Punch (70.1876)

270 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [July 1, 1876.

BY SPECIAL LICENCE.

Paterfamilias {impressively, to his Coachman). " Jaevis ! You will have to
Drive us first to the Church, then back here to the "Wedding-Breakfast,
and then you will take my daughter and her newly-married husband
to the Station at London Bridge ; so i particularly wish you to keep
thoroughly Sober all Day!"

Jarvis. " All right, Sir ! But I snouLD like to take a Drop too much
this Evening, Sir!"

speaking of her as "Gin-dealer," and " 3Ule. Gin-gerbeer." People
ivho know all about evert/thing, are setting everybody right, and giving
opitiions generally. People ivho want to talk about it afterwards, and
have no ideas of their own on the subject, are getting as near the known
musical critics, or musical celebrities, as possible, and picking tip opinions
to be retailed with additions, subsequently, as their own original notions.

ACT II.—More spectacle. Grand scene. Apparently Hall in an Egyptian
Theatrical Agent's house with a set of melancholy people' waiting to be
engaged by some enterprising Manager, and a band of Nigger boys (who
" never perform out of ' a Hall in the Apartments of Amneris ' ") practising
for the coming pantomime.

Enlightened Audience encores the nigger dance madly. Opposition. Boiv.
Nigger dance repeated, while slaves condole with Mile. Amneris on the
bad taste of the British public, which prefers the "break-down'1'' to the solo
she has just started and has been compelled to give up.

Habitue {much distressed). It really is a pity that Patti has made herself
such a red-brick-dust fright.

Facetious Party No. 1. Yes! look here! {points to book.) See what Amneris is
saying about her (reads).

"Amneris (fixedly looking towards A'ida. Aside). Yon deadly pallor—her bosom
panting.''

She's panting hard enough, but I '11 be hanged if she could show any deadly
pallor, unless some one would kindly empty a flour-bag over her. However, her
singing is admirable.

Act continues. More magnificence, and at the end of the scene there is a great
recall, ivhen, instead of taking it all to herself, Patti goes off, and returns,
leading on Mlle. Gtndele, ivhose hand she tvarmly shakes. Tremendous
enthusiasm, evoked by this graceful act, and on we go to Scene III.

More magnificence. Priests "and Vestry Virgins in
full force. Then comes the already celebrated March
(which is certain to be popular), played by an
Egyptian Brass Band ("time of the Pharaohs1'),
with instruments of the nineteenth century. But
Habitues are accustomed to this in " Semiramide,"
and in "Norma," so it astonishes no one! More
Golden Geese, carried by talented " Supers,"
specially selected by the Management, o?i account of
their experience in keeping the " right side upper-
most," and in sight of the Audience, in whatever
direction they happen to be marching. But, for
an extra sixpence, where so much has been spent,
the Birds might surely have been done on both sides.
They only have one gizzard-wing, and no more ; but
that, as carried, is effective.

Triumph of the Bold Egyptian Army. Entrance of
captives, apparently wives and other female relatives
of the conquered Ethiopians, who, we suppose,
must somehow have got into the battle by mistake,
and so have been captured, while the Ethiopian
heroes ran away—which is just what the ancestors
of the Ethiopian Serenaders would have done—
at least from what we know of them by Massa
Bones, and "Massa Ginger, sure, who play de
tambourine."

Enter Signoii Graziani as Amonasro, King of Ethiopia,
looking blacker than Othello or the above-men-
tioned Massa Bones.

Facetious Person No. 2 (struck by the fact of his
colour). I say, he's supposed to be A'ida's father. He's
as black as my hat, and she's as red as a brick wall.
I say, this won't do, you know.

\_Appeals to his Friend, who can't account for it
himself, but suggests writing to Darwin on the
subject.

Magnificent finale. Brass everytvhere, voices nowhere-
Then comes Act III., which is, as an Habitue says, " a
gem." Charming duett between Patti and Nicolini.
Fine scene, musically and dramatically, bettveen Patti
and Graziani. Bate finish, but people stop to the end,
and the verdict generally is success.

From Opera to Theatre.—Les Eanichejf, at the St.
James's, is well worth seeing. Important advice to late
diners—on no account miss the first Act. The most
dramatic action of the play is in the first and third
Acts. The dialogue in the second is very good, and
admirably delivered. Madame Farguell is of course
consummate, but the part is by no means a strong one,
after the first Act. The difficult part of Ossip is admir-
ably played by M. Masset, and Helene Petit in Anna
is really,pathetic. "We hope to return to Les Danicheff.

At the Criterion, The Great Divorce Case is very
amusing, and is capitally played all round. It has the
advantage of a good company of eccentric comedians,
numbering among them Mr. Righton (whose sleepy
old man is excellent), Mr. Clarke, and Mr. Charles
Wyndham, whom the part fits like a glove. The Ladies
are all pretty, and Miss Coveney is an admirable
Mother-in-law.—Avis Important. The play> does not
begin until close on nine o'clock, so that the dinner-hour
need not be materially disarranged, and a good laugh
(which is certain) is a first-rate digestive.

HAVING YOU BOTH WAYS.

" Launched in the eclipse, with curses rigged,"—
If e'er craft braved the sea,
Or puffed along the stream of Thames,
A Steam-launch it must be.

Their steam distils the bitterest drops

In the Thames rower's cup ;
And yet what good to run them down,

When they can blow you up ?

And why should they your curses heed,

Or slack speed for your frown ?
What good is it to blow them up,

When they can run you down ?

A Pattern Professor—When is Mr. Maskelyne,
at the Egyptian Hall, like a Lecturer on Philosophy ?—
When he is " floating over the heads of his audience.