Punch (91.1886)

July 17, 1886.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

set would be made at the Governors to fill
it. However, it is to be presumed that
competition is stiff in the City as everywhere
else, and that some poor wretch will be found
willing to undertake the job at the figure
named; but it is to be hoped that though he
understands he is to consider his whole time
as "engaged by the Governors," he will
make a successful stand for "some relaxa-
tion at the vacations," — and, coiite que
coiite, secure it.

PILLS AND PUPILS.

As there seems to be some doubt about
the time in which the staff of the Royal
Holloway College will be in full working
order, Mr. Punch has much pleasure in
jotting down a few questions, which to-
gether can serve, in the interim, as an
Examination Paper for Candidates for
admission:—■

1. "Who was the late Mr. Hollow ay, and
why did he assume the title of Professor ?

2. Trace the connection between the con-
sumption of pills and the use of ointment
with the opening of a "Sanatorium" for
the cure of the Insane, at Virginia "Water.

3. Given four thousand hungry and
thirsty visitors, state how many slices of
bread-and-butter, ham sandwiches, and
jugs of " Claret cup" will be sufficient to
furnish them with evening lunch."

4. If you do not pass this examination,
will it be correct to declare that you have
been "pilled"?

5. If you are admitted, do you think it
probable that you will be able to read the
books of a Library containinar no volumes,
or to listen to the lectures by Professors who
have no existence ?

g. Last, and before all, say when you
think Mr. Martin-Holloway will be made
a Baronet by carrying out the directions of
his" relative's " will, and whether you are
quite sure that the title will be bestowed
within a fortnight.

BAD FOB, BURMAH.

Items of News a la Mode.

Desultory fighting is again reported
from the whole of the Kyouksai district,
and small bodies of our troopsare, as usual,
daily captured and cut down in out-of-the-
way places.

The Lieutenant in command of a survey-
ing party near the Tewoon Pagoda has been
attacked and seized, together with his sub-
ordinates, and carried off by Shans. A flying
column has been sent in pursuit, but being
down with sunstroke after a three-mile
march, it is not expected that it will hear
anything of the fugitives.

Steps have at length been taken to pro-
vide an adequate Civil Staff for the Chind-
win district of Upper Burmah, and a Com-
missioner has been appointed, who will have
as complete control as he can exercise over
52,000 square miles of country. It is
loped that when he is able to visit every
portion of it in turn, the best administra-
tive results may be looked for. Incendiary

£e3 ,°°?tulue with unabated vigour in and
about Mandalay. The police express their
inability either to prevent them or to put
them out.

The General commanding the district,
taking awalk yesterday, was carried off by
some bhans, and has not been heard of
since.

The Alompra Prince' having put in an
appearance with a considerable force in the

' SARCASTIC OLD THING!"

Husband "I have been making my Will, Dear. Leaving you everything, with

All-—FULL POWERPC* re-marry-" Wife. " OH. burling, never !

Husband "Yes, Love. And"—[with a sardonic chuckle) in that case I shall feel

ass™there WILL REATLEASTtoEJV^llj^^

vicinity of Thayetmyo, a small detachment was sent to dislodge him, but, owing to the
condition of the j ungle, the whole of it was in hospital at the time our reporter left.

A later despatch announces that what remained of it after a six days' siege has been
surrounded by Dacoits, and cut to pieces.

The Chief Commissioner at Mandalay having applied for, but having been refused by the
Indian Government, the assistance of sixteen deputies, whose presence he alleges is absolutely
necessary to enable him to grapple with the merest details of his work, is confined to his bed
with fever, induced by over-pressure and worry.

The attitude of the population is hostile and sullen, and nightly outrages continue with
impunity. At the moment of the dispatch of our letter the outlook is not either encouraging
or hopeful.

A Model Prelate.—Of the late Cardinal Guibeut, the Paris Correspondent of the Horning
Post wrote, " He leaves no fortune, having spent all he possessed on the poor." Highly-salaried
Ecolesiastical Dignitaries, and Comfortably-off Clergy generally, " Please copy."