DOI Heft:
April 29, 1876
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16942#0167
April 29, 1876.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
165
quailing before the cruel, red stripes of streaky light that stripe-
paint the sky, as though it were a gloriously illumined side of
breakfast bacon.
"One last kiss! " he cried, husky-voiced, yet holding the prize
—which he had so nearly won, and so lately lost—in his iron bon-
dage. " Bella ! my darling! my own! my sweet, soft, scrumpshous
little dumpling! Do you know how much I love you ? "
"No," replied Bella, crying pitifully, and her big eyes looking
up at him through her tears, like quivering, guttering rushlights,
in which the flame of love was djung out, shining through a rushing
Niagara of overflowing grief.
It was Dttsover's sole chance—it had come to the point of '' now
or never"—he chose " now," and throwing off the last rag of con-
straint, he let the floodgates of his passion loose, to the utter destruc-
tion of his painfully-acquired grammar, and wrapping his long,
supple, muscrdar arms round and round her as she stood, wound her
into his coils as the deadly, mesmeric-eyed boa-constrictor hugs the
fascinated rabbit, tighter, tighter, bending his head down from its
stately height—as the tall giraffe to nibble the lowly buttercup—
to cull the fresh, moist, dewy bloom on her pouting lips, nearer,
nearer—
" He squeezeth, as, with feverish palms, the boy
Squeezeth the pipful orange, which, when squoze,
He chucketh down, a shapeless, tattered, rind,
To make the thoughtful slip, the careless fall."
" I loves yer so much," hissed Dlsovek huskily in her ear—the
whole Jeames of Bukley Square breaking out in the burst of un-
restrained, furious passion—" I loves yer so hawful much us—there—
I could bile yer all to nothink, and dine hoff yer, without a relish,
as if yer wos tripe-a-no?iions!'"
I confess I am tired of writing about love-making.* When two
people have reached the summit, they cannot go any higher, and,
it may be, have both to come down again.
In his strong embrace she was almost powerless, but battling with
her strong, turbid love, which would not, for worlds, have injured a
hair of that dark, crisp, curly head, she whispered in his ear—
" Dusovee ! Jeames ! here's a policeman coming ! "
Then he let her go, and dashing her, almost roughly, against the
impassive rocks, strode onwards without one lingering glance or
grudging sigh, turning his back to the rising sun, as though scorn-
fully refusing the one offer of celestial hope that dawns each morn-
ing upon a guilty, foggy world. So he strode onwards, tall, solitary,
glaring-eyed, with a canker-worm at his heart, and the small,
blue-eyed flower she had given him in his button-hole. So strode
he on, and so was lost to view.
Then poor, erring, wayward, loving Bella, free at last, clomb the
sheer cliff, and threw herself down on the warm, soft, mown grass,
damp with the dews of night, as with the tears of angels on sweet
I don't care how wicked he is," she said to herself, while
tumbling restlessly among the poppies, and weeping as though she
would cry her heart out. "I have lost him! He has gone!—for
ever!! "
The Lark rose, singing blithely, and was lost in heaven.
" That ivas a Lark ! " she exclaimed, looking upward. " He has
disappeared ! Are there Larks still going on above the skies ? "
Frantic passion, utterly uncurbed, made the girl recklessly wicked.
She rolled about all over the field, among the long grass, so that the
farmer might as well have had a hurricane over his property, so
entirely was the outline of her soft, plump form marked out in the
crushed and crumpled herbage.
" I am not one of those little muslin dolls," she cried, in un-
governed frenzy, "with wax heads and china hands, and all the
* What the Editor says.—" ' Love-making!' If this sort of thing is
1 love-making,' then the less the manufactured article is patronised the better.
We have written—on behalf of three out of four of the Editing Committee—
to request that we may have no more of this in the present novel. We are
bound, however, by our duty to our readers, to inform them that our Maiden
Aunt—who still represents the female interest at our impartial board—is of
opinion that there 's no actual harm in it, and that in a powerful situation
powerful writing is necessary. We, in a calm and dignified letter to the
distinguished Authoress, ask, is it necessary to invent situations which demand
such 'powerful' writing? Do you not, my dear lady (we say), dwell just a
little too much on what might be (according to your own admirably artistic
suggestion in a former letter to us) left entirely to imagination. For instance,
with respect we advance this—why couldn't your hero say, ' / have deceived
you. My calves are false ; and I am a married man. Good-bye.' Then,
unable to restrain his emotion, they took a touching farewell of one another,
and so parted. There you are—in a nutshell. Now, isn't your graphic and
—excuse us—rather spun-out description of their embracing, caressing, hug-
ging, &c, both far too much and far too strong ?—Ed. {for Self and Partners).
What the Authoress says.—" Too strong !—nonsense! It isn't milk-and-
water, of course, but there's not a headache in a hogshead of it. When I
offered the story, you jumped at it. Well, now you can skip as much as you
don't like. There isn't much more ; but what there is is the best thing I've
ever written; and as to moral!—ah! moral's not the word. Love to your
Aunt—the only sensible fellow in your Committee."—E. D.
rest sawdust. I can feel: lean. Ugly, pretty, fat, nice, great,
right-sized thing! " she said, pinching her own round, firm arm
quite fiercely. There's not much sawdust in you! "
So she went on, this poor, ungoverned soul, and all the while
the little watch was ticking in her pocket, at her left side, as though
to remind her of the debt due from poor Humanity.
Suddenly she leapt up. She had told Dtjsovee, that a policeman
was coming. Had she been right ? Was that dark form approach-
ing indeed a stern, unbending constable ? True, she had not till
this moment noticed the writing of the finger of fate on the board in
the field, yet it was there, clear and above-board, "Trespassers will
be prosecuted."
" Hallo, young woman! What the-"
She waited for no more; but, like a hunted deer, she bounded
oyer the hedge, politely stooping her head beneath the^interlacing
kissing boughs, and sprung into the narrow lane.
(To be continued.)
THE PHILADELPHIA EXHIBITION.
5, J eomtnent among the curi-
osities to be exhibited at
the forthcoming World's
Show, we have little ex-
pectation that there will
be found the follow-
ing :—
Purse manufactured, by
the Ladies of Philadel-
phia, wherein the surplus
money paid by England
in excess of the sub-
stantiated Alabama
claims will be speedily
restored (with interest) to
the British Treasury.
Case containing some
choice specimens of the
work of the Wire-prdlers
in Congress.
Autograph Letter from
the famous Me. Baenum,
offering to organise a
starring tour for the
Khedive, with a view to
the recruitment of his
State finances.
Scheme for securing
perfect purity of voting in all future Elections of President.
Cookery-Book containing many useful recipes for the cooking of
Municipal Accounts by the servants of the public.
Portrait of a Lady living in New York, who has been induced to
travel with less than fifteen trunks and bonnet-boxes.
Code of Pules of the Chace for the place-hunters at Washington.
A Saltspoon discovered at a Continental table^d'hote. Supposed
by British experts to be an unique specimen.
'Photograph of a Spanish Bond, with the words "Paid in- full"
legibly inscribed on it.
A real London Sunbeam, carefully preserved in bottle by a
Boston tourist.
Bazor belonging to an English Gentleman, who has contrived to
shave himself, without a single awkward cut, at a foreign looking-
glass.
Forecast of the Weather expected in England during _ the next
twelve months. By one who hardly hopes to survive its eccen-
tricities.
Scheme for a Sinking Fund, for enabling the Sultan to keep his
head above water.
Autograph exhibited by the British Admiralty, to show who was
the Author of the famous first Slave Circular.
Working model of a Lavatory for publicly washing the dirty
linen of the Government at Washington.
Declaration of Independence by strong-minded Mormon Ladies. _
Machine for whitewashing the character of all suspected Civil
Servants, to be patented by Congress.
Model Hive for Spelling Bees.
Ptough draught of an Act of Congress, prohibiting the Piracy of
any English Author's works by any Yankee Publisher.
mrs. gamp on the stock exchange.
" Which them Egyptian Bondholders in the City does look werry
Khediverous, I must say ! "
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
165
quailing before the cruel, red stripes of streaky light that stripe-
paint the sky, as though it were a gloriously illumined side of
breakfast bacon.
"One last kiss! " he cried, husky-voiced, yet holding the prize
—which he had so nearly won, and so lately lost—in his iron bon-
dage. " Bella ! my darling! my own! my sweet, soft, scrumpshous
little dumpling! Do you know how much I love you ? "
"No," replied Bella, crying pitifully, and her big eyes looking
up at him through her tears, like quivering, guttering rushlights,
in which the flame of love was djung out, shining through a rushing
Niagara of overflowing grief.
It was Dttsover's sole chance—it had come to the point of '' now
or never"—he chose " now," and throwing off the last rag of con-
straint, he let the floodgates of his passion loose, to the utter destruc-
tion of his painfully-acquired grammar, and wrapping his long,
supple, muscrdar arms round and round her as she stood, wound her
into his coils as the deadly, mesmeric-eyed boa-constrictor hugs the
fascinated rabbit, tighter, tighter, bending his head down from its
stately height—as the tall giraffe to nibble the lowly buttercup—
to cull the fresh, moist, dewy bloom on her pouting lips, nearer,
nearer—
" He squeezeth, as, with feverish palms, the boy
Squeezeth the pipful orange, which, when squoze,
He chucketh down, a shapeless, tattered, rind,
To make the thoughtful slip, the careless fall."
" I loves yer so much," hissed Dlsovek huskily in her ear—the
whole Jeames of Bukley Square breaking out in the burst of un-
restrained, furious passion—" I loves yer so hawful much us—there—
I could bile yer all to nothink, and dine hoff yer, without a relish,
as if yer wos tripe-a-no?iions!'"
I confess I am tired of writing about love-making.* When two
people have reached the summit, they cannot go any higher, and,
it may be, have both to come down again.
In his strong embrace she was almost powerless, but battling with
her strong, turbid love, which would not, for worlds, have injured a
hair of that dark, crisp, curly head, she whispered in his ear—
" Dusovee ! Jeames ! here's a policeman coming ! "
Then he let her go, and dashing her, almost roughly, against the
impassive rocks, strode onwards without one lingering glance or
grudging sigh, turning his back to the rising sun, as though scorn-
fully refusing the one offer of celestial hope that dawns each morn-
ing upon a guilty, foggy world. So he strode onwards, tall, solitary,
glaring-eyed, with a canker-worm at his heart, and the small,
blue-eyed flower she had given him in his button-hole. So strode
he on, and so was lost to view.
Then poor, erring, wayward, loving Bella, free at last, clomb the
sheer cliff, and threw herself down on the warm, soft, mown grass,
damp with the dews of night, as with the tears of angels on sweet
I don't care how wicked he is," she said to herself, while
tumbling restlessly among the poppies, and weeping as though she
would cry her heart out. "I have lost him! He has gone!—for
ever!! "
The Lark rose, singing blithely, and was lost in heaven.
" That ivas a Lark ! " she exclaimed, looking upward. " He has
disappeared ! Are there Larks still going on above the skies ? "
Frantic passion, utterly uncurbed, made the girl recklessly wicked.
She rolled about all over the field, among the long grass, so that the
farmer might as well have had a hurricane over his property, so
entirely was the outline of her soft, plump form marked out in the
crushed and crumpled herbage.
" I am not one of those little muslin dolls," she cried, in un-
governed frenzy, "with wax heads and china hands, and all the
* What the Editor says.—" ' Love-making!' If this sort of thing is
1 love-making,' then the less the manufactured article is patronised the better.
We have written—on behalf of three out of four of the Editing Committee—
to request that we may have no more of this in the present novel. We are
bound, however, by our duty to our readers, to inform them that our Maiden
Aunt—who still represents the female interest at our impartial board—is of
opinion that there 's no actual harm in it, and that in a powerful situation
powerful writing is necessary. We, in a calm and dignified letter to the
distinguished Authoress, ask, is it necessary to invent situations which demand
such 'powerful' writing? Do you not, my dear lady (we say), dwell just a
little too much on what might be (according to your own admirably artistic
suggestion in a former letter to us) left entirely to imagination. For instance,
with respect we advance this—why couldn't your hero say, ' / have deceived
you. My calves are false ; and I am a married man. Good-bye.' Then,
unable to restrain his emotion, they took a touching farewell of one another,
and so parted. There you are—in a nutshell. Now, isn't your graphic and
—excuse us—rather spun-out description of their embracing, caressing, hug-
ging, &c, both far too much and far too strong ?—Ed. {for Self and Partners).
What the Authoress says.—" Too strong !—nonsense! It isn't milk-and-
water, of course, but there's not a headache in a hogshead of it. When I
offered the story, you jumped at it. Well, now you can skip as much as you
don't like. There isn't much more ; but what there is is the best thing I've
ever written; and as to moral!—ah! moral's not the word. Love to your
Aunt—the only sensible fellow in your Committee."—E. D.
rest sawdust. I can feel: lean. Ugly, pretty, fat, nice, great,
right-sized thing! " she said, pinching her own round, firm arm
quite fiercely. There's not much sawdust in you! "
So she went on, this poor, ungoverned soul, and all the while
the little watch was ticking in her pocket, at her left side, as though
to remind her of the debt due from poor Humanity.
Suddenly she leapt up. She had told Dtjsovee, that a policeman
was coming. Had she been right ? Was that dark form approach-
ing indeed a stern, unbending constable ? True, she had not till
this moment noticed the writing of the finger of fate on the board in
the field, yet it was there, clear and above-board, "Trespassers will
be prosecuted."
" Hallo, young woman! What the-"
She waited for no more; but, like a hunted deer, she bounded
oyer the hedge, politely stooping her head beneath the^interlacing
kissing boughs, and sprung into the narrow lane.
(To be continued.)
THE PHILADELPHIA EXHIBITION.
5, J eomtnent among the curi-
osities to be exhibited at
the forthcoming World's
Show, we have little ex-
pectation that there will
be found the follow-
ing :—
Purse manufactured, by
the Ladies of Philadel-
phia, wherein the surplus
money paid by England
in excess of the sub-
stantiated Alabama
claims will be speedily
restored (with interest) to
the British Treasury.
Case containing some
choice specimens of the
work of the Wire-prdlers
in Congress.
Autograph Letter from
the famous Me. Baenum,
offering to organise a
starring tour for the
Khedive, with a view to
the recruitment of his
State finances.
Scheme for securing
perfect purity of voting in all future Elections of President.
Cookery-Book containing many useful recipes for the cooking of
Municipal Accounts by the servants of the public.
Portrait of a Lady living in New York, who has been induced to
travel with less than fifteen trunks and bonnet-boxes.
Code of Pules of the Chace for the place-hunters at Washington.
A Saltspoon discovered at a Continental table^d'hote. Supposed
by British experts to be an unique specimen.
'Photograph of a Spanish Bond, with the words "Paid in- full"
legibly inscribed on it.
A real London Sunbeam, carefully preserved in bottle by a
Boston tourist.
Bazor belonging to an English Gentleman, who has contrived to
shave himself, without a single awkward cut, at a foreign looking-
glass.
Forecast of the Weather expected in England during _ the next
twelve months. By one who hardly hopes to survive its eccen-
tricities.
Scheme for a Sinking Fund, for enabling the Sultan to keep his
head above water.
Autograph exhibited by the British Admiralty, to show who was
the Author of the famous first Slave Circular.
Working model of a Lavatory for publicly washing the dirty
linen of the Government at Washington.
Declaration of Independence by strong-minded Mormon Ladies. _
Machine for whitewashing the character of all suspected Civil
Servants, to be patented by Congress.
Model Hive for Spelling Bees.
Ptough draught of an Act of Congress, prohibiting the Piracy of
any English Author's works by any Yankee Publisher.
mrs. gamp on the stock exchange.
" Which them Egyptian Bondholders in the City does look werry
Khediverous, I must say ! "