DOI Heft:
January 5, 1884
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17756#0020
12
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[January 5, 1884.
THUMB-NAIL SUMMARY FOR 1884.
(By our oivn A larmist.)
January.
New Bankruptcy Law comes into force.
Five of the London, Chatham, and Dover Company’s packets go
down in mid-Channel, due to overcrowding by absconding Trustees.
Mr. Chamberlain applies to the Lord Mayor for protection, on
receiving an anonymous threatening letter signed “Threepence-
Halfpenny in the Pound.”
Several Provincial Official Receivers come up to London, and,
under pressure from overwork, attempt with partial success to
jump off the top of Queen Anne’s Mansions.
Mr. Justice Cave goes into hysterics on the Bench, and resigns.
February.
The Irish Party arrive in town and dine together, with sealed
doors, in an underground cellar in Whitechapel.
Parliament opens amid a scene of indescribable excitement, and,
on hearing the news, shuts the same afternoon.
Rumour in the Clubs that Mr. Bradlaugh has taken advantage of
the confusion to kidnap Captain Gosset.
Mr. Parnell, being requested by a deputation by both Houses
“ to allow public business to proceed just for an hour or two,” per-
emptorily refuses, and spends the evening in State at Madame
Tussaud’s, paying his own admission amidst an ovation.
After a stormy meeting of the Cabinet Council, during which three
recalcitrant members are ejected from the room by the window, the
Ministry decide — by a majority of one—to grant Home Rule to
Ireland.
Fireworks in Seven Dials. Prominent members of the National
Party leave quietly for New York, disguised, in batches of two and
three at a time the next morning.
Lord Spencer arrives at Liverpool as a stowaway, and is received
coldly by the Mayor. Three per cents, firm at ll(i
March.
The Municipal Reform Bills are all passed without a division at a
Wednesday Morning’s sitting.
Riots at the Mansion House.
Renewed riots at the Mansion House.
Sir Robert Carden, followed by all the Aldermen on both sides of
'the Chair, the Lord Mayor, the City Remembrancer, Common
Serjeant, Deputy Registrar, and twenty-nine of the Livery Com-
panies assemble in Palace Yard, and, again renewing the riots com-
menced at the Mansion House, are removed to the Tower, and shown
the next day for an extra fee of sixpence together with the Crown
jewels.
Great rejoicings in the City, during which a Real Turtle Salesman
is torn to pieces by mistake.
April.
Return of Theatrical Stars from America.
Mr. Irving welcomed by the entire Channel Squadron off Bantry
Bay, received with a salute of one hundred and four guns at several
stations on his way to Town, and made a Duke on his arrival at
Euston Square.
An indignation meeting of Actors, held the next morning in Hyde
Park, condemns the limited character of the honour as “an insult to
the Profession.”
The Premier, after taking advice of a distinguished artistic
judicial authority, counsels Her Majesty to create one hundred and
thirty-six Theatrical Peers.
Simultaneous production of twenty-two original five-act pieces by
Cabinet Ministers, at leading West-End Theatres.
Great reaction in public feeling. Three Dowager Duchesses play-
ing the Three Witches in Macbeth at Newhaven Theatre, are hooted
, off the Stage amid a shower of oyster-shells.
May.
Health Exhibition, opens with display of coloured lamps and
dance-music. During the progress of the inaugural ceremony, three
Sanitary Inspectors go up in a fire balloon and are never heard
of again.
Italian, German, Chinese, Patagonian, and Central African Opera
installed respectively with great social eclat at Covent Garden, Her
Majesty’s, the new Embankment Academy, Drury Lane, and the
Agricultural Hall, Islington. Great rush for places, during which two
highly respected Theatrical Librarians of Bond Street are crushed to
death.
Mr. Carl Rosa, together with five English native Composers and a
powerful company of English Artists, sails for the South Pole in the
hope of establishing, for the benefit of a really cultivated and musical
people, a permanent English National Opera on a satisfactory,
sound, and encouraging basis.
June.
The Eton and Harrow Match played at Lord’s with the new
narrow regulation bats, the result being that the four innings are all
finished in three-quarters of an hour, whereupon the Committee Room
of the Marylebone Club is unroofed, and all the Members discovered
hiding about the grounds, tossed in the side of a Refreshment Tent
by the contending Elevens. _
Commemoration week at Oxford. Honorary degrees conferred on
all the Clowns taking part in the preceding Christmas Pantomimes
amidst a scene of ’wild enthusiasm.
July.
Newly elected Parliament meets for the first time, and commences
a campaign of active legislative reform by abolishing the Speaker.
The “ Payment of. Members Bill,” involving a State income of
£2000 a year, the right to a stall at West End Theatres on first
nights, family railway tourist-tickets during the summer season,
and free dining for self and friend at the Holborn Restaurant while
Parliament is in Session, carried without a division.
The “ Payment of Members Bill,” being thrown out by the Peers,
the House of Lords is abolished by a short comprehensive Act,
framed for the purpose, in one sitting.
Much aristocratic distress prevails towards the end of the month,
and gangs of hungry Peers infesting the public thoroughfares are
prosecuted daily by the Secretary of the Charity Organisation Society,
and ultimately shipped to a Coral Island in the Pacific.
August.
Humanitarian shooting by chloroform commences.
Departure of English notabilities for the Annual American
“ Starring Tour.” The Archbishop of Canterbury, accompanied by
both Houses of Convocation, the Duke of Cambridge, a large staff of
War Office Officials, and several Members of the Cabinet, arrive,
under the charge of the Proprietor of the Elephant and Castle, at
New York, and are entertained by Mr. Yanderbilt with princely
splendour at his mansion in Fifth Avenue for the inside of an after-
noon, and return by the next packet.
Public traffic commences on the Parks Railway, when, owing to
the thinness of the tunnel roof, the first train runs through it into
Rotten Row, and frightens the horse of Mr. T. G. Bowles.
September.
The Taxation Clauses of Mr. Labouchere’s Peace and Good Will
Message Biil come into operation amidst general rejoicing, the
personalty of a noble Duke lately deceased, amounting, to £1,500,000
being divided as follows:—£100 a year to each of his three Sons,
a like sum to five hundred selected Members of the House of Com-
mons, and the balance to the General Omnibus Company.
Severe rioting and bloodshed, followed by great loss of life, in
Wapping, Hackney, Piccadilly, Mile End, Brixton, Belgrave Square,
Tooting, and Bayswrater, on the occasion of the first attempt to levy
the new Poll Tax of a penny per week on all the able-bodied adults
residing within those districts.
October.
Mechanical partridge-shooting ends.
The Times newspaper has for the subjects of its three respective
Leading Articles, “ The Bottom of the Dead Sea as an Extinct
Health Resort;” “The Private Social Relations of Diffused Bac-
teria;” and “The Ultimate Capabilities of Solar Inspection,” three
days in succession, and then stops.
The dull season ends.
November,
The new Municipal Corporation inaugurated on the Fifth.
It having been, during the course of the day, notified that at the
Evening Banquet the new era of economy would be appropriately
ushered in by a fish and meat dinner, the cost of which ‘ ‘ would not
exceed the sum of sixpence halfpenny a head,” fourteen hundred and
seventy-nine apologies and excuses are received at the last moment,
—the Prime Minister, who had attended, through not having heard
the report, departing “to preside at an important but unexpected
Cabinet Council,” as soon as he had glanced at the menu, leaving a
copy of his speech with the Toastmaster.
December.
General progress of everything. A Gas and two Water Companies
blow up in the Fulham Road.
Electric night-lights introduced for the first time this month, as
an “ anti-soporific stimulant ” in several London Hospitals.
The “ Co-operative Doctors’ Stores ” open ; a Royal Duke taking
his turn for a consultation, and paying a one-and-threepenny fee for
his prescription.
Completion and public opening of the Channel Tunnel, inaugurated
by the sudden march through it of 150,000 picked French troops, who
are hospitably entertained by Sir E. Watkin at the expense of the
shareholders.
The year closes quietly
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[January 5, 1884.
THUMB-NAIL SUMMARY FOR 1884.
(By our oivn A larmist.)
January.
New Bankruptcy Law comes into force.
Five of the London, Chatham, and Dover Company’s packets go
down in mid-Channel, due to overcrowding by absconding Trustees.
Mr. Chamberlain applies to the Lord Mayor for protection, on
receiving an anonymous threatening letter signed “Threepence-
Halfpenny in the Pound.”
Several Provincial Official Receivers come up to London, and,
under pressure from overwork, attempt with partial success to
jump off the top of Queen Anne’s Mansions.
Mr. Justice Cave goes into hysterics on the Bench, and resigns.
February.
The Irish Party arrive in town and dine together, with sealed
doors, in an underground cellar in Whitechapel.
Parliament opens amid a scene of indescribable excitement, and,
on hearing the news, shuts the same afternoon.
Rumour in the Clubs that Mr. Bradlaugh has taken advantage of
the confusion to kidnap Captain Gosset.
Mr. Parnell, being requested by a deputation by both Houses
“ to allow public business to proceed just for an hour or two,” per-
emptorily refuses, and spends the evening in State at Madame
Tussaud’s, paying his own admission amidst an ovation.
After a stormy meeting of the Cabinet Council, during which three
recalcitrant members are ejected from the room by the window, the
Ministry decide — by a majority of one—to grant Home Rule to
Ireland.
Fireworks in Seven Dials. Prominent members of the National
Party leave quietly for New York, disguised, in batches of two and
three at a time the next morning.
Lord Spencer arrives at Liverpool as a stowaway, and is received
coldly by the Mayor. Three per cents, firm at ll(i
March.
The Municipal Reform Bills are all passed without a division at a
Wednesday Morning’s sitting.
Riots at the Mansion House.
Renewed riots at the Mansion House.
Sir Robert Carden, followed by all the Aldermen on both sides of
'the Chair, the Lord Mayor, the City Remembrancer, Common
Serjeant, Deputy Registrar, and twenty-nine of the Livery Com-
panies assemble in Palace Yard, and, again renewing the riots com-
menced at the Mansion House, are removed to the Tower, and shown
the next day for an extra fee of sixpence together with the Crown
jewels.
Great rejoicings in the City, during which a Real Turtle Salesman
is torn to pieces by mistake.
April.
Return of Theatrical Stars from America.
Mr. Irving welcomed by the entire Channel Squadron off Bantry
Bay, received with a salute of one hundred and four guns at several
stations on his way to Town, and made a Duke on his arrival at
Euston Square.
An indignation meeting of Actors, held the next morning in Hyde
Park, condemns the limited character of the honour as “an insult to
the Profession.”
The Premier, after taking advice of a distinguished artistic
judicial authority, counsels Her Majesty to create one hundred and
thirty-six Theatrical Peers.
Simultaneous production of twenty-two original five-act pieces by
Cabinet Ministers, at leading West-End Theatres.
Great reaction in public feeling. Three Dowager Duchesses play-
ing the Three Witches in Macbeth at Newhaven Theatre, are hooted
, off the Stage amid a shower of oyster-shells.
May.
Health Exhibition, opens with display of coloured lamps and
dance-music. During the progress of the inaugural ceremony, three
Sanitary Inspectors go up in a fire balloon and are never heard
of again.
Italian, German, Chinese, Patagonian, and Central African Opera
installed respectively with great social eclat at Covent Garden, Her
Majesty’s, the new Embankment Academy, Drury Lane, and the
Agricultural Hall, Islington. Great rush for places, during which two
highly respected Theatrical Librarians of Bond Street are crushed to
death.
Mr. Carl Rosa, together with five English native Composers and a
powerful company of English Artists, sails for the South Pole in the
hope of establishing, for the benefit of a really cultivated and musical
people, a permanent English National Opera on a satisfactory,
sound, and encouraging basis.
June.
The Eton and Harrow Match played at Lord’s with the new
narrow regulation bats, the result being that the four innings are all
finished in three-quarters of an hour, whereupon the Committee Room
of the Marylebone Club is unroofed, and all the Members discovered
hiding about the grounds, tossed in the side of a Refreshment Tent
by the contending Elevens. _
Commemoration week at Oxford. Honorary degrees conferred on
all the Clowns taking part in the preceding Christmas Pantomimes
amidst a scene of ’wild enthusiasm.
July.
Newly elected Parliament meets for the first time, and commences
a campaign of active legislative reform by abolishing the Speaker.
The “ Payment of. Members Bill,” involving a State income of
£2000 a year, the right to a stall at West End Theatres on first
nights, family railway tourist-tickets during the summer season,
and free dining for self and friend at the Holborn Restaurant while
Parliament is in Session, carried without a division.
The “ Payment of Members Bill,” being thrown out by the Peers,
the House of Lords is abolished by a short comprehensive Act,
framed for the purpose, in one sitting.
Much aristocratic distress prevails towards the end of the month,
and gangs of hungry Peers infesting the public thoroughfares are
prosecuted daily by the Secretary of the Charity Organisation Society,
and ultimately shipped to a Coral Island in the Pacific.
August.
Humanitarian shooting by chloroform commences.
Departure of English notabilities for the Annual American
“ Starring Tour.” The Archbishop of Canterbury, accompanied by
both Houses of Convocation, the Duke of Cambridge, a large staff of
War Office Officials, and several Members of the Cabinet, arrive,
under the charge of the Proprietor of the Elephant and Castle, at
New York, and are entertained by Mr. Yanderbilt with princely
splendour at his mansion in Fifth Avenue for the inside of an after-
noon, and return by the next packet.
Public traffic commences on the Parks Railway, when, owing to
the thinness of the tunnel roof, the first train runs through it into
Rotten Row, and frightens the horse of Mr. T. G. Bowles.
September.
The Taxation Clauses of Mr. Labouchere’s Peace and Good Will
Message Biil come into operation amidst general rejoicing, the
personalty of a noble Duke lately deceased, amounting, to £1,500,000
being divided as follows:—£100 a year to each of his three Sons,
a like sum to five hundred selected Members of the House of Com-
mons, and the balance to the General Omnibus Company.
Severe rioting and bloodshed, followed by great loss of life, in
Wapping, Hackney, Piccadilly, Mile End, Brixton, Belgrave Square,
Tooting, and Bayswrater, on the occasion of the first attempt to levy
the new Poll Tax of a penny per week on all the able-bodied adults
residing within those districts.
October.
Mechanical partridge-shooting ends.
The Times newspaper has for the subjects of its three respective
Leading Articles, “ The Bottom of the Dead Sea as an Extinct
Health Resort;” “The Private Social Relations of Diffused Bac-
teria;” and “The Ultimate Capabilities of Solar Inspection,” three
days in succession, and then stops.
The dull season ends.
November,
The new Municipal Corporation inaugurated on the Fifth.
It having been, during the course of the day, notified that at the
Evening Banquet the new era of economy would be appropriately
ushered in by a fish and meat dinner, the cost of which ‘ ‘ would not
exceed the sum of sixpence halfpenny a head,” fourteen hundred and
seventy-nine apologies and excuses are received at the last moment,
—the Prime Minister, who had attended, through not having heard
the report, departing “to preside at an important but unexpected
Cabinet Council,” as soon as he had glanced at the menu, leaving a
copy of his speech with the Toastmaster.
December.
General progress of everything. A Gas and two Water Companies
blow up in the Fulham Road.
Electric night-lights introduced for the first time this month, as
an “ anti-soporific stimulant ” in several London Hospitals.
The “ Co-operative Doctors’ Stores ” open ; a Royal Duke taking
his turn for a consultation, and paying a one-and-threepenny fee for
his prescription.
Completion and public opening of the Channel Tunnel, inaugurated
by the sudden march through it of 150,000 picked French troops, who
are hospitably entertained by Sir E. Watkin at the expense of the
shareholders.
The year closes quietly