DOI Heft:
April 12, 1884
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17756#0175
April ia 1884.J PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
169
SPORT.
By Dumb-Crambo Junior.
sjt %
m cm
A Jumping Race. A Dark Three-Tear-Old. Landing the Stakes.
Too-too One, Bar One. A Promising Outsider. Pulling oft' the Handicap.
THE FASHION ABLE FLOWER.
A DATTODIL IDYL.
Let it be as Fashion, wills—
In the Park, or in the Row—
Nothing wear but Daffodils !
In the valley, on the hills,
In the street, where’er yon go—
Let it be as Fashion wills.
Though the East wind blights and chills,
Though we think of frost and snow,
Nothing wear but Daffodils !
Little girls in frocks and frills,
As they scamper to and fro,
Let it be as Fashion wills.
Maids in ginghams, silks and twills—
Mary, Nina, Nellie, Flo—
Nothing wear but Daffodils !
Pleedless of the Florist’s hills,
Thoughtless of the sum you owe—
Let it be as Fashion wills,
Nothing wear but Daffodils !
“Strike, but Hear!”
We thought the days when the “quality” protected
itself with paid bruisers was past. If so, what is the
meaning of the following advertisement in the Daily
News t—
QMITH’S STRIKER, &c., wants JOB. Alyl. hour. Two
O years at trade. Age 19.
Or there ’s another view of it. Who ’s “ Job ” ? Job
will need all the patriarch’s patience to stand being
struck by Smith’s Striker at 4Id. an hour.
The Premier’s Song.—“ There’s no place like Coombe ! ”
POR SOCIETY'S SAKE.
The following advertisement from the Times is almost touching in
its earnestness :—
THOR SOCIETY’S SAKE. — A Lady and Gentleman with a small,
-I- beautifully-furnished house, are open to RECEIVE another MARRIED
COUPLE, on moderate terms. Near Holland Park.—Address, &c.
It suggests two people being utterly weary of one another, and
yearning for sensible society, when the honeymoon has waned. It
ought to have been made into a poem. Thus—
’Tis odd, when two people each other adore,
That each finds the other sometimes is a bore !
When very much married for better or worse,
To change for the better they ’re seldom averse !
From honeymoon dreaming they suddenly wake,
And welcome the world “for society’s sake ” !
We sometimes feel dull, so we ’re willing to share
The mansion we ’ve furnished with taste and with care ;
’Tis bright and ’tis pleasant, and near Holland Park,
Its aspect is cheerful from daylight to dark !
And a nice married couple we ’re willing to take,
On moderate terms, “ for society’s sake ” !
If we have the luck, and we chance to entice
A couple to dwell in our sweet Paradise,
Its joys and its pleasures they ’ll eiuickly restore,
When boredom and bliss are divided by four !
A moderate offer we ’re willing to make,
And sacrifice much “ for society’s sake ” !
Easter Cards and Easter Eggs.—Some beautiful specimens of
the latter from the nest of the Sparrow—no, Sparagnapane—have
arrived at our office quite safely ; all fresh ; but, to our taste, these
Eggs are overdone. Also some quite too too-too Easter Cards, with-
out any name and address (except Mr. Punch's) on them. Where
they came from we don’t know; where they are going to we do.
v ery charming ; hut aren’t the Christmas Cards more than enough ?
and can’t somebody invent an entire novelty? At all events “No
Cards.”
SOME “CHARLES THE FIRST'S HEAPS.'’
“ Mr. Pick complained that he could not keep Charles the First’s
Head out of his memorial.”—David Copperjidd.
Mr. Ashmead Bartlett.—“ The Russian Advance in Merv.”
Mr. Joseph Biggar’Ear, ’ear! ”
Mr. J. L. Toole.- “ My friends Mr. Irving and Mr. Sims Reeves.”
Mr. Irving“ My friends Mr. Toole and Mr. Sms Reeves.”
Mr. Sims Reeves.—“ My friends Mr. Irving and Mr. Toole.”
Mr. Chaplin.—“ Cattle Disease.”
Mr. Bradlaugh.—“ My seat.”
Mr. Jlol/ingshead.— ‘‘ Bricked-up Exits.”
Mr. A. C. Swinburne.—“ Victor Hugo.”
Mr. Victor lingo.—“ Moi-meme ! ”
Lord Randolph Churchill.—“ Mr. Gladstone.”
Lord Wolseley.—“ Short Service.”
The Lord Chief Justice.—“ I have heard of and seen nobody.”
Mr. Howard Vincent.—“ Suicide, not Murder.”
Sir Wilfrid Laivson.—“ Both Cain and the Serpent were Licensed
Victuallers.”
Mr. Pinero.—“ An Organised Opposition.”
Sir IL. D. Drummond Wolff.—“ The Protection of England.”
Lord Tennyson.—“ Where are my clothes ?”
Rev. Canon Wilberforce.—“ Cold Water.”
Miss Mary Anderson“ Single Bliss.”
Mr. Edward Lawson.—“ The largest circulation.”
The Marquis of Queensberry.—“ Open Ditches.”
Mr. Robert Browning.—“ Professor Jowett.”
Sir Andrew Clarke.—“ Light Claret and Water.”
Mr. Archibald Forbes.—“ My old Soldier Blood.”
Mr. Augustus Harris.—“ Ac theatre, c'est moil ”
Mr. J. M. Whistler.—“Advertisement.”
BRIGHT IDEAS AT THE BOAT-RACE.
A Boat is something like a Cat—yrou will not get on with it if you
“ stroke ” it the wrong wayr. It is also an illustration (which would
have pleased Sir Bertinax MacSycophant himself) of the advantage
of politeness, as nothing is more conducive to its advance than an
adroit “ how.”
169
SPORT.
By Dumb-Crambo Junior.
sjt %
m cm
A Jumping Race. A Dark Three-Tear-Old. Landing the Stakes.
Too-too One, Bar One. A Promising Outsider. Pulling oft' the Handicap.
THE FASHION ABLE FLOWER.
A DATTODIL IDYL.
Let it be as Fashion, wills—
In the Park, or in the Row—
Nothing wear but Daffodils !
In the valley, on the hills,
In the street, where’er yon go—
Let it be as Fashion wills.
Though the East wind blights and chills,
Though we think of frost and snow,
Nothing wear but Daffodils !
Little girls in frocks and frills,
As they scamper to and fro,
Let it be as Fashion wills.
Maids in ginghams, silks and twills—
Mary, Nina, Nellie, Flo—
Nothing wear but Daffodils !
Pleedless of the Florist’s hills,
Thoughtless of the sum you owe—
Let it be as Fashion wills,
Nothing wear but Daffodils !
“Strike, but Hear!”
We thought the days when the “quality” protected
itself with paid bruisers was past. If so, what is the
meaning of the following advertisement in the Daily
News t—
QMITH’S STRIKER, &c., wants JOB. Alyl. hour. Two
O years at trade. Age 19.
Or there ’s another view of it. Who ’s “ Job ” ? Job
will need all the patriarch’s patience to stand being
struck by Smith’s Striker at 4Id. an hour.
The Premier’s Song.—“ There’s no place like Coombe ! ”
POR SOCIETY'S SAKE.
The following advertisement from the Times is almost touching in
its earnestness :—
THOR SOCIETY’S SAKE. — A Lady and Gentleman with a small,
-I- beautifully-furnished house, are open to RECEIVE another MARRIED
COUPLE, on moderate terms. Near Holland Park.—Address, &c.
It suggests two people being utterly weary of one another, and
yearning for sensible society, when the honeymoon has waned. It
ought to have been made into a poem. Thus—
’Tis odd, when two people each other adore,
That each finds the other sometimes is a bore !
When very much married for better or worse,
To change for the better they ’re seldom averse !
From honeymoon dreaming they suddenly wake,
And welcome the world “for society’s sake ” !
We sometimes feel dull, so we ’re willing to share
The mansion we ’ve furnished with taste and with care ;
’Tis bright and ’tis pleasant, and near Holland Park,
Its aspect is cheerful from daylight to dark !
And a nice married couple we ’re willing to take,
On moderate terms, “ for society’s sake ” !
If we have the luck, and we chance to entice
A couple to dwell in our sweet Paradise,
Its joys and its pleasures they ’ll eiuickly restore,
When boredom and bliss are divided by four !
A moderate offer we ’re willing to make,
And sacrifice much “ for society’s sake ” !
Easter Cards and Easter Eggs.—Some beautiful specimens of
the latter from the nest of the Sparrow—no, Sparagnapane—have
arrived at our office quite safely ; all fresh ; but, to our taste, these
Eggs are overdone. Also some quite too too-too Easter Cards, with-
out any name and address (except Mr. Punch's) on them. Where
they came from we don’t know; where they are going to we do.
v ery charming ; hut aren’t the Christmas Cards more than enough ?
and can’t somebody invent an entire novelty? At all events “No
Cards.”
SOME “CHARLES THE FIRST'S HEAPS.'’
“ Mr. Pick complained that he could not keep Charles the First’s
Head out of his memorial.”—David Copperjidd.
Mr. Ashmead Bartlett.—“ The Russian Advance in Merv.”
Mr. Joseph Biggar’Ear, ’ear! ”
Mr. J. L. Toole.- “ My friends Mr. Irving and Mr. Sims Reeves.”
Mr. Irving“ My friends Mr. Toole and Mr. Sms Reeves.”
Mr. Sims Reeves.—“ My friends Mr. Irving and Mr. Toole.”
Mr. Chaplin.—“ Cattle Disease.”
Mr. Bradlaugh.—“ My seat.”
Mr. Jlol/ingshead.— ‘‘ Bricked-up Exits.”
Mr. A. C. Swinburne.—“ Victor Hugo.”
Mr. Victor lingo.—“ Moi-meme ! ”
Lord Randolph Churchill.—“ Mr. Gladstone.”
Lord Wolseley.—“ Short Service.”
The Lord Chief Justice.—“ I have heard of and seen nobody.”
Mr. Howard Vincent.—“ Suicide, not Murder.”
Sir Wilfrid Laivson.—“ Both Cain and the Serpent were Licensed
Victuallers.”
Mr. Pinero.—“ An Organised Opposition.”
Sir IL. D. Drummond Wolff.—“ The Protection of England.”
Lord Tennyson.—“ Where are my clothes ?”
Rev. Canon Wilberforce.—“ Cold Water.”
Miss Mary Anderson“ Single Bliss.”
Mr. Edward Lawson.—“ The largest circulation.”
The Marquis of Queensberry.—“ Open Ditches.”
Mr. Robert Browning.—“ Professor Jowett.”
Sir Andrew Clarke.—“ Light Claret and Water.”
Mr. Archibald Forbes.—“ My old Soldier Blood.”
Mr. Augustus Harris.—“ Ac theatre, c'est moil ”
Mr. J. M. Whistler.—“Advertisement.”
BRIGHT IDEAS AT THE BOAT-RACE.
A Boat is something like a Cat—yrou will not get on with it if you
“ stroke ” it the wrong wayr. It is also an illustration (which would
have pleased Sir Bertinax MacSycophant himself) of the advantage
of politeness, as nothing is more conducive to its advance than an
adroit “ how.”