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June 14, 1884.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI

287

DIABT

TOBY,

House of Commons, Thursday Night, June 5.—Back after the
Whitsun holidays ; at least some of us. Our Leaders unanimously
concluded to extend holiday.

“ Didn’t go to the Derby, but shall stay over for the Oaks,” Glad-
stone writes to me. “Had regular Haward’n yesterday. Even
with assistance of W. H., couldn’t manage it under three hours.”

At the top of note humorous sketch of W. E. G. with coat, waist-
coat, and hat off, shirt loosened at throat, braces hanging down at
sides, wielding an axe. Old ’un evidently in high spirits.

Stafford Northcote peeped in about half-past six, just to see if
Randolph was there; found he wasn’t; joyfully disappeared.
Randolph still ruminating in Paris.

“When I take holiday, Toby,” he said on eve of departure,
“what I like is thorough rest and change of scene. Life frisky
enough in London. When holiday comes, like to retire to quiet
place, no distractions, where stream hums through leafy dells, where
skies are blue, grass green, and trees leafy, where you go to bed
early, rise late, and eat Yienna bread, soothed by murmur of
innumerable bees. So I came to Paris.”

Hr. Parnell in Ireland buying land for honest peasantry. This
greatly reduces number of our Leaders. Scarcely any left except
Ashmead-Bartlett and Jimmy Lowther. A. B. interrogative as
usual. Lord Edmond Fitzmatjrice wants notice of question, as
customary. Jimmy on Front Bench has high old time._ Falls natu-
rally into attitude of Leader of Opposition ; follows up Eord Edmond
with awkward questions put with childlike blandness. With con-
summate art seats himself between Selwyn-Ibbetson andScLATER-
Booth, who throw around him quite unaccustomed halo of dull
respectability. Wish we saw more of him.

Next to Right Honourable Gentleman, Peter enjoyed himself most
through long Sitting. Civil Service Estimates on. Question about
“ Supply of furniture to the various public offices, the Courts of Law
in England and Wales inclusive of fixtures and fittings.” Here wild
field for dissertation through which Peter roved in boundless delight.
Hasn’t had such a time for seven years.

Joseph Gillis sitting on solitary watch-tower below Gangway,
“ like a rusty raven forsaken of companions,” as Harcourt says.
Joseph’s gloom deepened as one by one Votes were passed. “£290
for supply of additional racks at the Foreign Office.” What do they
want with additional racks at the Foreign Office ? Isn’t Ashmead-
Bartlett enough, together with the Noble Baron and Wolff, not to
speak of Boxtrke and Northcote ? Here is evidently waste of

public money. Joseph moves'uneasily, but finds little encouragement.
None of his friends and compatriots are near. Earlier in the evening
T. P. O’Connor had been uttering his plaint of the niggardliness of
personal attendance in House. Life-long habitude of luxury made
him impatient with the service offered in the House of Commons.
No silver bells at tintinabulation of which come with noiseless
footfall obsequious Seneschal. The House too cold in one place,
too hot in another. No softly gliding bath chairs to take the
Sybarite from one chamber to another. No nicely warmed lift with
musical box playing “ The Night when Larry was Stretched,” to
take him up-stairs and down-stairs and in my lady’s chamber, with
the grille before it.

Tin Pot having had complaint wrung from his overburdened soul,
had gone his way and was now doubtless reclining in apartments
more in accordance with his use and wont. Joseph Gillis was aban-
doned, and sat mournfully silent whilst Votes rapidly passed.

“ Oh ! Richard, oh ! mon roi,

L’univers t’abandonne ! ”

Justin McCarthy softly sang in his ear.

“ G’lang wid yer foolin’ and yer bad langwidge,” Joseph sharply
answered, his usually equable temper sorely raffled.

On the whole a good evening for public business. Begin to think
that, after all, we get on better when our Leaders are away.

Business done.—Twenty-three Votes passed in Civil Service Esti-
mates.

Friday.—Some doubt as to whether there would be House at all
to-day. Business not attractive except for Childers and Old Mother
Hubbard, who can’t get out of her mind conviction that she ought
to have been Chancellor of Exchequer. Other arrangements
having been made, wags her wise old head over schemes of successive
Chancellors.

“ Believe Gladstone’s sorry he couldn’t secure me as his suc-
cessor,” she says. “But couldn’t do it, Toby. Principles first,
and place after. Might have helped Dizzy if he’d come to me in ’74.
But of course he knew better. These chits always do. However, 1
may save the country yet. Randolph pays me marked attention of
late. Shrewd young man. Makes up his Ministry in time.”

Afternoon wore away, Members worn out. At Nine o’Clock, House
Counted Out. Business done.—National Debt Bill read Second Time.

“Bitter” Experiences.—“The will of Mr.
Bass .... the value of the personal estate . . .
£1,830,000.”

Michael Thomas
amounting to over

Nulli Secundus.—No Second Horse for this year’s Derby
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