Punch: Punch (70.1876)

138

[April 8, 1876.

CONFUSION OF COURTS.

(See "Punch," ante, p. 109.)

Cook {scornfully). " Which it were the County ' Court' as the Lady were Persented at ! 'cause she Refused to pay her

Cook's Salary along o' her claimin' her Perkisits !!! '.'

GAMP VERSUS PECKSNIFF.

Sairey,on the Rampage again.

" This political Pecksniff, who preaches of conscience and honesty ....
shall he come down and harangue the Tory party on its want of conscientious-
ness, whose only service to that virtue has been the warning example he has
offered of the opposite vice ? . . . His premature and sinister resumption of
the post which he had formally resigned, and his perverse and poisonous invec-
tives where it was certain that opposition could only aggravate the mischief, if
mischief there was, in the measure introduced by Government, will be found,
we think, to have indefinitely retarded the recovery of his former hold on the
respect and confidence of the people."—Standard, on Mr. Gladstone.

Gr-r-r ! Drat him ! He's at it agen ; and I hoped he were settled
at last,

That wexing and worritting William, as plagued me so much in
the past.

Which my Ben giv him one in the wind, and he seemed out of time
fairly knocked—

Here he comes up a-smiling once more—drat his cheek!—wich I
really feel shocked.

He wenture to talk about wirtue, prerogative, conscience, and such ?
He twit us with blind Party Sperrit ? 0 lor! that's a little too
much!

Though Benjamin roasted him rarely, I must have a go at him too,
As what Benjy's p'int mayn't be good for my cotton umbrella
may do.

For a bounceable party like William a thump is as good as a
_ thrust,

And it's more in my line ; which my gingham I'd ply till the ribs
of it bust,

If so be it might beat rub-a-dub on his ribs, as it often has done;
Though, drat him! he don't seem to care, which, you know, rayther
takes off the fun.

Party Sperrit, says Burke, has its use. I says ditto to dear
Mr. Burke ;

But it ain't that 'ere sperrit one sees on the Liberal Benches at work.
That's Facksnus Obstruction—a wiper as Tories was ne'er known to
nuss:

There's nothink I so much despiges, or daily drops down upon wuss.

But for this 'ere Political Pecksniff, whose buzzum's a bed of sech
snakes,

To fie-fie each nice little move as my own blessed Benjamin makesj
Is just the most bragian bunkum. A nasty, mean, wenomous pest!
If there's one thing as I says my prayers for—it is that that man
may be—blest!

Which I did think he'd guv up the reins, and did hope we had done
with him quite,

This Jehu, whose desperit driving so long filled poor Sairey with
fright.

And what does he want sneaking round with the whip in his hand
as of old,

Which its Averry first well-beknown crack makes my blood to run
creepy and cold.

He a hermit indeed ! Well a Hermit once won the " blue riband,"
so please

Hold tight, my boy Ben, and look sharp W you drive, or the

ribands he '11 seize.—-
(As this 'ere's an aside, to the world I proclaim he ain't got half a

chance,

For all his great gift of the gab and his fine hanky-panky finance!)

He has spiled his last chance—(so I swears, and I wish, how I wish,
it was true !)—

A insulting his Hempress ! Just like him—and, Benjie, how little
like you !

As I fearlessly arsts what concern is Her Majesty's Title of his'n ?
A bragian and bounceable traitor, as ought to be popped into
prison!