Punch (86.1884)

January 5, 1884.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

TEMPUS FUG1T; OR, TIME GOING IT FASTER THAN EVER l

A True Story.—On. Christmas Eve a well-known Low Comedian
.Philanthropic tendencies gave a tea-party to one hundred poor
children. In order to ensure the absence of uninvited guests, a
trusty Cerberus was placed at the door to verify credentials. Pre-
sently there arrived a youth of some _ seven Christmases, who was
unknown to the watchdog. The following conversation then ensued:
T VTat ’s your name, my little fellow?” A. “Tommy.”
p- What’s your surname?” A. “Dunno.” Q. “What’s your
tathers name?” A. “Dunno.” Q. “Well, what does your
mother call your father?” A, {promptly). “A drunken beast!”
Placed at the head of the table.

Overheard outside the Lark Club on the night of a police foray:—
“Deuced hard lines, wasn’t it, dear old Chappie, that we couldn’t
finish the game ? ” “I believe you, dear Boy ; but the hardest lines
of all were that you had my ready-money sovereign, and /’ve got
several monkey’s worth of I.O.U.’s. Toss you double or quits ! ”

A Secret Society of Grocers’ Men, formed for the purpose of rob-
bing employers, has been discovered in Hew York. We hear nothing'
of the Secret Society of Grocers, formed for robbing the public.
Wooden nutmegs could not have been an American invention.