Punch (86.1884)

1884.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

61

VERY TRYING.

A Record of a few Trials of Patience.
No V.—Lords and Commons.

A Good Judge too.

Lord Peter Beauchamp Majoribanks Chol-
mondeley Waterloo Rhodes, aged twenty, was
charged, on a warrant, before Mr. Tort Spen-
low, the sitting Magistrate, with obtaining,
by false and fraudulent pretences, the sum of
five thousand pounds from Samuel Isaac Jacob
Moss, a Financial Agent, of Tottenham Court
Road. The case created much interest. The
Court was densely crowded, and amongst the
distinguished persons who occupied seats on the
Bench, were Lord Alfred Patchit, Sir
Thomas Winks, and Mr. G-lllie Garrick.

Mr. J. P. Corn, instructed by his brother-in-law, Mr. Poohphries,
conducted the prosecution, and Mr. Lewis
George appeared for his Lordship.

Mr. George asked his Worship if Lord
Waterloo Rhodes might be accommodated
with a seat on the Bench.

Mr. Tory Spenlow (the Magistrate). I am
afraid I cannot quite accede to that request.

Its refusal, I am certain, his Lordship will
quite understand. If Lord Waterloo
Rhodes had been summoned on a trivial
offence, I should have been pleased to have
given him a seat beside me. But his Lord-
ship is charged, on a warrant, with fraud—
and it is against all regulation for gaolers to
he seated on the Bench; and, as Lord
Rhodes is at present in their custody, I
could not invite one without the others.

The matter then dropped.

Mr. J. P. Corn, addressing his Worship,
said: I must, Sir, before opening the case
for the prosecution, ask your protection with
I regard to repeated annoyances to which I
have been subjected this morning. I have
received, since I have been in Court, ten
notes, asking me if I am any relation to
Mr. Grainey Corn, the popular entertainer.

Of course, I do not deny that he is my
brother—I will even go further, and admit
I see considerable merit m his performances.

But I object—I strongly object to be known
only as “ the brother of Grainey Corn.”

I have conducted many notorious prosecutions

“ I tell ’em my brother’s

a Marquis.”

getting many notorious criminals-

Georgium Sidus.

I have succeeded in
Mr. Leivis George (in-
terrupting). Convicted.

Mr. J. P. Corn. I must
object to being inter-
rupted by Mr. George in
this manner.

The matter then drop-
ped.

Mr. Lewis George
said: I think, if your
Worship will permit me,
I can save a deal of
public time. His Lord-
ship has been guilty of
no fraud. A little mis-
take has been made,

Mr. J. P. Corn. Really,
your Worship, this is
most irregular. Mr.
Lewis George com-
mences with his defence
before I have even had

the opportunity-

Mr. Tory Spenlow
(the Magistrate), I think
Mr. Lewis George is
only about to make a
preliminary application
respecting Lord Peter,
which I think I must
hear.

The matter then drop-
ped.

Mr. Lewis George. I was about to observe, your Worship, when I
Was rudely interrupted by Mr. Grainey Corn’s brother—(laughter)—

that the prosecution having advanced his Lordship five thousand
pounds upon certain property-

Mr. J. P. Corn. Which his Lordship never possessed.

Mr. Leivis George. Really, Mr. Corn, you mustn’t interrupt me
like this. I repeat—advanced his Lordship five thousand pounds-
upon certain property which he shortly will possess.

Mr. J. P. Corn. That’s the question.

Mr. Lewis George. Pardon me, there’s no question about it. No
doubt your Client, Mr. S. I. J. Moss, Financial Agent, of Tottenham
Court Road-

Mr. J. P. Corn. I notice Mr. Lewis George always sneers at
Clients beneath the dignity of Miscount.

Mr. Lewis George. These interruptions are most unseemly. They
would do very well in one of your brother’s entertainments, but they
are out of place in a Court of Justice. To proceed: Mr. Moss
naturally wants his money—he shall have it.

Mr. j. P. Corn. Upon what authority do you make that statement?

Mr. Lewis George. My own word ought to be sufficient, but (I
did not wish to mention it) I happened to meet at dinner, last night,
not only his Lordship’s elder brother, the Marquis, but his father,
the Duke of Strand, and from what they said to me (in confidence)
I can assure the Financial Agent that he shall have his money.

The Prosecutor stepped into the box, and said, if he had the money
at once, he would withdraw the charge.

After a short consultation with his Lordship, Mr. Lewis George
said : I happen to have my cheque-book by me, and, in order to save
time and satisf j the Financial Agent—my principal desire—I will
write out a cheque for five thousand pounds myself.

Mr. Tory Spenlow said he never did approve of compounding a
felony, but the case of his Lordship was evidently different, and he
would therefore dismiss the case.—The matter then dropped.

Later in the day, Mr. Lewis George appeared before Mr. Whigly
Jorkins (who had relieved Mr. Tory Spenlow) to defend the Earl of
Datchet, who was summoned for
wilfully blocking up the corner of
Hamilton Place, Hyde Park, with a
phaeton.

Mr. Whigly Jorkins (the Magis-
trate). Where ’s the Defendant ?

Mr. Lewis George. He is beside
your Worship, on the Bench. You
have just shaken hands with him.

Mr. Whigly Jorkins. Oh! Who
put him there?

Mr. Lewis George. According to
the courtesy--

Mr. Whigly Jorkins. I dare say.

The Defendant must take his place
in the summoning Dock. The Defen-
dant was accordingly removed.

The matter then dropped.

A Constable having given evidence
as to the alleged obstruction, Mr.

Whigly Jorkins asked if there was
any defence ?

Mr. Lewis George. His Lordship
was not aware, Sir, that he had done
wrong.

Mr. Whigly Jorkins. I will not
insult the noble Earl’s intelligence
for one moment, by believing that
he thought he was doing right. Five
days.

Mr. Lewis George. Surely, you would not imprison his Lordship ?

Mr. Whigly Jorkins. I can only line him about twenty shillings,
and what punishment is that ? Five days !

The Earl of Datchet.

Police Courtiers.

The Earl of Datchet and Mr. Lewis George were carried fainting
from the Court. The matter then dropped.