DOI Heft:
February 16, 1884
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17756#0082
February 16, 1884.] PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHAKIVAKI.
75
THE QUEEN’S VALENTINE TO MR. PUNCH. (FEB. 14, 1834.
AN UNUSUAL CHANCE.
We have heard of well-
dressed young- g-entlemen
who go to dinners and
evening parties, and tell
anecdotes, crack jokes, sing
songs, and make themselves
generally agreeable, at a
fixed charge per evening.
Though we do not remem-
ber to have ever encountered
one of these bogus guests,
there can be no doubt of
their existence. The fol-
lowing advertisement from
the Daily Telegraph shows
another variety of the
genus:—-
A SINGLE Young Gentle-
XA- man, of position, re-
quires APAETMENTS and
BOAED in the house of a re-
spectable, comfortable family
(no children). Genial, intel-
lectual, cheerful, naturally re-
fined, not very fashionable, con-
ventional, or orthodoxical, but
still religious. Terms moderate.
West London or suburbs.
There is an unmistakably
business air about this brief
trade circular, and the ad-
vertiser shows no disposi-
tion to hide his light under
a bushel. One would very
much like to know at what
“figure” at which this
young gentleman, who
frankly avows he is “not
very fashionable, conven-
tional, or orthodoxical, but
still religious,” would come
and reside with us. Un-
fortunately he veils the
remuneration under the
somewhat vague phrase
‘ ‘ terms moderate. ” We
are afraid he would charge
more for all these accom-
plishments than we could
afford to pay.
world comfortably, and not spend a youth of buying experience, a
maturity of poverty, and an old age of duns. Yours truly,
Povertas.
1. What are the odds at Baccarat in favour of the banker against
the punter ?
2. Mention any instances, if you can, of punters who have not
drawn on four ; and state whether they ended their days in affluence
or Hanweli.
3. How many men have you heard of, or known, who have been
ruined by their love for the Drama ? State in what projjortion their
love belonged to these branches of the dramatic profession :—•
(a) Tragedy. (b) Comedy, (c) Burlesque.
Deduce moral.
4. Enumerate the salient points in the finish of last year’s Derby.
What effect should these nave on your selections for the Spring
Handicaps ?
5. Given a peremptory letter from a tailor whose account has been
running three years, which of these courses would you adopt ?—
(a) A bill at three months. (5) An order for half-a-dozen suits of
clothes, (c) Take no notice, and change your address.
In each case state reasons, and instance precedents.
6. What proportions does truth assume to falsehood in the average
conversation of women ? and is there any variance in these propor-
tions in respectively single and married women ?
. T. Who is more likely to be prosperous—the man who picks up the
first cab he sees, and pays it off at his journey’s end, or the man who
selects a Forder carefully, and keeps it the whole of the day ?
8. Of what Clubs does the membership stamp a man as possessed
of neither birth, breeding, nor affluence ?
9. Compare the advantages _ and expenses of staying in country
houses with that of sojourning in hotels.
10. Name the specialities in food, drink, or cigars to be obtained
at the Army and Navy, Garrick, Bachelors’, White’s, and Orleans
Clubs.
11. Which are the most objectionable bookmakers to owe money
to, and which do you consider the easiest to get on with if your
account is missing for a time ?
12. Wishing to create a favourable effect, in what phrases would
you couch a letter which would be harmless, as far as you were con-
cerned, either in an action for Breach of Promise or a Divorce Suit ?
13. At what hotels in London can you always obtain refreshment
during unlicensed hours ?
14. Write the history of a writ from the original lawyer’s letter to
enlodgement in Holloway. State at what period in its history the
latter catastrophe can be averted, and by what means other than that
of paying the original sum.
15. What relative advantages and disadvantages, social and pecu-
niary, are to be obtained by posing before the world as a misogynist ?
16. If a man, notoriously hard, up, suddenly blossoms forth into
splendour, and is seen about with either a Gambling-Club Proprietor
or a Jew money-lender, what effect does this sight produce on his
treatment from his social equals ?
17. Who suffers most at pigeon-shooting, the birds, backers, or
booktD akers ?
18. What is the smallest sum on which you can live at the rate
of £5000 a-year ? Show how it can be done (1) by a man with a
title (2) by a Commoner.
ANGLO-FRENCH APHORISM.
“ The Metropolitan Bobbies,” remarked Mr. William Sikes to an
associate, “ is the most dangerous crushers in the world, but fort’-
na„ely there’s sitch a werry few on ’em.”
75
THE QUEEN’S VALENTINE TO MR. PUNCH. (FEB. 14, 1834.
AN UNUSUAL CHANCE.
We have heard of well-
dressed young- g-entlemen
who go to dinners and
evening parties, and tell
anecdotes, crack jokes, sing
songs, and make themselves
generally agreeable, at a
fixed charge per evening.
Though we do not remem-
ber to have ever encountered
one of these bogus guests,
there can be no doubt of
their existence. The fol-
lowing advertisement from
the Daily Telegraph shows
another variety of the
genus:—-
A SINGLE Young Gentle-
XA- man, of position, re-
quires APAETMENTS and
BOAED in the house of a re-
spectable, comfortable family
(no children). Genial, intel-
lectual, cheerful, naturally re-
fined, not very fashionable, con-
ventional, or orthodoxical, but
still religious. Terms moderate.
West London or suburbs.
There is an unmistakably
business air about this brief
trade circular, and the ad-
vertiser shows no disposi-
tion to hide his light under
a bushel. One would very
much like to know at what
“figure” at which this
young gentleman, who
frankly avows he is “not
very fashionable, conven-
tional, or orthodoxical, but
still religious,” would come
and reside with us. Un-
fortunately he veils the
remuneration under the
somewhat vague phrase
‘ ‘ terms moderate. ” We
are afraid he would charge
more for all these accom-
plishments than we could
afford to pay.
world comfortably, and not spend a youth of buying experience, a
maturity of poverty, and an old age of duns. Yours truly,
Povertas.
1. What are the odds at Baccarat in favour of the banker against
the punter ?
2. Mention any instances, if you can, of punters who have not
drawn on four ; and state whether they ended their days in affluence
or Hanweli.
3. How many men have you heard of, or known, who have been
ruined by their love for the Drama ? State in what projjortion their
love belonged to these branches of the dramatic profession :—•
(a) Tragedy. (b) Comedy, (c) Burlesque.
Deduce moral.
4. Enumerate the salient points in the finish of last year’s Derby.
What effect should these nave on your selections for the Spring
Handicaps ?
5. Given a peremptory letter from a tailor whose account has been
running three years, which of these courses would you adopt ?—
(a) A bill at three months. (5) An order for half-a-dozen suits of
clothes, (c) Take no notice, and change your address.
In each case state reasons, and instance precedents.
6. What proportions does truth assume to falsehood in the average
conversation of women ? and is there any variance in these propor-
tions in respectively single and married women ?
. T. Who is more likely to be prosperous—the man who picks up the
first cab he sees, and pays it off at his journey’s end, or the man who
selects a Forder carefully, and keeps it the whole of the day ?
8. Of what Clubs does the membership stamp a man as possessed
of neither birth, breeding, nor affluence ?
9. Compare the advantages _ and expenses of staying in country
houses with that of sojourning in hotels.
10. Name the specialities in food, drink, or cigars to be obtained
at the Army and Navy, Garrick, Bachelors’, White’s, and Orleans
Clubs.
11. Which are the most objectionable bookmakers to owe money
to, and which do you consider the easiest to get on with if your
account is missing for a time ?
12. Wishing to create a favourable effect, in what phrases would
you couch a letter which would be harmless, as far as you were con-
cerned, either in an action for Breach of Promise or a Divorce Suit ?
13. At what hotels in London can you always obtain refreshment
during unlicensed hours ?
14. Write the history of a writ from the original lawyer’s letter to
enlodgement in Holloway. State at what period in its history the
latter catastrophe can be averted, and by what means other than that
of paying the original sum.
15. What relative advantages and disadvantages, social and pecu-
niary, are to be obtained by posing before the world as a misogynist ?
16. If a man, notoriously hard, up, suddenly blossoms forth into
splendour, and is seen about with either a Gambling-Club Proprietor
or a Jew money-lender, what effect does this sight produce on his
treatment from his social equals ?
17. Who suffers most at pigeon-shooting, the birds, backers, or
booktD akers ?
18. What is the smallest sum on which you can live at the rate
of £5000 a-year ? Show how it can be done (1) by a man with a
title (2) by a Commoner.
ANGLO-FRENCH APHORISM.
“ The Metropolitan Bobbies,” remarked Mr. William Sikes to an
associate, “ is the most dangerous crushers in the world, but fort’-
na„ely there’s sitch a werry few on ’em.”