Punch: Punch (70.1876)

OUR WAVERLEY BALL AT MUGGYPORE, BENGAL.

(His Royal Highness did not come our vxiy as was expected, but it was a brilliant success all the same.)
Captain Mango (as the Baron Bradwardine). "I say, Fok.ee, you're late. Where's your Coat and your Eapier ? Look

sharp ! "

Lieutenant FoTcer. "My dear Fellow, I've changed my char'cter. That least of a Durzee* hasn't finished my Doublet
and Trunks, so I shall go as I am—'s that fellow in Ivanhoe, What'shisname the Unready, y'know. Rumchummee here
says I look 'splendid' ! !"

* Tailor.

Since last you met within these walls, an agreeable place of relax-
ation and amusement has been opened near to the seat of your
deliberations^ I refer to the Royal Aquarium, where you will have
the opportunity of unbending your minds, after too long and too
close attention to your legislative duties. I venture to suggest to
Her Majesty's Government the propriety of holding their annual
Ministerial Fish Dinner at this establishment.

The Royal visit to India has proved a gratifying success, and will,
I trust, induce you to take a greater interest in the concerns of that
vast country than you have of late years displayed. Perhaps the
diversion of boar-hunting, from which so much was expected, has
proved more satisfactory to the pigs than to the Prince. By the aid
of an intelligent and trustworthy eyewitness I have endeavoured to
keep you fully acquainted with every detail of the Royal progress.
Should it be necessary to ask for a supplementary grant, grant it
without a moment's hesitation or a night's debate.

Of the relations of this country with Foreign Powers, I foresee
that you and I will hear more than enough. It is hard to believe
that 'the sick man" who is in such straits on the Bosphorus can
ever be convalescent. It remains to be seen whether a recent trans-
action in Canal Shares with His Highness the Khedive of Egypt
will hold water. The startling project of a Tunnel under the English
Channel, to connect this country and France, is worthy of a few
minutes of your serious attention. Spain is much as usual. Germany
and England will, I hope, never be other than the best of friends.
You have had the happiness of seeing that the Princess of Wales
has returned from Denmark in health and safety. Sweden and
Norway never give Mr. Bright, myself, and other experienced
salmon-fishers a moment's uneasiness. You will all, I am convinced,
wish success to the approaching Centennial Exhibition at Phila-
delphia.

England must have a real Army—not the show and shadow of one.
I trust to your common sense to look facts in the face, and to provide
the means of effective national defence.

Gentlemen of the House of Commons,

When the annual Estimates are laid before you, I trust you
will devote due time and attention to their consideration. Be
liberal, but not extravagant; economical, but not niggardly.

Should the year's accounts show a surplus, I am confident that
you could not better employ a portion of it than in augmenting the
pay and salaries of those meritorious persons in the service of the
Crown whose means of living have not increased with the increasing
expenses of living. A great and wealthy country like ours should
not be outdone in remuneration of its servants by a bank or a brewery.

My Lords and Gentlemen,

" Circulars," as we all know, are troublesome and annoying,
but sometimes we are obliged to read and consider their contents,
even though we should afterwards throw them into the waste-paper
basket. The documents of this description which you will be called
upon to discuss are of more than fugitive importance, and should
not be weighed in a spirit of mere slavish submission to party consi-
derations.

I trust you will fathom and get to the bottom of certain disagree-
able incidents connected with our Navy.

You will know how to spell Mobilization and Localization before
the labours of our busy Bee are ended.

I implore you to settle the vexatious Burials Bill question. The
prospect of another recess, with its clerical controversies and corre-
spondence, its meetings of unwise clergy and imprudent laity, is too
terrible. Let us try, S we can bury nothing else, to bury the hatchet.

Either you or your successors will be forced to face the life and