Punch (70.1876)

84

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[March 4, 1876.

MUCH IN THE SAME LINE.

Chinaincniacs (on tiie prow\ with an eye to prey). "Have you got any Old Crockery, my good Woman?"
Old Woman (suspiciously). "Crockery, indeed j What do you give for Rabbit-Skins ?"

ON A POLITICAL ZOILUS.

. (Lowe v. High Policy.)

There's a scholarly Statesman who wields a keen wit,
Like a rapier polished, and pungent of point;

You might warrant that wonderful swordsman would hit
In a dragon-fly's armour the tiniest joint.

The Gushers and Loggers fight shy of that blade,
The Wind-Bags all shrink from its pitiless prick,

And fools at the Hash of it slink to the shade,
■ Double-Quick!

But so keen is his eye, and so sure is his hand,
That to pry and to prod grow his only delight.

For sentiment—pooh! 'tis a mountebank's wand,
And policy—nothing but conjuror's sleight.

Small prudence, thinks he, based on L, s. and d.,
Backed by cynical sneer and discourteous snub,

Is the JEgis of State. But John Bull can't agree ;
There's the rub!

The spy-glass and scalpel are all very well,
But a microscope's useless for watching the stars ;

And the blade that's a boon when it cuts up a " sell,"
When it pricks little holes in big policy, mars. .

We are not wholly governed by ledger-law yet;
And the pitiful prudence that fain woidd have shrunk

From a right royal risk, Punch declares—with regret-
Looks like—funk!

A New Shakspeare Reading.

Adapted to the Times.

" All the world's a Link,
And all the men and women merely skaters.

A DELICATE SITUATION. •

Mr. Punch,

■ As the Pantomimes are nearly over, I shall soon be out of
place, and what do you think of my applying for the situation
following ?—

WANTED, a Christian Person who has seen better days, and would
value a kind'home more than high wages, as NUKSE in a private

family.

I'm a rare hand 'at nursing (ask Pantaloon if I'm not), and,
though I'm often heard to exclaim " Oh, what a day we 're having ! "
I don't at all mind owning that I've seen many better. People who
have seen me steal a baby, and then thump it on the floor, or treat
it like a football, may entertain a doubt if I can be " a Christian
person ; " but people who in these days expect to find a servant who
will work for them for kindness' sake, and next to nothing wages,
may expect their advertisement to be treated as a joke, and
answered by ; A Clown.

Music of the Future.

The Duke of Edinburgh is going to give something more than
his Patronage to the New National Musical Training School of Ken-
sington. His Royal Highness, we hear, contemplates giving Lectim s
on the National Wind Instrument of Scotland, with personal illus-
trations on the Bagpipes. Of course there will be a Bagpipe
Scholarship to add to the fleet of scholar-ships already announced.
The question as to "who will pay the piper" has not yet been
answered. Doubtless, H.R.H., as England's Sailor Prince, will also
throw in a Hornpipe Scholarship. The lucky winner of both
honours will be known as Kensington Bag-and-Hornpiper to H.R.H.
the Duke of Edinburgh, by Appointment. So far, the prospects of
the New National Musical Training School are magnificent!

The Worst Slave Circular [By a Brute of a Bachelor)—The
Wedding-Eing.

Printei by Joseph Smith of No 31, Lora'ne Road H< noway, in the Parish of »1. Mary, Islinston, in the County of Middlesex, at tie Printing Offices of Messrs. Bradbury, Airn»». * Co., Lombard ,
Street, in the Piecinct ol vVhittlriars, in tht City of London, and published ny him at No, hi, Fleet Sa-eet, in the Parish of St. Br.de, City of London.—Satcbday, march i, 1S16.