Punch (86.1884)

March 8, 1884.]

PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

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SSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM

THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

Knn.se of Commons, Monday, February 25.—The Speaker going-!
i LADS LONE moves Vote of Thanks for twelve years’ hard labour;
-conded by Stafford Nortiicote. Phrases not quite so well
■Minded as those of Grand Old Sentence-maker. But Stafford's
;ind heart evidently really touched at approaching separation.
‘arnell rises, and whilst expressing profoundest esteem for
'PEaker, accuses him of having abused his high office.

“ Couldn’t help it, Toby,” he said, when I met him after. “ If I
i id n’t done it, some of the boys would. Joseph Gillis hinted that
te had ready an oration suitable for occasion. Heady would have
tone it with pleasure. Ho: there was no trouble about Tin Pot. He
ioes as I bid him, howls to order, and coo’s to command. Others
neant business. Thought I’d better do it myself ; but can tell vou
1 didn’t like it.”

The Speaker going ! Lord Henry Lennox with his trousers (in-
adequately short to begin with) turned up, and a new coat on, fresh
from the Boys’ Clothing Establishment, unexpectedly appears. “ Imay
lookjoune,” he says, “but that’s art, good-temper, and domestic
felicity. Ree’ly, I’m past forty. _ Have indeed been thirty-eight years
in the House. Feel bound to give the Speaker my blessing.”

Mr. Newdegate couldn’t hear this comparative juvenile posing
without concern. “Been here forty years,” he says, in forlornest
tones. “ Forty years of Melancholy look down upon you, Mr.
Speaker, and bless you.”

“Had him there,’” said New deg ate, in an aside to Sir Walter
Darttelot. “ Lennox always crowing. Didn’t think I was here.”

Speaker going ! Hardly had murmur ceased when a wizened old
Gentleman, with grey hair unbrushed and one hand in pocket, sur-
veyed, the House through pair of horn spectacles.

“ Fifty years I have been here,” Mr. Gregory said.

“ Now’s your time. Colonel,” said Dick Power, nudging the
O’Gorman Mahon dozing below the Gangway. “ You’ve been here
eighty years, or is it hundred-and-twenty ? Go it, old boy!
Don’t let Ireland be beaten. Up and at ’em ! ”

“ Be:dad, I think you’re right,” said the old Amphibious Warrior,
who had been listening with hand to ear. “ That whiskey they sell
here is, as you say, scarcely worth drinking. But I ’ll try a drop
with a lemon in it,” and he went out.

The Speaker going—going! One last Motion of Adjournment
at Question Time thoughtfully provided by Labby. Debate on
Grand Committees turned into Irish discussion. Then for the last
time Sir Henry Brand puts the question—“ That the House do now

adjourn.” Members throng round the Chair to shake hands. The
last passes by ; the lights are put out; wig and gown cast aside, and
the Speaker is Gone ! Business done.—Resignation of Speaker.

Tuesday.—New Speaker elected. "Whitbread proposed him in
speech full of that ponderous -wisdom and imposing goody-goodyness
which have earned for him curiously high place in estimation of House.

“ I am getting old now,” said Randolph. “ Not so old, of course,
as Lennox, nor nearly so old as Newdegate, nor half so old as
Gregory. Still, years pass by. Should like before I die to hear
Whitbread pronounce the word ‘ Mesopotamia.’ How thrice blessed
it would seem uttered in his voice, with his manner! ”

“He always strikes me,” said young Balfolr, “as being the
Captain Bunsby of tbe House.”

Rathbone little overweighted with responsibility of position. Got
up nice little speech ; learned it off by heart; recited it without mis-
take driving down to the House ; and now, when he rises and sees
crowded House, whole thing, as he subsequently explained in domestic
circle, “ got upside down like.” Peroration persistently pressed for
first place. The middle got out of perspective, and the opening
sentences nowhere to be found. Haven’t often seen sucb spectacle of
piteous misery as Rathbone groping about his speech.

“ Wish I could get him to sit to Frank Hole as model for picture,

‘ Good Man Fighting with Adversity,’ ” says Agnew. “ Splendid
subject! ”

Si’EAKER-Elect took House by surprise. Always thought him awk-
ward man who couldn’t make speech, without keeping a firm grip of
his holding on the table, and then stumbled along in awkward
fashion. His speech to-nigbt dignified, bold, and touched with true
spirit of his high office. “ Peel will do,” was the emphatic verdict
of both sides of the House when be resumed his seat.

Sir Robert Peel surveyed the scene from the Gallery. “Wish
I’d been the good hoy of the family ! ’’ he murmured. “ Might have
been Speaker myself. However, think I’ve managed pretty well.
Arthur goes with the Liberals, and gets Speakership in family. I go
with the Tories, and Randolph has promised to take me up.”

Business done.—New Speaker elected.

Wednesday.—House of Lords met to-day to conclude ceremony of
election of Speaker.

“ Can’t stand much more of this,” said Lord Redesdale, trying to
wipe his brow with end of white neckcloth. “ Worked to death.
We ’ll he having Saturday sittings shortly. It’s all Gladstone.”

“I like it,” said Lord’WEMYSS. “The more meetings the more
opportunities for me to make speech or two. Don’t know why Lord
Chancellor should have aU the talking to-day.. Think I could say
a few words that the Commons at the Bar would like to hear. Always
a favourite with them.”