Punch (77.1879)

168 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [October 11, 1879.

He was still lying on the sand, weeping bitterly. Seeing the acci-
dent, he roused himself.

" I nrast do my duty," he murmured, and blew his horn.

Then there was a cry for him to come into the water. He shook his
head. An Englishman begged him to enter the sea—up to his knees.
He shook his head disdainfully.

Then the Mayor and the Municipality advanced. " You will enter
the sea ? " they asked.

" No," he replied. "I cannot."

Then the Mayor and the Municipality held a consultation. After

an hour thev asked him a second question—
" Why will you not enter the sea ? "

He answered promptly, If I enter the sea, my boots will become
damp. Damp will damage my boots. I do not wish to damage my
boots."

A second time they held a consultation. It was longer than the
first. When it was over, they asked him a third question—
" And why do you not wish to damage your boots ? "
" Because my boots belong to France ! Long live France !"
And they all cried, " Long live France ! " and went home.

S1

OUR REPRESENTATIVE MAN.

Prince of Wales's—St. James's—Lyceum—Gaiety—Vaudeville—
and " Rescued" at the Adelphi.

! ie,—All the _ theatres
are joining in chorus
of 'Tis our opening
day," so I must be on the
spot. Where Duty calls
there is Yours truly.

Bancroft expects that

every man
Some day will do his Duty.

And, if Duty is to come
before pleasure, then the
sooner it 's got over the
better. Imbued with
this sentiment, I went to
the Albery-Sardou play;
and, for the present, I
will merely say of Duty,
that it is "All berry
well;" and, for some peo-
ple, it is-ar-du-ty to see
it. As might be ex-
pected, where the autho-
rities put on a Duty,
there is a good deal that
might be advantageously
excised. I will return to
the subject next week,
only remarking, en at-
tendant,'that this new Duty, at the fashionable-custom-house, is not
by any means an unwarrantable imposition. That Les Bancroft
should not be in it is a mistake, for without their joint names to a bill,
in this particular quarter, its chances of being cashed are consider-
ably lessened. Still, undoubtedly there is value received, and care,
time, trouble, and expenditure will be more than their own reward.

Messrs. Hare and Kendal have opened the Theatre that is
dedicated to St. James—clearly a union of Church and Stage. As a
good beginning, it is done brown outside, and has been thoroughly
done up within. Rajah Val Prinsep's Comedietta is the novelty, of
which more anon.

Mr. Irving is giving us deep notes out of his Iron Chest, and
Mrs. Bateman opens the Family Theatre, with a Family Circle at
reasonable prices, in Phelps's old home, Sadler's Wells. May
the new Lessee find nothing but wells and no ills. Why
the Wells of the Sadlers, with an additional "d"—a little one
in. not a " great big Z) "—should never have been appropriately
taken as a circus I can't make out, except that it is true you may
take your horses to the Wells, but you can't make 'em draw,—or,
rather, can't make 'em Drink,—but then Drink is dl-readey at the
Princess's, which leans on a Reade as strong as an oak. Mrs. Bate-
man must have one performance under the patronage of the Saddlers'
Guild, and then all Saddler Swells will appear in the stalls.

As the Gaiety shows us Nellie Farren, Messrs. Royce and Elton
on horseback, it is evident that The Grand Casirnir is well
mounted. On the first night, Miss Farren so thoroughly entered
into the equestrian spirit of the piece, that, from sheer nervousness,
when she came to her songs, she found herself a little hoarse.

Mr. Edward Terry is gorgeous as the Lion Tamer, and Mr. Sotjtar
as the Corsican Galetti, proves once more that nothing is out of his
reach—not even a top note ; so that the old proverb, " iVe Sotjtar

ultra crepidam" doesn't apply to him. In the Circus Assistants
there is the usual Gaiety Gal-axy of beauty and musical talent.
" Galaxy " must not be pronounced Gal-laxy.

Two Roses_ are blooming at the Vaudeville ; and The Domestics
keep the audience in a roar till eleven.

Next door, at the Adelphi, the Messrs. Gatti have got a sort of
London-Journal-Adelphi Drama in Mr. Bottcicatjlt's Rescued. So
strong a cast for a Melodrama can be seen nowhere else, here, or in
Paris. Messrs. Henry Neville, Fernandez, Hermann Vezin,
J. G. Taylor, with Misses Pateman, Ltdia Foote, Lotjise Moodie,
Maria Harris, Emily Duncan, and Clara Jecks, are " all in it."

What the story precisely is I am unable to say; but Jack
Weatherby has invented a swing-bridge, and is only half a chap
after all, being half the heir to some property, to which a small boy
is the other half heir, while Count Rukov, a sort of Robert Macaire,
with his Jacques Strop, in Widdicoff—so like the Russian for WlD-
dicomb—are the two villains who do everything that's bad, for the
sake of getting something good, and are foiled in the end,—which
sounds like being thoroughly case-hardened villains,—by an Irish
Obstructive or Detective,—who never detects anything until the
villain absolutely discovers himself,—an amiable lawyer, called,
very originally, Mr. Manifold, and three comic personages, one of
whom is Jerry Tarbox, which, like the aforesaid Mr. Manifold, is
an example of a good old style of dramatic nomenclature, reminding
us of Policeman, Mr. Bobby ; Dentist, Mr. Drawer ; Sweep, Mr.
Blackie, in the Comic Scene of a Christmas Pantomime.

It is excellently acted, and capitally put on the stage. The
Sensation Scene of the swing-bridge, and the passing of the train,
is admirably managed, and as an effect alone is sufficient for the
success of this class of piece. The audience seemed to take the train
enthusiastically. The Scene should be described in the Bill as
" written expressly for the Adelphi."

The affectionate interest displayed by the resplendent Jeameses, in
white Berlin gloves, and housemaids of Mount Audley in the misfor-
tunes of their master,—the Earl of Mount Audley\ who in his frock-
coat, top-hat, and irreproachable trowsers, might have walked out of
one of the illustrations of a tale in The London Journal,—-is deeply
touching—though, perhaps, in ordinary life, if private family affairs
were being discussed on the lawn, between the master of the house,
on the one part, and a lawyer and his client, on the other, the sudden
appearance of the entire household, listening with breathless interest
to the legal difficulties into which their master found himself unex-
pectedly plunged, would lead to their being peremptorily ordered
back again to mind their own business in the servants' hall, or even
to their being dismissed en masse for their unwarrantable imper-
tinence. Such, however, at the Adelphi, is not the view taken of
the conduct of bis domestics by the kind-hearted but weak elderly
nobleman, the Earl of Mount Audley's Secret, who seems to have a
very dis-audley set of servants.

There is a rather pathetic though utterly improbable under-plot, of
which Miss Lydia Foote and Miss Louise Moodie are the heroines,
and altogether the alternation of light and shade, the chivalric
bearing of Mr. Neville, the sympathetic acting of Miss Pateman,
and Mr. Vezin's forcible impersonation of the double-tongue'd
villain, ought, with the Sensation Scene, to insure a considerable
run for the Adelphi Drama of Rescued.

That's enough for this week, except one word to the Messrs. Gatti
—Do lower your orchestra, not reduce them, but lower them, or let
them disappear entirely under the stage. Mr. W. C. Levy is a first-
rate man for the place, and his melodramatic music illustrative of
the situations is excellent—but he is like the " sweet little cherub"
in the old nautical ballad, "perched up aloft," where—the illustra-
tion of the "little cherub "no longer holding good—he intercepts
the view of the stage, just at every critical moment when the
unfortunately-placed and deeply-interested spectator, in the stall
behind, wants to follow with his eyes every detail of the action.
When nothing particular is going on, that is, when the business of
the scene is uninteresting, then the Conductor and most of the band
wisely disappear ; but, the instant that something exciting is about
to happen, back they all come again, and, as the chief actor in the
situation is invariably in the centre, he or she, is, at once and com-
pletely, lost to the view of at least the above-mentioned provokingly-
placed occupant, who has to dodge his head right and left, much to
the inconvenience of his neighbours, in order to see what is going on.
That's all. It's of no consequence perhaps, but it's worth men-
tioning, when even at musical houses, where they should be to the
fore, musicians are disappearing from view, unlike good boys, to be
heard and not seen by Your Representative.

the worst of farming.

Whatever some Farmers may think of Protection as a remedy for
Agrictdtural Distress, others are evidently decided anti-Protec-
tionists—the Baby Farmers, whose farming would be utterly spoiled
if due Protection were secured for Babies.

SS" To Cobbesfohdiotts.—The Editor does not hold hvnself bound to acknowledge, return, or pay for Contributions. In no case can these be returned unless accompanied by a

stamped and directed envelope. Copies should be kept.