DOI Heft:
March 22, 1884
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17756#0141
-March 22, 1884.] PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVAPJ. 135
CONCLUSIONS l
Pitman [to Dignitary of (he Church). “ Au ’se war’nt ye 're a Poor Curate, noo, travellin’ wi’ the likes o’ huz ! ”
Bishop (who thinks it right to travel Third Class occasionally). “I once was, my Friend,—but-”
Pitman [compassionately). “Ah!—I see—that wretched Drink!” [.Explanations'.
“Here you are!” lie cries, joyfully, as the 8'25 train from Ramsgate
catches his eye (which is about all this train is intended to catch).
“Capital! only seventeen miles to Dover! we must be there hy9'20 and
have twenty minutes to spare before embarking. Let me see-”
His countenance gradually falls as he examines the Time Table
more and more attentively. This is the result.
The 8’25 from Ramsgate arrives at Deal at 9. So far so good. But
“ J'y suis, j'y reste ” may he that traveller’s motto as far as any
getting to Calais by that mail-boat at 9‘40 is concerned, as there is no
train on to Dover till 10. This gives an hour to wait at Deal. The
tourist will then arrive at Dover at 10'27, and he can go by the next
boat, for which he will have an hour and a half to wait. Of course
such an arrangement is admirably calculated to suit any one who
wants to stop an hour at Deal and an hour and a half at Dover.
The 1’30 from Ramsgate arrives at Deal at 2'10 just in time to
catch the 2'15 for Dover which arrives at 2'42, but this the traveller
only accidentally hears of, as it doesn’t seem to be advertised.
Perhaps it is meant as a pleasant little surprise. Should he miss the
surprise train, the traveller to Dover will have ample time to investi-
gate the town of Deal, as he will have no chance of “ getting any
forrarder,” until 4'18. This arrangement is favourable to the Tourist
who wishes to remain in Deal for a couple of hours. The 6'50 p.m.
from Ramsgate arrives at Deal at 7'30, just in time to miss the 7'15
from Deal to Dover. The 9'20 p.m. for Ramsgate arrives at Deal
10-5 just in time to miss the 10 o’clock train from Deal,—and then the
Tourist is done.
Sunday brings some consolation for the Tourist. He can catch the
early boat from Dover by starting from Ramsgate at 7. He will
have fifty minutes to wait at Deal, where, as the refreshment-room
won’t be open, and no hotel is ready to receive visitors, he can spend
his time in imagining what he might have had for breakfast if he
had been compelled to wait this time while travelling abroad. He
will he at Dover by 8*57, and here, perhaps, he may get some break-
fast. At all events, as we believe the mail-boat goes at 9*40 a.m. as
on week-days, he can catch that, when, perhaps, breakfast will be
unnecessary. He can also catch the mid-day boat on Sundays verv
comfortably by leaving Ramsgate at 9'45, and waiting only ten
minutes at Deal, and reaching Dover at 11*12, when, as a bona-fide
traveller, some hotel may consent to serve him with breakfast; but,
on the other hand, they may not, or may be so slow in placing it on
the table, that by the time it is there the hungry Tourist can only
pour the coffee into a flask, put the rolls and butter in one pocket,
the eggs-and-bacon into another, dash down five shillings, and rush
off to the boat, which starts punctually at 12 to the minute.
Certainly the/Representatives of Margate, Ramsgate, Dover and
Shorncliffe have just cause of complaint, and as Mr. J. S. Forbes has
declared plainly and emphatically that he is on the side of the com-
plainants in the matter, it is to be hoped, in the interests of the travel-
ling public, which after all are the true interests of both Companies,
that Sir Watkin will not be obdurate ; that he will listen to the voice
of reason; that he will like Cox embrace Box as his long-lost
brother (“Have you an L. C. D. & S. E. marked on your arm?” “No!
Then it is he !!”); and that then their “friends in front will be happy”
“when,” to quote Chairman Forbes, “ there shall be frequent trains
—ten each way per day—at reduced fares, in accordance with the
terms of the letter sent to the Dover Corporation, a copy of which had
been submitted to the S. E. Company.”
Arrange this matter, Gentlemen, if you please, so that the much-
vexed Tourist residing at Margate or Ramsgate may be enabled to
avail himself of your Calais-Douvres and your Mail and other Packet
Service, and may not have to join in chorus, to the tune of “ The
Whale f—
“ But we did not catch that Mail, Brave hoys,
We did not catch that Mail! ”
Naturally.—Prince Bismarck declines to “play the Postman to
his enemies.” He doubtless considers that he is the Pillar of the
State, not its Post.
Good Place eor People to Live at who dislike Rhine
Wines.—Anti-och!
CONCLUSIONS l
Pitman [to Dignitary of (he Church). “ Au ’se war’nt ye 're a Poor Curate, noo, travellin’ wi’ the likes o’ huz ! ”
Bishop (who thinks it right to travel Third Class occasionally). “I once was, my Friend,—but-”
Pitman [compassionately). “Ah!—I see—that wretched Drink!” [.Explanations'.
“Here you are!” lie cries, joyfully, as the 8'25 train from Ramsgate
catches his eye (which is about all this train is intended to catch).
“Capital! only seventeen miles to Dover! we must be there hy9'20 and
have twenty minutes to spare before embarking. Let me see-”
His countenance gradually falls as he examines the Time Table
more and more attentively. This is the result.
The 8’25 from Ramsgate arrives at Deal at 9. So far so good. But
“ J'y suis, j'y reste ” may he that traveller’s motto as far as any
getting to Calais by that mail-boat at 9‘40 is concerned, as there is no
train on to Dover till 10. This gives an hour to wait at Deal. The
tourist will then arrive at Dover at 10'27, and he can go by the next
boat, for which he will have an hour and a half to wait. Of course
such an arrangement is admirably calculated to suit any one who
wants to stop an hour at Deal and an hour and a half at Dover.
The 1’30 from Ramsgate arrives at Deal at 2'10 just in time to
catch the 2'15 for Dover which arrives at 2'42, but this the traveller
only accidentally hears of, as it doesn’t seem to be advertised.
Perhaps it is meant as a pleasant little surprise. Should he miss the
surprise train, the traveller to Dover will have ample time to investi-
gate the town of Deal, as he will have no chance of “ getting any
forrarder,” until 4'18. This arrangement is favourable to the Tourist
who wishes to remain in Deal for a couple of hours. The 6'50 p.m.
from Ramsgate arrives at Deal at 7'30, just in time to miss the 7'15
from Deal to Dover. The 9'20 p.m. for Ramsgate arrives at Deal
10-5 just in time to miss the 10 o’clock train from Deal,—and then the
Tourist is done.
Sunday brings some consolation for the Tourist. He can catch the
early boat from Dover by starting from Ramsgate at 7. He will
have fifty minutes to wait at Deal, where, as the refreshment-room
won’t be open, and no hotel is ready to receive visitors, he can spend
his time in imagining what he might have had for breakfast if he
had been compelled to wait this time while travelling abroad. He
will he at Dover by 8*57, and here, perhaps, he may get some break-
fast. At all events, as we believe the mail-boat goes at 9*40 a.m. as
on week-days, he can catch that, when, perhaps, breakfast will be
unnecessary. He can also catch the mid-day boat on Sundays verv
comfortably by leaving Ramsgate at 9'45, and waiting only ten
minutes at Deal, and reaching Dover at 11*12, when, as a bona-fide
traveller, some hotel may consent to serve him with breakfast; but,
on the other hand, they may not, or may be so slow in placing it on
the table, that by the time it is there the hungry Tourist can only
pour the coffee into a flask, put the rolls and butter in one pocket,
the eggs-and-bacon into another, dash down five shillings, and rush
off to the boat, which starts punctually at 12 to the minute.
Certainly the/Representatives of Margate, Ramsgate, Dover and
Shorncliffe have just cause of complaint, and as Mr. J. S. Forbes has
declared plainly and emphatically that he is on the side of the com-
plainants in the matter, it is to be hoped, in the interests of the travel-
ling public, which after all are the true interests of both Companies,
that Sir Watkin will not be obdurate ; that he will listen to the voice
of reason; that he will like Cox embrace Box as his long-lost
brother (“Have you an L. C. D. & S. E. marked on your arm?” “No!
Then it is he !!”); and that then their “friends in front will be happy”
“when,” to quote Chairman Forbes, “ there shall be frequent trains
—ten each way per day—at reduced fares, in accordance with the
terms of the letter sent to the Dover Corporation, a copy of which had
been submitted to the S. E. Company.”
Arrange this matter, Gentlemen, if you please, so that the much-
vexed Tourist residing at Margate or Ramsgate may be enabled to
avail himself of your Calais-Douvres and your Mail and other Packet
Service, and may not have to join in chorus, to the tune of “ The
Whale f—
“ But we did not catch that Mail, Brave hoys,
We did not catch that Mail! ”
Naturally.—Prince Bismarck declines to “play the Postman to
his enemies.” He doubtless considers that he is the Pillar of the
State, not its Post.
Good Place eor People to Live at who dislike Rhine
Wines.—Anti-och!