DOI Heft:
February 9, 1884
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17756#0078
February 9, 1884.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
71
A REALIST!
Miss Cribbleton (questioning Old Sailor with a view to “ Copy ” for her thrilling Novel in the Mayfair Magazine). “ Dear me ! what a
DREADFUL SHIPWRECK! AND HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN THE BlLLOWS WERE BREAKING OVER YOU?”
Old Salt. “ Wet, Marm—wery Wet ! ” [She gives him up ?
mistake for Ms Inverness, wMch becomes bore after third time.
So short-sighted, you know.”
Sir Henry Brand here, too.
i “ Sorry you are going to leave us,” I said. “ Successor may be a
good man, but you are hard to beat. It ’s like House of Lords
taking the orange and leaving us the Peel.”
“Not at all, not at all, Toby,” says Speaker, blusMng. ("Won-
derful how the young thing blushes yet. But he’s seen a good
many things in the House of Commons.) “You will see a good deal
of me yet. Know I can’t stand a House that gets through its work
between five and six in the afternoon. Still mean to have my chop
between eight and nine, and back again in a quarter of an hour.
Worst of it is, I know that first few nights at least I ’ll be calling
out, ‘ Order! order! ’ as I rise to leave my seat in Peers’ Oallery.
But must put check on myself.”
Gladstone bustling round in high spirits and still higher collar.
“Never felt fresher in my life,” he says. “Been awfully bored
for last three months. Scarcely anything to do. Had rather good
time last Thursday. Received four deputations, and made four
speeches in one morning. Just gave me appetite for lunch. But
that’s only once in a way. Now life begins. Going to have lively
times. Think we shall see something tMs Session. Sorry you
wouldn’t move Address. But genius and greatness are ever modest.”
True for William, though I say it that shouldn’t. Off home to
bed early. Shan’t get another chance for six months.
PROSPECTS OF SUNSHINE.
: It is a remark rather commonly made just now, that “ Reform is
j in the air.” If that is a fact, then perhaps we may hope for brighter
weather.
“Starvation Cove.”—Alderman Portsoken who knows nothing
of Sir John Franklin and his ill-fated Expedition, has been put
on short commons by his Physician, and declares “ Sir Andrew” to
be the real “Starvation Cove ! ”
ANOTHER WHITE ELEPHANT.
There is a certain eminent Minister who, like another Barn uit j
has long been seeking for something that would render him famous,
and he has selected, as his huge White Elephant, the most gigantic
Municipality the world has ever seen. He has been at infinite
pains to persuade incredulous Londoners that it really is what he
states it to be—a beautiful White Elephant, and certain members
of the Press have expressed themselves very freely upon the subject.
The Daily News says that although not absolutely white, it is not
nearly so dark as its predecessor, the Corporation Jumbo» The Times
says it would rather wait to see how it will look when well washed,
before giving an opinion. The Standard says that it is a gross
impostor, and the sooner it is got rid of the better, as, if allowed to
grow to Ms full size, he would in all probability prove to be very
dangerous. The Economist says that he seems likely to prove a
huge, unwieldy, unmanageable monster, and certaiMy not worth the
enormous cost it will require to keep him going; while its three
faithful attendants, commonly known as the three solemn Leaguers,
declare, with all due solemnity, that it is exactly what it is repre-
sented to be, that they have fondly watched over it from the day of
its birth, that it bears ail the marks of being what the Premier
would probably call “Real Jam.” Its huge unwieldy size no one
can dispute. Its softness is emblematic of the heads of those upon
whom it is to be imposed. Its long tail is represented by the king
train of eager enthusiasts who are looking forward for a share of his
cakes and ale ; and its square chest by the mighty money-bags
requisite to hold the Rates of the future.
But all in vain ; the Public refuse to believe in him, but pass on
to their several avocations, smiling somewhat contemptuously at the
large amount of fuss made by the eager attendants on both the
unlucky White Elephants, whose credentials they continue to doubt,
and whose usefulness they fail to appreciate.
The Yery Place for Les Jeunes “ Sports” Parisians.—
Coaching China.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
71
A REALIST!
Miss Cribbleton (questioning Old Sailor with a view to “ Copy ” for her thrilling Novel in the Mayfair Magazine). “ Dear me ! what a
DREADFUL SHIPWRECK! AND HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN THE BlLLOWS WERE BREAKING OVER YOU?”
Old Salt. “ Wet, Marm—wery Wet ! ” [She gives him up ?
mistake for Ms Inverness, wMch becomes bore after third time.
So short-sighted, you know.”
Sir Henry Brand here, too.
i “ Sorry you are going to leave us,” I said. “ Successor may be a
good man, but you are hard to beat. It ’s like House of Lords
taking the orange and leaving us the Peel.”
“Not at all, not at all, Toby,” says Speaker, blusMng. ("Won-
derful how the young thing blushes yet. But he’s seen a good
many things in the House of Commons.) “You will see a good deal
of me yet. Know I can’t stand a House that gets through its work
between five and six in the afternoon. Still mean to have my chop
between eight and nine, and back again in a quarter of an hour.
Worst of it is, I know that first few nights at least I ’ll be calling
out, ‘ Order! order! ’ as I rise to leave my seat in Peers’ Oallery.
But must put check on myself.”
Gladstone bustling round in high spirits and still higher collar.
“Never felt fresher in my life,” he says. “Been awfully bored
for last three months. Scarcely anything to do. Had rather good
time last Thursday. Received four deputations, and made four
speeches in one morning. Just gave me appetite for lunch. But
that’s only once in a way. Now life begins. Going to have lively
times. Think we shall see something tMs Session. Sorry you
wouldn’t move Address. But genius and greatness are ever modest.”
True for William, though I say it that shouldn’t. Off home to
bed early. Shan’t get another chance for six months.
PROSPECTS OF SUNSHINE.
: It is a remark rather commonly made just now, that “ Reform is
j in the air.” If that is a fact, then perhaps we may hope for brighter
weather.
“Starvation Cove.”—Alderman Portsoken who knows nothing
of Sir John Franklin and his ill-fated Expedition, has been put
on short commons by his Physician, and declares “ Sir Andrew” to
be the real “Starvation Cove ! ”
ANOTHER WHITE ELEPHANT.
There is a certain eminent Minister who, like another Barn uit j
has long been seeking for something that would render him famous,
and he has selected, as his huge White Elephant, the most gigantic
Municipality the world has ever seen. He has been at infinite
pains to persuade incredulous Londoners that it really is what he
states it to be—a beautiful White Elephant, and certain members
of the Press have expressed themselves very freely upon the subject.
The Daily News says that although not absolutely white, it is not
nearly so dark as its predecessor, the Corporation Jumbo» The Times
says it would rather wait to see how it will look when well washed,
before giving an opinion. The Standard says that it is a gross
impostor, and the sooner it is got rid of the better, as, if allowed to
grow to Ms full size, he would in all probability prove to be very
dangerous. The Economist says that he seems likely to prove a
huge, unwieldy, unmanageable monster, and certaiMy not worth the
enormous cost it will require to keep him going; while its three
faithful attendants, commonly known as the three solemn Leaguers,
declare, with all due solemnity, that it is exactly what it is repre-
sented to be, that they have fondly watched over it from the day of
its birth, that it bears ail the marks of being what the Premier
would probably call “Real Jam.” Its huge unwieldy size no one
can dispute. Its softness is emblematic of the heads of those upon
whom it is to be imposed. Its long tail is represented by the king
train of eager enthusiasts who are looking forward for a share of his
cakes and ale ; and its square chest by the mighty money-bags
requisite to hold the Rates of the future.
But all in vain ; the Public refuse to believe in him, but pass on
to their several avocations, smiling somewhat contemptuously at the
large amount of fuss made by the eager attendants on both the
unlucky White Elephants, whose credentials they continue to doubt,
and whose usefulness they fail to appreciate.
The Yery Place for Les Jeunes “ Sports” Parisians.—
Coaching China.