DOI issue:
May 24, 1884
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17756#0252
AN INDIGNANT DISCLAIMER,
Mamma. “Now, Billy, you mustn’t be Shy, you know!” Billy. “ I ’se not Shy—I’se Rude!”
Mind, it is only the Snob or the Democratic Communistic Radical who
can possibly object to hearing you speak of these distinguished
persons; while the truly-loyal, the well-bred, and better-informed
will he delighted, no matter how frequently you may allude to your
distinguished aristocratic circle of friends.
Let your anecdotes invariably commence with ‘ ‘ I was talking
with Salisb-I mean, with the Marquis of Salisbury, Iv.Gr., the
other day, and I was pointing out to him how wrong he was, &c.,
&c., and old Sabum, I mean Lord Salisbury, at once replied,
‘Johnnie, old man, you’re always right, hut you know that,’
&c., &e.”
Or when with relatives, at a family or friendly gathering, down
Hoxton or Camberwell way, you will delight them,—for they will
shine with the reflected light that comes through you,—by saying,
“ I was stopping a few days with the Duke of Blucote at his
place down at Castletoff in ’Toffshire, when the dear Duchess came
up to me and asked me if I’d seen Jimmy—that’s the second hoy.
Lord James Fitziton—and I couldn’t help telling her,” &c.
Or, if you want to introduce a little variety, so as not to
seem proud, by mentioning a commoner, fake care that the name
be associated with some distinctive place which gives a kind of
hereditary aristocratic title, as for example, “ I was dining the
other night with Ned Wallop—not the Indian Wallops of Bawbee,
hut one of the Wallops of Moke, you know—and he told me,”
&c., &c.
Or, if you have once been invited to some public gathering
which was graced by the presence of Loyalty, when on your card1
of invitation was put “To have the honour of meeting
&c., &c., you can say casually to your friends and relatives, “ All!.
apropos of that affair” (whatever they may be talking about, it
doesn’t in the least matter), “there’s something more than meets,
the eye—I could tell you, only I am not at liberty to do so,—some-
thing,—but it mustn’t go beyond this table. Well—the other evening
I was talking to—at least it is better to say I was in company with
the Pr—I should say a certain Illustrious Personage,—when he
happened to ask my opinion, which I gave him andfound.it was.
exactly contrary to his. Of course I couldn’t retract.” This has a
smack of true Republican sentiment about it which will raise you
GOOD MANNERS ; OR, THE ART OE BEING
AGREEABLE.
No Y.
Vanity.— It is most true that Vanity is the cause of most of our
follies. Vanity is the love of admiration, however it may be
expressed. When you have sung, do not wait for applause, but
at once proceed with another song, and so on until your stock is
exhausted. The same rule wiR apply to recitations, poses plastiques,
conjuring, imitations of birds, and any other accomplishments with
which you may from time to time entertain your friends and
acquaintances, according to the advice previously given.
Parmi les Femmes du Monde.—Vanity leads men to wish to
appear successful among women. Do not make so great an error.
Don’t “wish be successful. Then you have a right to appear
what you are ; it being of the essence of snobbishness to appear
what you are not. You know your own powers of fascination ?
Les. Then, fascinate. And having “mashed” them all round, or
as many of them as it will serve you to “mash” for one evening,
strut about the drawing-room with your thumbs in the armholes
of your waistcoat, or both underneath your coat, flaunting its tails
defiantly in the air, as much as to say, ‘ ‘ Ha! ha! I am cock
of the walk, here! Pegardez mon air vainqueur! ” This is
legitimate triumph: you, so to speak, annex so many of the fair
sex, and assume over them a q>r°tectorate which insures them
against annoyance or insult. When you enter a room, silently but
quietly select your, victims, taking them in order. Sit by Their
side., address them individually as “my darling” or “my angel,”
adding, “ I love you to distraction! ” And then hiss in her ear,
“You are mine! mine!! mine for ever!!! ” And so on with every
one of them. Do not boast of your success afterwards, but you
may walk about the room as above described, to the admiration of
all beholders.
Of Titled Friends.—If you happen to know (as, of course, you
will happen to know) several Dukes, Marquises, Viscounts, Duchesses,
and other grades of the aristocracy, neglect no opportunity of
lugging their names and full titles, if possible, into the conversation.
Mamma. “Now, Billy, you mustn’t be Shy, you know!” Billy. “ I ’se not Shy—I’se Rude!”
Mind, it is only the Snob or the Democratic Communistic Radical who
can possibly object to hearing you speak of these distinguished
persons; while the truly-loyal, the well-bred, and better-informed
will he delighted, no matter how frequently you may allude to your
distinguished aristocratic circle of friends.
Let your anecdotes invariably commence with ‘ ‘ I was talking
with Salisb-I mean, with the Marquis of Salisbury, Iv.Gr., the
other day, and I was pointing out to him how wrong he was, &c.,
&c., and old Sabum, I mean Lord Salisbury, at once replied,
‘Johnnie, old man, you’re always right, hut you know that,’
&c., &e.”
Or when with relatives, at a family or friendly gathering, down
Hoxton or Camberwell way, you will delight them,—for they will
shine with the reflected light that comes through you,—by saying,
“ I was stopping a few days with the Duke of Blucote at his
place down at Castletoff in ’Toffshire, when the dear Duchess came
up to me and asked me if I’d seen Jimmy—that’s the second hoy.
Lord James Fitziton—and I couldn’t help telling her,” &c.
Or, if you want to introduce a little variety, so as not to
seem proud, by mentioning a commoner, fake care that the name
be associated with some distinctive place which gives a kind of
hereditary aristocratic title, as for example, “ I was dining the
other night with Ned Wallop—not the Indian Wallops of Bawbee,
hut one of the Wallops of Moke, you know—and he told me,”
&c., &c.
Or, if you have once been invited to some public gathering
which was graced by the presence of Loyalty, when on your card1
of invitation was put “To have the honour of meeting
&c., &c., you can say casually to your friends and relatives, “ All!.
apropos of that affair” (whatever they may be talking about, it
doesn’t in the least matter), “there’s something more than meets,
the eye—I could tell you, only I am not at liberty to do so,—some-
thing,—but it mustn’t go beyond this table. Well—the other evening
I was talking to—at least it is better to say I was in company with
the Pr—I should say a certain Illustrious Personage,—when he
happened to ask my opinion, which I gave him andfound.it was.
exactly contrary to his. Of course I couldn’t retract.” This has a
smack of true Republican sentiment about it which will raise you
GOOD MANNERS ; OR, THE ART OE BEING
AGREEABLE.
No Y.
Vanity.— It is most true that Vanity is the cause of most of our
follies. Vanity is the love of admiration, however it may be
expressed. When you have sung, do not wait for applause, but
at once proceed with another song, and so on until your stock is
exhausted. The same rule wiR apply to recitations, poses plastiques,
conjuring, imitations of birds, and any other accomplishments with
which you may from time to time entertain your friends and
acquaintances, according to the advice previously given.
Parmi les Femmes du Monde.—Vanity leads men to wish to
appear successful among women. Do not make so great an error.
Don’t “wish be successful. Then you have a right to appear
what you are ; it being of the essence of snobbishness to appear
what you are not. You know your own powers of fascination ?
Les. Then, fascinate. And having “mashed” them all round, or
as many of them as it will serve you to “mash” for one evening,
strut about the drawing-room with your thumbs in the armholes
of your waistcoat, or both underneath your coat, flaunting its tails
defiantly in the air, as much as to say, ‘ ‘ Ha! ha! I am cock
of the walk, here! Pegardez mon air vainqueur! ” This is
legitimate triumph: you, so to speak, annex so many of the fair
sex, and assume over them a q>r°tectorate which insures them
against annoyance or insult. When you enter a room, silently but
quietly select your, victims, taking them in order. Sit by Their
side., address them individually as “my darling” or “my angel,”
adding, “ I love you to distraction! ” And then hiss in her ear,
“You are mine! mine!! mine for ever!!! ” And so on with every
one of them. Do not boast of your success afterwards, but you
may walk about the room as above described, to the admiration of
all beholders.
Of Titled Friends.—If you happen to know (as, of course, you
will happen to know) several Dukes, Marquises, Viscounts, Duchesses,
and other grades of the aristocracy, neglect no opportunity of
lugging their names and full titles, if possible, into the conversation.