Punch (86.1884)

110

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[March 8, 1884.

BRUIN IN COKAIGNE.*

[Russia declares that although she had undertaken not to seize upon Merv, this did not apply to its voluntary submission.]

Bruin loquitur—

Who says I am greedy ? He does me great wrong,

This bias against me ’s exceedingly funny ;

But prejudice is so confoundedly strong !

My tastes are most simple ; a little wild honey
Suffices my needs, in a general way.

A Saint could not be more abstemious—normally,

And as to my prowling in search of fat prey,

The charge is absurd, I abj ure it most formally.

It hurts me, it really does hurt me, to tind
The rest of the world so devoid of all charity.

J’m a generous brute, with a genial mind,

And I potter about in a state of hilarity,

* Cokaigne (or Kitchen-land), a legendary Paradise of sensual delights,
where pigs ready-roasted are said to run about with knives and forks, crying, ;
“ Come, eat us ! ” where “ the gees irosted on the spitte ” fly about, crying, j
“Gees! al hote ! al hote ! ” and where stewed larks drop voluntarily into
the traveller’s mouth. i

Like a middle-aged gentleman taking a stroll,

And if, why of course if I happen to hit on
Cokaigne, where plump porkers will run about whole,
Ready-cooked, what is that to John Bull or Lord Lytton ?
I own I had sworn off of pig—in a sense,

That is, stolen pig, and that pledge I won’t violate.

I ’ll not join a pig-hunt on any pretence

(Although I’ve had rather good sport in my eye o’ late),
But really, you know, if fat porkers will come _

And solicit my fangs, as it were, in this fashion,

What am I to do ? It looks tempting. Nyum, Nyum !

My mouth waters ! Leo will get in a passion,

I’ve not the least doubt. He wants all the tit-bits,

He likes vastly well on his rounds to discover
Eat geese of Cokaigne ready cooked on their spits,

Whilst I,—well, of simple plain f'otpd I’rna lover.

But when a bonne-bouche just drops into one’s maw,
Unsought—as in this case—and prays to be gobbled,