." There were some hundred little burrows left untouched
when_ the municipal rats were smoked out of the bigger boroughs. It was intended, no doubt,
to bring the sulphur and the ferrets to these lesser holes, after the big ones were cleansed ancl
set in order; but this latter work took more time and energy than was calculated,.and so the

venerable'..rottenness of these cosy re-
treats of antiquated corruption was
spared to exercise the Chelsea Baronet's
keen taste for ferreting. Last year he
turned his ferret into the burrows of
New Romney, Oueensborough, and
Woodstock. This year the sport is
spread through Sussex, the Isle of
Wight, Dorsetshire, Devonshire, and
Cornwall. Shall Punch wrong Dilke
by picking the plums out of his pud-
ding ? No. Let our readers go to his
speech if they would enjoy the amazing
"bag" of musty abuses and venerable
viRanies his sharp eye and keen scent
have brought to light. Never was there
such an unearthing of vermin since the
Pied Piper of Hamelin charmed the rats
into the Weser, and did not earn the
blessing of the Corporation.

Mr. Cross undertakes the future
ferreting in these well-stocked pre-
serves ; and Sir Charles leaves the
sport in his hands. The vermin shoidd
have been unearthed, and their rotten
old burrows cleared out, forty years ago
—but better late than never.

Wednesday.—Another Irish after-
noon. By doubling the usual number
of Parliamentary sponsors to a Bill, the
Irish Managers have doubled their
chances on the ballot for days. So we
are in for a good allowance of Irish Bills.
En revanche the English Members seem
disposed to leave Irishmen all the talk
on Irish business.

The Great O'Gorman moved to as-
similate Irish to English municipal
franchise. It would be more to the
purpose, if we could, to assimilate the
English municipal franchise to the Irish
—of £10 rating. As it is, having made
the mistake of severing municipal taxa-
tion from representation, in our own
Corporations Reform Bill, we should be
cruel to do Ireland the same bad turn.

The Bill was thrown out by 17G to
148, a narrow majority under the cir-
cumstances.

Thursday (Lords).—Second Reading
of the Ecclesiastical Offices and Fees
Bill. Offices are to be amalgamated,
staffs reduced, fees diminished, vested
interests preserved or compensated,
£10,000 a year saved out of more than
four times that amount, and, with all
this, a salary to be screwed out of the
surplus for the new Judge under the
Public Worship Regulation Act. All
facts about fees are the better for sharp
sifting—and those about Ecclesiastical
Fees are particularly likely to repay
investigation. So Punch can't pretend
to be sorry that the Bill was referred to
a Select Committee.

(Commons.)—Army Conversation and
Army Estimates.

Hardy—toujours hardi—tackles his
hard task like a man. He gallantly
speaks up for the Knightsbridge Bar-
racks site—echoing the Duke. The
road is to be widened when the barracks
are rebuilt. He increases the pay of
noncommissioned officers and rank and
file. He has settled a scheme of deferred
pay, both for the line and the reserve,
calculated to check desertion, and to
bring the reserve-men up to the colours.
He speaks, and thinks, hopefully of our
recruits, and gives very good reasons
for so speaking and thinking; and he
has done his best to content the Medical
Service and attract to its ranks the
strength now wanting. Altogether
Hardy shows cause for the extra half-

vol. lxx.