DOI Heft:
February 9, 1878
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17732#0064
60
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVAEI.
| February 9, 1878.
SWANS AND GEESE.
A few friendly words with the Society fir the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, d propos of their
latest prosecution.
ome people's Geese are
always Swans," So
runs
A proverb levelled at
the fussy ones.
And some well-mean-
ing- bodies in the
nation
Might take the saying1
for home-applica
OCCUPAtfDA EST JEGYPTXJS1
{Recommended to those Politicians
who abuse Russia, and insist on
our seizing Egypt.)
This spirited Eastern Policy
must have been suggested by a
page from the MS. Journal of a
Cornish Squire, in the last cen-
tury. It is as follows :—
" Sunday.—1o church. Storm of
wind and rain; heavy breakers on
reef outside. Parson was preachiEg
beautiful sermon on duty of praying
tion. for safety of tbose now in danger at
How chivalrous a mis- | sea, when a man came in, shouting,
sion may be marred J ' Wreck! Wreck !' There was a rush
By spurring the best Ito the door> evel7 one anxious to get
hobby - horse too ^is share of the good luck, when, our
hard ! worthy parson called out ' Stop a
Tf thp knie-hf-errant moment, my brethren! ' The solemn
ii T.ne Knignt errant, i tQneg of om, spiritual leader arrested
too mgh 10 MS j U8 all> and we waited, rather shame-
stirrups, stricken, for what he might have to
Like an o er pompous ; gay against the sin of wrecking. We
sparrow struts and ; saw his hands moving inside his
chirrups, gown ; then it was thrown off, and.
And tilts at pigmies, with a leap from the pulpit, he rushed
whilst the giants foremost through his congregation,
'scape him, | cryin£> ' Now for a fair start, boys I'"
The donkey's, not the —■
lion's, skin should
drape him. loquacity and legislation.
Giants abound, and Inter arma silent leges. That
Ogres grim and | may be ; but Legislators can talk
cruel, a plaguy deal in war-time.
More power to those who give such ghouls their gruel!— ._
But levelling lance at Lilliputian bogies,
Is not the work for paladins, but fogies. Hobson's Choice : Newest
Philanthropy found straining at a gnat, Cambridge Version.—The Senior
Foils its own higher purpose ' Verbum sat ! Wrangler, good luck to him!
AN ORIGINAL EARL.
Punch lately spoke of a certain speech of a certain Duke's as the
silliest thing that had yet been said on the Duke's side of the present
all-absorbing question. We beg leave to shift the cap from the head
of that distinguished Duke to that of an Earl who henceforth
deserves to be still more distinguished in the same order.
His Lordship in supporting an Amendment expressing confidence
in the Government, carried at a " Neutrality Meeting " at Bother-
ham, thus stated the reason of his fierce indignation against the
Bussians:—
"There is, and there was two years ago, a certain Captain Burnaby, a
man of great intelligence and power, a man whose time was not spent in
idleness, but whose time was tilled by useful and interesting occupation.
Captain Burnaby is a great traveller, and, what is more, he is such a great
linguist that he can Bpeak most of the European languages, many of them as
well as the natives. Captain Burnaby wished to travel, and see other parts
of the world besides his own. {A Voice—' And to advertise Cockle's Pills'
Great laughter.) He obtained the permission of the authorities under whom
he was placed, and he set out on his famous ride to Khiva. He was told,
' You will not be allowed to get into Khiva ;' but Captain Burnaby was not
a man to be turned back, and he said, ' I will go to Khiva,' and he went on
his celebrated ride. When he got to his journey's end he was told that he
must not return by the way he came. The llussian authorities knew too
well that Captain Burnaby was going to tell us something that they did not
wish us to know. Well, Captain Burnaby set his face to return to England,
and he came back, and I will tell you why : because Kussia at that moment
put her foot on the neck of Captain Burnaby' and of England too. (' Bosh !'
and1 It's true!' and loud and long-continued cheering, hooting, and dis-
order.) England's neck was most distinctly under the foot of Kussia; and it
is because of that I have come here to protest, and to say that your interests
and mine too have been attacked. {Loud and long-continued applause.)"
The present agitation has brought many wonderful "British
Interests" to light, but we are disposed to think "Captain Bur-
naby's neck" the oddest " British Interest" yet out. Considering
how rashly the gallant Captain has adventured it in his various
Bides, it is about the "riskiest" interest, we should say, that in-
surers ever undertook. But it has been reserved for Lord Frrz-
william to discover in Captain Burnaby's much-risked neck a
reason for shaking his fist in Bussia's face, if not for going to war
with her right off, which we will answer for it has not before
occurred to any other human being.
Our own distinguished Correspondent, whose Bide to Khiva across
these pages made such a sensation last year, is, he admits, for the
first time, jealous of the Captain, whose Bide he has outdone. He
puts it to Lord Fitzwilliam. What has he done that his shameful
treatment by the Bussian authorities, as recorded in these pages, and
since in the Beprint of his Bide (price one shilling), should not be
insisted upon among our casus belli against Bussia ?
The Captain wasn't nearly as ill-treated; as Our Correspondent;
didn't go through half as many exciting adventures, and above all,
as Our Correspondent points out, the Captain only rode to Khiva,
whereas Our Correspondent rode there and bach !
We decidedly recommend Our Correspondent to Earl Fitzwilliam
for his next " British Interest," when he has again to move a " con-
fidence " motion at a Neutrality Meeting.
If So, Why So ?
The Warrant Officers of Her Majesty's Navy modestly make
known a grievance which seems, on the face of it, to demand redress.
While all the other officers in the Navy, when appointed by the
Admiralty to ships other than the First Beserve or those for foreign
service, are placed on f ull pay, more than half the Warrant Officers
are compelled to serve in the same ships on reduced pay, the reduc-
tion in some cases amounting to as much as £27 7s. 6d. per annum.
The late First Lord of the Admiralty admitted that inequalities did
exist, and declared he would see if they could be removed ; but this
act of justice has been delayed by his death. Fortunately, his suc-
cessor is a man of business, as well as a just and kindly gentleman.
The Warrant Officers may rest assured that so unwarrantable a
distinction will not be suffered to survive, after it has once been
brought to his notice. Let them prove to Mr. Smith that they are
as unfairly used as they allege, and he is just the man to strike
while the iron is hot, in the right way and to good effect.
A Very Sufficient Season.
Lord B. to his Gracious Sovereign, declining her flattering off'er of the Garter—
The wish I should wear the Garter please your Majesty abandon.
How can a man wear a Garter, who hasn't a leg to stand on ?
A Great Chancellor'sGbeatness.—A great Nation does not
merely hold its own. Besides that, it holds what it has cribbed
from others.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVAEI.
| February 9, 1878.
SWANS AND GEESE.
A few friendly words with the Society fir the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, d propos of their
latest prosecution.
ome people's Geese are
always Swans," So
runs
A proverb levelled at
the fussy ones.
And some well-mean-
ing- bodies in the
nation
Might take the saying1
for home-applica
OCCUPAtfDA EST JEGYPTXJS1
{Recommended to those Politicians
who abuse Russia, and insist on
our seizing Egypt.)
This spirited Eastern Policy
must have been suggested by a
page from the MS. Journal of a
Cornish Squire, in the last cen-
tury. It is as follows :—
" Sunday.—1o church. Storm of
wind and rain; heavy breakers on
reef outside. Parson was preachiEg
beautiful sermon on duty of praying
tion. for safety of tbose now in danger at
How chivalrous a mis- | sea, when a man came in, shouting,
sion may be marred J ' Wreck! Wreck !' There was a rush
By spurring the best Ito the door> evel7 one anxious to get
hobby - horse too ^is share of the good luck, when, our
hard ! worthy parson called out ' Stop a
Tf thp knie-hf-errant moment, my brethren! ' The solemn
ii T.ne Knignt errant, i tQneg of om, spiritual leader arrested
too mgh 10 MS j U8 all> and we waited, rather shame-
stirrups, stricken, for what he might have to
Like an o er pompous ; gay against the sin of wrecking. We
sparrow struts and ; saw his hands moving inside his
chirrups, gown ; then it was thrown off, and.
And tilts at pigmies, with a leap from the pulpit, he rushed
whilst the giants foremost through his congregation,
'scape him, | cryin£> ' Now for a fair start, boys I'"
The donkey's, not the —■
lion's, skin should
drape him. loquacity and legislation.
Giants abound, and Inter arma silent leges. That
Ogres grim and | may be ; but Legislators can talk
cruel, a plaguy deal in war-time.
More power to those who give such ghouls their gruel!— ._
But levelling lance at Lilliputian bogies,
Is not the work for paladins, but fogies. Hobson's Choice : Newest
Philanthropy found straining at a gnat, Cambridge Version.—The Senior
Foils its own higher purpose ' Verbum sat ! Wrangler, good luck to him!
AN ORIGINAL EARL.
Punch lately spoke of a certain speech of a certain Duke's as the
silliest thing that had yet been said on the Duke's side of the present
all-absorbing question. We beg leave to shift the cap from the head
of that distinguished Duke to that of an Earl who henceforth
deserves to be still more distinguished in the same order.
His Lordship in supporting an Amendment expressing confidence
in the Government, carried at a " Neutrality Meeting " at Bother-
ham, thus stated the reason of his fierce indignation against the
Bussians:—
"There is, and there was two years ago, a certain Captain Burnaby, a
man of great intelligence and power, a man whose time was not spent in
idleness, but whose time was tilled by useful and interesting occupation.
Captain Burnaby is a great traveller, and, what is more, he is such a great
linguist that he can Bpeak most of the European languages, many of them as
well as the natives. Captain Burnaby wished to travel, and see other parts
of the world besides his own. {A Voice—' And to advertise Cockle's Pills'
Great laughter.) He obtained the permission of the authorities under whom
he was placed, and he set out on his famous ride to Khiva. He was told,
' You will not be allowed to get into Khiva ;' but Captain Burnaby was not
a man to be turned back, and he said, ' I will go to Khiva,' and he went on
his celebrated ride. When he got to his journey's end he was told that he
must not return by the way he came. The llussian authorities knew too
well that Captain Burnaby was going to tell us something that they did not
wish us to know. Well, Captain Burnaby set his face to return to England,
and he came back, and I will tell you why : because Kussia at that moment
put her foot on the neck of Captain Burnaby' and of England too. (' Bosh !'
and1 It's true!' and loud and long-continued cheering, hooting, and dis-
order.) England's neck was most distinctly under the foot of Kussia; and it
is because of that I have come here to protest, and to say that your interests
and mine too have been attacked. {Loud and long-continued applause.)"
The present agitation has brought many wonderful "British
Interests" to light, but we are disposed to think "Captain Bur-
naby's neck" the oddest " British Interest" yet out. Considering
how rashly the gallant Captain has adventured it in his various
Bides, it is about the "riskiest" interest, we should say, that in-
surers ever undertook. But it has been reserved for Lord Frrz-
william to discover in Captain Burnaby's much-risked neck a
reason for shaking his fist in Bussia's face, if not for going to war
with her right off, which we will answer for it has not before
occurred to any other human being.
Our own distinguished Correspondent, whose Bide to Khiva across
these pages made such a sensation last year, is, he admits, for the
first time, jealous of the Captain, whose Bide he has outdone. He
puts it to Lord Fitzwilliam. What has he done that his shameful
treatment by the Bussian authorities, as recorded in these pages, and
since in the Beprint of his Bide (price one shilling), should not be
insisted upon among our casus belli against Bussia ?
The Captain wasn't nearly as ill-treated; as Our Correspondent;
didn't go through half as many exciting adventures, and above all,
as Our Correspondent points out, the Captain only rode to Khiva,
whereas Our Correspondent rode there and bach !
We decidedly recommend Our Correspondent to Earl Fitzwilliam
for his next " British Interest," when he has again to move a " con-
fidence " motion at a Neutrality Meeting.
If So, Why So ?
The Warrant Officers of Her Majesty's Navy modestly make
known a grievance which seems, on the face of it, to demand redress.
While all the other officers in the Navy, when appointed by the
Admiralty to ships other than the First Beserve or those for foreign
service, are placed on f ull pay, more than half the Warrant Officers
are compelled to serve in the same ships on reduced pay, the reduc-
tion in some cases amounting to as much as £27 7s. 6d. per annum.
The late First Lord of the Admiralty admitted that inequalities did
exist, and declared he would see if they could be removed ; but this
act of justice has been delayed by his death. Fortunately, his suc-
cessor is a man of business, as well as a just and kindly gentleman.
The Warrant Officers may rest assured that so unwarrantable a
distinction will not be suffered to survive, after it has once been
brought to his notice. Let them prove to Mr. Smith that they are
as unfairly used as they allege, and he is just the man to strike
while the iron is hot, in the right way and to good effect.
A Very Sufficient Season.
Lord B. to his Gracious Sovereign, declining her flattering off'er of the Garter—
The wish I should wear the Garter please your Majesty abandon.
How can a man wear a Garter, who hasn't a leg to stand on ?
A Great Chancellor'sGbeatness.—A great Nation does not
merely hold its own. Besides that, it holds what it has cribbed
from others.