Punch (77.1879)

September 20, 1879.J PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVAEI. 121

SUNDAY SWEETNESS AND LIGHT.

Y friends, one ounce of

example, we all know,
is worth a pound of pre-
cept. The Rector of St.
Mary's, Southampton—
heir of a large name—
has set not only his pa-
rishioners but his pro-
fession a pattern with
respect to the observance
of Sunday out of Church
hour s. Witne ss the fol-
lowing1 short and sweet
extract from the Times :

" Sunday Bands.—Ca-
non Basil Wilbeefoece
has allowed the use of St.
Mary's Kectory grounds,
Southampton, next Sun-
day, for the performance
of the Sunday afternoon
band."

Of course the music to
be performed on Canon
Wilbeefoece's premi-
ses on Sundays will be
music of a suitable sort.
The better the day, the
better the music. People
who go to hear it must not be disappointed with it if they find it exclusive of selections from
comic operas, of dance music, of Music-Hail music, and of all music especially adapted to
the taste of 'Aeey, and congenial to frivolity and foolish minds. It will, perhaps, even be
limited to that particular description of noble and lovely music specifically called sacred.
Nevertheless, bravo, Reverend Basil !

Truly, the better observance of Sunday is progressing. The Town Council of Belfast have
at last, after long contention, decided on opening public baths and wash-houses for three hours
on Sunday mornings. Some persons require to be told that cleanliness is next to godliness,
and ablution a suitable preparative for divine service. For the proposal to allow people in
Belfast to wash and be clean before going to church, was stoutly opposed. And there was
something to be said against it. Audi alteram partem. Hear, for instance, a reverend
gentleman of a name at least singularly suitable to the subject of debate, the Rev. Dr. Watts
—and would not his namesake, Dr. Watts the Greater, a native, by the bye, of Southampton,
and a logician as well as a bard and a divine, have very much applauded what Canon Wil-
beefoece has done there in the matter of Sunday bands ? Hear Dr. Watts the Less, before

the Belfast Town Council. In introducing an
anti-Sunday-baths-and-wash-houses depu-
tation, Dr. Watts argued at length against
the necessity of bathing on the Sabbath, and
in particular — according to the Northern
Whig—made the following avowal:

" Now, he did not see why it was necessary to
open public baths on the Sabbath morning; it
was not necessary for a man to bath himself every
morning. There were other days of the week
than the Sabbath on which baths could be had.
A man who got a bath twice a week was not badly
off. He would not occupy the time of the Corpo-
ration any longer."

In like manner reasoned other speakers
in the subsequent discussion. In particular
a Mr. MacGeagjh averred that

" He held, if they went on in this way, they
would have the Continental system before they
knew what they were about. He himself had a
bath in his own house, hot and cold, and since he
was born he never took a bath on the Sabbath
Day. {Laughter.) To take a bath on the Sab-
bath morning he would look upon as a very wrong
and improper thing, and he did n>>t sympathise
with those gentlemen that did. {Laughter, and
cries of ' Vote.'') He was sorry also that the
parks were open on the Sabbath Day."

Does the religion of Mr. MacGeagh
allow him to wash his hands on a Sunday ?
What is the utmost extent to which it
compels him to abjure cleanliness ? Of
course he and Dr. Watts, and the rest
of the Sunday unwashed Sabbatarians,
have the consistency of their opinions. Not
one of them cooks, or has cooked for him
any food whatsoever on Sunday; they each
and all eat their meals cold, and, since
carving is work, they limit themselves to
meat that requires none, and to dry bread,
because it is quite sufficient to sustain life
without butter, which necessitates the
labour of spreading. If any one of those
objectors to Sunday washing does not like
wise go the whole hog in respect of eating
and drinking, what a hypocrite and a
humbug he must be !

" IS LIFE WORTH LIVING ? "

When you are changed at your birth by your foster-mother, and
have to be contented with the status of a costermonger when in
reality you are the son of a Peer ?

When you are the " good boy " of the family, and yet by a cruel
arran gement of your brothers and sisters, get all the blame for their
mischief and none of the credit for your own virtuous deeds ?

When you are sent to a public school where you are fagged and
neglected, or to a private establishment where you are starved and
bullied ?

When you go to the University, join a third-rate College, belong
to a slow set, allow yourself to be called a "Squill," and yet are
ploughed for Smalls ?

When, loving from your childhood up the profession of arms with
all your heart and soul, you find yourself forced by circumstances to
accept a family living somewhere or other in Cumberland ?

When, naturally fond of retirement and much addicted to writing
pious tracts for children, you are compelled by the desires of your
father to accept a commission in a crack Cavalry regiment, where
bear-baiting is the rule and a quiet five minates the exception ?

When, loving one _ young Lady with everlasting devotion, you find
that by some bungling you have married her not too amiable nor
too beautiful sister P

When, having taken a house in town, you discover that it lies too
low, is too small for you, and that your wife insists upon living in
the country ?

When, having_ taken a house in the country, you discover that it
stands too high, is too large for you, and that your wife insists upon
living in town P

When, as a lawyer, you can't get clients, as a doctor lose all your
patients, or as an author see your novels " slated," and hear your
pieces hissed ?

When (most melancholy fate of all), finding yourself on a desert
island or on the top of the North Pole, you suddenly realise the fact
that in such a locality it will be next to impossible to secure the
current number of Punch f

SKELETONS IN THE CITY.

The Standard, in a paragraph under the heading of " Human
E-emains in the City," records the discovery made the other day by
some excavators while digging a hole in Cannon Street, of a number
of human skeletons entire, overlying a quantity of loose bones, and
states, in addition, that—

" Portions of an old pump, bearing date 1638, have also been found near
the same spot."

An old Pump ! The remains of an old Pump—whose were they ?
The poor old Pump might have been a Common Councilman, might
he not ? or a Macebearer ; or a Swordbearer ; or a K,emembrancer
or a Sheriff ; or an Alderman; or even a Lord Mayor P Where be
your feasts now ? your turtle, your venison ? your dishes of every
thing that anybody could wish to sit before ? Now get you to the
City Chamberlain, and tell him that let him be never such a jolly
old brick, to this favour he must come ; make him laugh at that!
The remains of a Pump ! An old Pump ! A poor old Pump that
shall never more raise water. Ah, well!

The Sole Reason.

It has been noticed that executioners in England are invariably
volunteers from the craft of shoemakers. This is not so very asto
nishing when it is remembered that cobblers would naturally have
a professional partiality for neople who decided "to die in their
boots! "

a charity eob quietists.

The operation of the Charity Organisation Society may be excel
lent in its way ; but is there not also room for the agency of a Charity
Disorganisation Society, to be established for the purpose of dis
organising the barrel organ-grinders ?

Subgeby in; Season".—Couching the skies for Cataract.

vol. lxx.yii.