Punch (86.1884)

May 24, 1884.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

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SSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM

THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

House of Commons, Monday, May 12.—“Ho spectacle in the
world equal to House of Commons on a big night,” says Captain
Cosset, looking round at Five o’Clock. “I’ve seen a few of ’em,
hut not many to beat this.”

Hot a vacant place anywhere—even the Gangway used as seats.
Side-galleries crowded. Speaker’s Gallery and Strangers’ Gallery
filled with throng beaming with satisfaction at recollection of crowd
outside that couldn’t get in. For once Distinguished Strangers’
i Gallery—usually occupied by friends and relations of Harrington,
Redmond, and T. P. O’Connor—put to proper use.

“ A splendid House,” I said to Sir Michael Beach.

“ Yes,” said he; “very gratifying, very gratifying indeed.
Randolph says I’m prosy; remarks made in other quarters about
lugubrious manner and sing-song intonation. These prejudices I
know generally lead to House clearing out when I rise ; hut acknow-
ledgment at last made, and very handsomely, too. Good thing for
Gladstone that he follows me. I expect many will remain to hear
him.” Sir Michael, rising at Half-past Five, plodded on for hour
and twenty minutes. At Six o’Clock, Sir George Balfour and
Mr. Alderman Lawrence discovered sleeping side by side behind
the Treasury Bench, right in face of impassioned orator.

_“ Just like Babes in the Wood,” says Caine. “ Let’s cover ’em
with leaves. Plenty of Blue-Books about, will tear up easily.”

Presently, Lawrence woke with a start. Been dreaming he was
at first banquet of new Corporation. Baron of beef served up.
Thought there was something familiar in aspect. Hew Lord Mayor
| jocularly announced it was “ the Last of the Aldermen.” Shout of
execration at barbarity woke Alderman—to discover Conservatives
vociferously cheering as Hicxs-Beach, pointing across table to
Gladstone, quoted Gordon’s words about “leaving to you the
indelible disgrace ” of abandoning the garrisons.

Gladstone unmistakably riled. Generally when at white heat of
| passion delivers his best speech ; witness Thursday night before
j Easter Recess, when he demolished Stafford Horthcote, the Oppo-
j sition, and their Motion for the Adjournment. To-night his speech
disappointing. Did not seem to get grip of subject. Certainly,

! had. not his usual hold on audience. Forster and Goschen
whispering together during speech. Fancy Forster means mischief.
Has a candid look about his face, and an extra wrinkle in the back
of his coat, that invariably presage an attack on a Ministry that has
presumed for two years to get on without him.

Business done.—Vote of Censure Humber Two moved.

Tuesday.—Wasn’t wrong about the wrinkle in Forster’s coat
noted yesterday. Came down in good time this afternoon, but waited
till Four o’Clock to speak. That being the most prized opportunity of
the day, Forster calmly collared it, just as he shoulders Dr. Lyons
out of his corner seat. Government case looking little worse than
usual. Forster more venomous. Attacked Gladstone personally ;
more than hinted that he said and affected to believe anything that
suited his purpose ; sneered at consciences of Gentlemen below Gang-
way. Honest Hartington couldn’t stand this. Went for candid
friend, hit out straight from shoulder, whilst Liberals uproariously
cheered and Conservatives §at ominously silent.

“ Han? it! ” said Hewdegate, a fine old-fashioned English gentle-
man, “Forster useful to our fellows. Puts case in stronger way
than most of them, and should be encouraged. But don’t like to see
a fellow bite at hand of old friend and Leader, because old friend
and Leader manages to carry on Government without him.”

Goschen made it worse still for Forster, speaking an hour or two
later with equal force against Government policy, but no small back-
biting at old colleagues. Contrast a little hard on Forster.

Hewcastle-on-Tyne contributed two best speeches in Debate.
Joseph (not Joey B., but J. C.), rolled out, with his deep Horthum-
brian burr, a string of perfectly-constructed sentences in antique
style of Cloth-of-Gold oratory. Regarded as a sustained effort of
high eloquence, this rarely been equalled. Quite in accordance with
dramatic turn of Debate to have John Morley following him.
Moved by excitement of moment, crowded House, the great issue
dependent, and strong antagonism to colleague’s views, John at
last succeeded in throwing off feeling of restraint. Delivered dashing
speech, full of epigram, point, and argument. Having once broken
the ice, John Morley will fall into Parliamentary manner, and be
a leader in Debate.

Wednesday Morning.—Division taken at Two o’Clock. Irish
Members prepared little surprise. Gave out were going to vote for j
Government. Conservatives in despair. Had hoped otherwise. With.
Parnellite Yote might even defeat Government, or reduce Majority
to dangerous point. When House cleared for Division, Irish Members
remained seated, compact and highly respectable body, some thirty
strong. Other Members lingered in Doorway to see what would
happen. At last moment, Parnell rose, all the boys with him.
Stepped down Gangway, and turned sharply off to the right, heading
for Opposition Lobby.

“ A twopenny dramatic effect we could have very well done with-
out,” growled Rowland Winn. “Glad of their vote,_ of course.
But why couldn’t they have given it in ordinary way, without con-
spirator meetings at midnight, deliberately sureading lying reports
of their intention, and then this hanging about till last moment.