Punch (94.1888)

90_PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [February 25, 18S8.

M H ill I '■'"'I

TWO FAMOUS TRYSTING-SPOTS.

Colonel Sir Talbot Ironsides (of the Scotch Blues) and young Reginald Strongi'th'arm (of the Life Guards Grey)
are the two finest men in london, and as such are visible a long way off ; so that, in crowded ball-room*, young
prople have got into a way of making use off them, saying to each other, as the case may be—" meet me at slr talbot
for the Highland Schottische !" or ''Bb at Reggie Strongi'th'arm at a Quarter past Twelve, and I will come and take
you down to Supper." &c, &o. _

"SUCH GOOD BOYS!"

Oh, please, Sir! Oh, don't, Sir! You will not want that, Sir,
That nasty new birch hung up there on the wall.

Lot ! you might as well threaten poor hoys with the " Cat," Sir.
We 're sure that this half you won't need it at all.

"We mean to be good, oh, we do, Sir, indeed 1
{Aside.)

Keep it up, keep it up, and we 're bound to succeed I

So naughty last term ? Well, we fear that we were, Sir.

The tasks, Sir, you see, were so thundering stiff.
Ah. yes, we did, some of us, Sir, play the bear. Sir.

The naughty pea-shooter, the nasty sly whiff ?
Quite true ; hut this half we shall all be all right.

[Aside.)

Now then, you young fool, keep that squirt out of sight!

You see, Sir, last term, Sir, the Masters were new, Sir:

We hadn't got used to 'em, Sir, that's a fact.
Took sights at yourself on the sly, Sir ? Too true, Sir.

(No use to deny it when caught in the act.)
But never again, Sir, will I " cut a snook."
at xt. „ (Aside.)
Now then, Charlie, put on a pleasanter look!

It wasn't me, Sir, as I told you last term, Sir.

'Twas—well, never mind, for a fellow can't sneak;
But, when a chap s wrongfully charged—well, a worm, Sir,

Will turn, Sir, at that. But I do feel so meek,
So mild, so magnanimous, somehow, this half!

{Aside.)

Now then, stash that grin, or he '11 think it's all chaff!

Me keep them in order, Sir I _ Well, Sir, I tried, Sir,
But nothing like what I will try, Sir, this time.

I ve got all the best highest boys on my side, Sir.

There's Morley and Hahcourt, Sir! Oh, Sir, it's prime,
Why even Pabnell, here, means working like fun.
{Aside.)

Back up, or he '11 twig you as sure as a gun!

We 're all simply longing for lessons, Sir, yes, Sir,
Just ain't we, now, Chaelie ? We '11 work, day and night,

And if, Sir, you Masters should get in a mess, Sir,
We'll labour like niggers to put the things right,

For oh, Sir I we do take such pride in the School!

{Aside.)

Don't scowl, or you'll crab the whole thing, you young fool!

The old rod worn out ? Oh, now come, don't say that, Sir.

There's lots of it left, all you'll wan't, Sir, I'm sure.
A Master so nice in that seat never sat, Sir.

(He grins like a plump Cheshire Cat, the old Cure!)
We '11 help you to make it a rare term all round.

(Aside.)

He'll say so before we have done, I '11 be bound!

DonH take down that birch; it's as big as a broom, Sir;

Disgrace to the School to require such a thing.
Perhaps for improvement there may be some room, Sir ;

But all the bad boys, Sir, last half had their fling.
Now, Paddies and all, we mean being so good I
{Aside.)

But don't holloa, old boy, till you're out of the Wood I

The St. Martinet oe Tours.—The "Grand Tour" used to be
considered indispensable as the finish of polite education. It is
equally valuable nowadays, and raw young lads have only to be
handed over to a Cook, and. after one good turn they '11 be fit for
any table.