Punch (86.1884)

April 26, 1884.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

193

ROYAL ACADEMICIANS

Arrayed by Dumb-Crambo Junior.

Taddy, Ma !

Lon? and ’Chv less.

Cauldron.

'What’s Pointer Marks ? Bar.-lov

Vv Cat-Coal ?

To Scotland Yard.—Duly appreciating Police Diligence in Dyna-
’.nite Detection, the Public would be glad to bear of the discovery of
the perpetrators of the Newington, Burton Crescent, and Arthur
Street, City, Murders. What’s doing 5

0

BORN, 1834.

lames

DIED, APRIL 12, 1884.

Whim without phrensy, wit without offence,

On the world’s stage are welcome, as on that
Behind the footlights ! Sharp and solid sense
As ever in the Councillor’s ermine sat,

Combined with what the gayest motley covers,

Bright mockery, quaint conceit, and word-play wild,
Mingled in him, most loyal of Stage-lovers,

Whose spirit, caustic yet unvenomed, mild,'

Bore tartness as the luscious damask rose
Bears its subacid pungency. Men saw
In him no parasite of rank ; he ’d pose
As no allowed stiff-strutting social daw.

Weaver of gay word-whimsies, wearer too
Of the right comic mask but seldom donned,

His coarse-husked tender cockney tradesman drew
The Town for years. Not his the reach beyond
To life’s perennial laughter-spring, perchance,

Tapped by so few ; but Middlewick may stand
Against a hundred puppets cribbed from France.

The ancient comrades who have held his hand,

And heard his swift-sprung, mad, spontaneous quips,
Will sorrow to remember that no more
Their like may roll from Harry Byron’s lips
This side the Solemn Shore.

RETIRING EROM THE RESCUE ;

OR, WHAT IT MAY COME TO.

No. 1.

{Precis of Correspondence dated March last.)

British Government to British Hero.—Danger imminent that the
Mahdi overrunning the Soudan in great force will invade the Delta
and involve us in serious complications. Hear that you are the man
to get us out of the scrape. Will you take full powers and start at

once ?

British Hero to British Government.—Done! I’m off.

No. 2. (Later.)

British Government to British Hero.—Io Triumphe! Your
promptitude, energy, and really remarkable spirit have been beyond,
all praise. Managing the whole thing, too, with one camel! Doesn’t
even touch the Estimates ! Capital! The effect, too, you have pro-
duced is electric. Almost saved us ! Fact! we ’re nearly out of our
hobble.

British Hero to British Government.—Glad to hear it.

No. 3. (A Little Later.)

British Government to British Hero.—Safe as anything. Graham
has managed it all to a T. Glorious! Everybody satisfied. How are
you ?

British Hero to British Government—Comfortable—but sur-
rounded !

No. 4. (Still Later.)

British Government to British Hero.— Glad to hear you are com-
fortable. We are, very. Everything quite swimming! Clear
Majority of 130. Sorry, though, to hear you are surrounded, because
people will ask such nasty questions about it. Fact is, you never
should have gone out. All your own doing, you know. Bat do tell
us if you really mind bein? left to get back how you can ?

British Hero to British Government.—“Mind it ” i—not in the
least! Why should 11

No. 5. (Latest.)

British Government to British Hero.—Just so ! Why should you ?
We knew what you would say ? But pray- don’t mind us. Come
home, of course, whenever you like!

British Piero to British Government.—Thanks. You’re too kind !

No. 6. (Supplement—as yet unanswered.)

British Government to British Hero.—Not at all. Don’t mention
it! {N.B.—For still further particulars wait the march of events.)

Soudan Thoughts. —The Soudan was some little time ago declared
to he “ beyond the sphere of British intervention.” Somehow it
seems to be “within the range of practical politics.” _ Our Own Job-
ber say’s that England’s financial action in Egypt is simply John
“ Bulling” and Evelyn “ Baring.”