Punch (70.1876)

220

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[June 3, 1876.

PUNCH'S] ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

^(y^^^it^^^^sss^—^^mlJ ^—- > ussia. Prussia, Austria,
\ ^^^^Sf^^Jdim^^A^-' ''• England, in re

>W^^^^KB^MWl ~~ Turkey.

f^-J^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^fe :, Since the Lords

J5§lPl5^0^E?li^» J3^7p fvn nac^ Vivisection in

^t^S^S^^^ J" mj^^> '"*m^ hand [Monday, May

({y^}^ v- -~ ^ * 22/«7),itwasnotfrom

' "' the question in Lord

C N—-\ Granville to ask

_Lord Derby as to

—-< the interesting, if

1' painful, experiments

m the Vivisection of

Turkey now in progress, at the hands of the Northern Doctors. Lord Derby
was able to say that England had declined to join in them. (Everybody sees
that the Sick Man can't get better ; but we.don't like to take part in killing
him under pretence of curing. One thing seems clear. AVhat between his
diseases and his doctors, he can't recover where he is. The climate of Europe
doesn't agree with him. Why not try change of air? Get him over to Asia,
and come to a fair and open understanding between England, France, Russia,
Germany, Austria, and Italy, how the estate is to be managed for the good
of the tenants, and not of the executors. That was what Nicholas proposed
to Sir Hamilton Seymour, before the Crimean War; and we fought rather
than entertain the proposal. And, after all, is not this about the best that it
is coming to ?)

Then came the smaller Vivisection question—on Second Reading of Lord
Carnarvon's Bill, putting scientific curiosity into humanitarian handcuffs.
Toby, on behalf of the canine creation—and the feline race in whom he is not
above recognising a domestic poor-relationship—begs to thank the Government
for exempting dogs and cats from the knife. Anaesthetics are all very well, but
doctors differ in the importance they attach to them ; and your Kleins and Schiffs
evidently hold suffering dog-and-cat-cheap, in comparison with discovery. (By
the bye, what do the frogs, rabbits, guinea-pigs, and monkeys, on whom the
burden of Vivisection now falls heaviest, say on the chapter of Exemptions?)

Lord Shaftesbury spoke warmly for the Bill, like a kind soul as he is, and
the Costermonger's Donkey at St. Giles's would have brayed approval could he
have heard him. The Duke of Somerset tried a little chaff, in his own
style of cold-blooded common sense, but it did not take. Their Lordships
are sportsmen ; they are not physicians or physiologists, and though they don't
mind sending away a bird with an ounce of lead in it to a lingering death, they
hate cutting up anything alive. Vermin is one thing, and Game is another.
Gentlemen must have their hunting and shooting : so field-sports must be
respected, though, as savage amusements, they are beyond regulation. The
laboratory is within the pale of Civilisation.

[Punch rejoices to know that henceforth the ardour of Science is to move in the
leading-strings of common humanity, and that the knife is not to be put into
the hand of every learner, to slash his way to knowledge through the nerves
of the lower animals. If beneficial discoveries can only be made by sounding
the well of life, let wise and reverent hands have the handling of the plummet.
But Punch had always understood that England, even without law, had set an
example of humanity to France and Germany in the conduct of physiological
and pathological experiments on living things. How if the chief effect of this
new law should be to drive our students to the French and German schools,
where, with their physiology, they may learn other things not quite so desir-
able ?)

[Co?n?nons).—Mr. Disraeli gave a full and considered answer to Mr. M.
Brooks, stating seriatim the cases of the Fenian prisoners still in confinement, and

to remit their punishments. This raised a storm of
scurrility from Mr. Biggar, whose offensive'personalities
provoked Mr. Brooks, for himself and the other Irish
Members, to repudiate Mr. Biggar! Altogether, if
anything could open Mr. Biggar's eyes to his own
enormities, one would fancy this might. But no"—he

will .be Biggar—the biggest of big-, something, to

the last.

Mb. O'Connor Power insisted on 'the petition for
release of the Fenian prisoners, signed by 138 Members
of Parliament. But Mr. Anderson said it would not
have been so numerously signed, at least among English
Members, but for the understanding that no murderers
were to be included in its prayer.

'«*Mr. Parnell and Mr. Callan denied the'alleged mis-
understanding, and Mr. Butt tried by special pleading
to prove that murderers in law might not be murderers
in fact, till the matter dropped in rather a confused
hubbub of antagonistic Irish and English protest.

On report of Merchant Shipping Bill Amendments,
several of the old battles were fought over again; and
Mr. Pllmsoll scored one important win, carrying the
absolute prohibition of winter timber deck-loading,
against Government, by 162 to 143 ! Whereon Punch
shakes hands with Plimsoll—Sir Charles a good deal
" bustled " as usual.

One is glad to think that he sees the end of his Plimsoll
purgatory at last. The Bill is to be read a Third Time
on Thursday.

Tuesday [Lords).—Lord Grey moved Second Read-
ing of his Burials Bill, for easing existing difficulties
by making- new ones. Lord Grey proposes not to re-
lease the Clergyman from the obligation to perform the
service when he feels a conscientious objection, but, on
the other hand, he would not allow him to prevent some-
body else from performing service. Just one of those
sage compromises which please nobody. So it_ seemed,
for nobody, not even its parent, objected to its being
shouldered out, without a word or a division.

Several of their Lordships asked questions about the
Continuous Brake experiments on the Railways.

Lord Aberdeen said the Report wasn't ready yet.
How should it be, with the break experiments still
froing on on so many lines, if not quite continuous, all
but. Can't their Lordships wait for their brake until
the Companies have done with their smashes ?

A talk about Dover Harbour, which, it seems, is still
under consideration. Their Lordships have a natural
sympathy with piers in difficulties.

[Commons.)—The Chancellor of the Exchequer,
questioned by Mr. Cartwright, said Mr. Rivers Wilson
would have no objection to take a year's financial en-
gagement under the Khedive, if his place at home
could be kept open for it. But it can't. So it is sup-
posed Rivers will flow back to native sources—of income.
The Nile is all very well, but Egypt still wants Rivers
to carry out her financial irrigation scheme.

Mr. James (of Gateshead) called the City Companies
over the coals, moved for a great many returns con-
nected with them, and suggested that it was time they
gave an account of their administration of their £500,000
of annual income in the City, lest a worse thing come
upon them, in the shape of the heavy hand of Parliament.

The Lord Mayor presented himself as a buffer be-
tween Mr. James's fire and the Companies. Nothing
like a Cotton-bag: to stop shot. His Lordship spoke
up to his brief. The Guilds.were private associations ;
their property private property. They accounted for their
trust funds to the Charity Commissioners ; and nobody
had a right to call them to account for more. _ They
spent £200,000 a year in charity, and the rest in the
best possible manner. (Suppose a good deal went in
dinners. Why not ? Were they not good dinners ?
And did not the good Companies command good 'com-
pany ?)

Sir G. Bowyer shot beyond the Lord Mayor. Parlia-
ment had no right to ask for such information^ If the
Guilds were wise, they would refuse to give it. The
demand was unconstitutional, and pessimi exempli.
If there is still a Bowyers' Company, they are bound
to make Slr George free of it; for truly he draws a good
bow for the Guilds.)

Mr. Gladstone was down on Cotton, and cut the string
and blunted the shaft of Bowyer. It might not be wise

the reasons why it would be a lie in the teeth of justice and policy, as well as reason, I to press for the information just now, when the Com