Punch (71.1876)

December 23, 1876.] PUNCH, OR, THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 271

THE REAL THING FORYJONCE.

Jenkins (who has missed the line, comes upon what he imagines to be (he "Stag at Bay "). " 'Old 'ard, 'Arry ! We must wait for the

'Ounds!"

BETSY PRIG'S SOLILOQUY

On Things in General and Sairey Gamp in particular.
(See the latter's Letter, Punch No. 1844.)

No, Sairey ! Don't go a suppoging it! Pardners no more, if you
please!

Which I've still got a character, Sairey, and then there are T's,
Mum, and T's.

As Telegraft doesn't mean Tory, nor Tory ain't ekal to Turk.
Me wisit you, Sairey ? Good grashus ! There would be a fine
piece o' work!

Shoe Lane ain't no place for my feet, Sairey. Like that werry

odd-behaved star
Them Music-hall (rents is so nuts on, " thou art so near, yet so far."
And as for inviting yourself, or that Harris, to tea in P. Court—
I declines to demean myself, Sairey. Ascuse me ; but there it is—

short.

And so I shan't answer no letters. But, bless us and save us ! I 'ope
As I may have a mind of my own, and make chice of the parties I '11
soap.

Which poor W. Or. 's had his turn, and—who knows ?—he may have
it again.

Though they did use to say as my treacle at last rayther went 'gainst
his grain.

And wot if T lather the Turks, as he's give hisself lately to leather,
And call " anti-human " and sech, as I holds is too bad altogether ;
Why, patriot feeling in course is my tip, and I'm sorry to say
That, as patriots, G. and his backers is gone werry sadly astray.

Which freedom's a werry fine thing, and humanity too,—in its
place.

Ah! who ever preached that 'ere gospel with Betsy's effugion and
grace ?—

Big Capitals spent in their cause was they ever begrudged by
B. Prig ?

But Constantinople, you see, is a Capital rayther too big.

Likeways Sentiment's proper and nice,— when it doesn't touch

pockets or power—
A neat fancy gingham, for use'when there isn't no signs of a shower;
But when " National Interest "'s at stake, it's as much out of place

as mischeevious.

" Perish India, rather .than honour" 's a sentiment shocking and
grievious.

Them Russians would use the poor Turk just to gain their own ends
—fraud or force ;

Which the same is percisely our game—though our ends is all

righteous, of course.
To turn the mild Mussulman out, with sech self-seeking motives, is

sin;

We, with similar motives—but pure ones—would keep the mild
Mussulman in.

They may say them dear Turks has a turn for " atrocity "—bother
that word! —

But they 're brave, and they 're grave, and.don't gush—jest my sort!

—that D. N. is absurd.
AVon't they leave ne'er a place to repent for my own sweet Seraskier ?

Ah, bah!

If those bloodthirsty Christians had bowels, they'd pity that young
Padishah.

Oh! them noisy fanatics do rile me! As well I'm aweer a head Nuss
Is a party as ought to be took—like a pardner—for better or wuss._
And Gruv'ments is ditto—leastways when they 're handling o' furrin
affairs,

Which outsiders should never go meddling, except with good wishes
and prayers.

Which is why I've a kind fellow-feeling for Benjamin B. and his
lot.

Up's up, after all! I shan't jine with the parties that's down on
them hot:

Betsy Prig is a patriot too downy for ever a Party to blind ;
More pertikier when that Party's stumbled, and got itself quite
left behind.

VOL. LXXI.