DOI issue:
April 27, 1889
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17687#0213
Apbil 27, 1889. ] PUNCH, OR, THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
203
RINT !
Saxon Subscriber (to an Irish “Fishery”) reads Notice-Board! Tableau!
IN THEIR EASTER EGGS.
The Emperor of Germany.—Rules of the
new Imperial “Peace-Game” quite lately
introduced at Berlin.
The Shah.—A Cook’s circular Tourist’s
Ticket, including; second-class hotel accom-
modation for himself and a select Court suite
of sixty followers, in lieu of the usual pro-
vision for their entertainment at the leading'
Royal and Imperial Palaces of Europe.
General Boulanger.—An entirely new and
original Yariety Entertainment, with various
dress-disguises complete, for the purpose of
recreating and astonishing the Parisian public,
pending the progress of the forthcoming
Exhibition.
King Milan.—A Jerusalem “pony,” and
hunch of the local artichokes, presented to
him by the leading “ Orthodox” ecclesiastics
on the occasion of his approaching visit to
Palestine.
Sir E. J. Reed.—A thorough show-up of
Mr. White’s scheme for making good the
existing deficiencies of the Navy.
Mr. White.—A crushing rejoinder to Sir
E. J. Reed’s reckless and inconclusive
criticism.
Duke of Nassau.—Shilling Handbook to
the Management of a New Duchy and Minor
Potentates’ Guide. (New Edition, with
French Notes.)
Sultan of Zanzibar.—Small Dictionary of
Elementary Diplomatic Phrases for use in
negotiations with the officials of the German
East African Company.
Mr. Raikes.—Thanks of the British public
penned to him on one of his own promised
new halfpenny post-cards, which really costs
only a half-penny.
Prince Bmnarck.—Prize Popular Lecture
on the “ Dangers and Difficulties of Colonisa-
tion,” assisted with Magic Lantern slides
powerfully illustrating some recent German
experiences.
Captain Aitchinoff.—Apology from the
French Naval Commander in the Red Sea,
and a cheque for the alleged missing 45,000
roubles.
Mr. John Albert Bright.—New set of
Elastic Principles for occasional use when
addressing his Tory constituents.
Lord Charles Beresford.— Presentation
Pamphlet, entitled, One Hundred Ways of
Knocking an Enemy's Battle-Ship into a
Cocked Hat, with copious illustrations.
The Chancellor of the Exchequer.—Prize
for the discovery of the secret of how to
make up the deficiencies of the Budget,
without clapping an extra penny on the
Income Tax.
Captain Kane [of the Calliope).—A step
up, and good service medal for having, by
his pluck and judgment rescued his crew
and ship from disaster in the recent hurri-
cane off Samoa.
Lady Sandhurst.—A short and not obscure
Act of Parliament asserting her equal eligi-
bility with members of the “male sex” to
the post of a London County Councillor.
Mr. W. H. Smith.—Prize Penny Novelette
entitled, The Advantages of Eminent Re-
spectability ; or, the Story of the good
Mediocre Statesman who always endeavoured
to do his Duty.
Mr. Balfour.—A few more coercive moves
for the irritation of the Irish Party.
A?id the Lrish Party.—A fresh crop of
curses to be hurled at the head of Mr.
Balfour.
EXTREMES MEET.
[A Correspondent (“C.”), writing to the Morn-
ing Post, suggests that Mr. H. M. Stanley’s
account of the “ venomous, cowardly, and thievish ”
dwarfs found in the Congo region, is a confirma-
tion of Herodotus.]
Athwart two thousand years you smile and
nod at us,
“ Good old ” Herodotus ;
Through some months’ mists we see your
figure manly,
Intrepid Stanley ;
But, youthful Yank and aged Sire of History,
The Land of Mystery
Links you in secular bonds inseparable.
Fact bears out “Fable.”
Halicarnassian credulous and chatty,
Stanley’s Wambatti,
Told of in your old time, would have been
And coldly flouted [scouted
As figments of some wild extravaganza.
But the Nyanza
Is near to us to-day, like Nile and Congo.
Scarce can we wrong go,
So-deemed inventor of the Traveller’s
“thumper,”
In brimming bumper
To Afric’s earliest limner and its latest;
And though thou datest
Twenty-three centuries ago, or thereabout,
Thou wouldst not care about
That trifle, who didst scribble that men’s
Their feats and factions, [actions,
“Might not by time be all effaced.” Dear
Let no goose-gabbler [babbler,
Of a too sapient pundit perk proboscis
If Punchius tosses
A brimmer to two travellers wise and manly,
“ Herodotus and Stanley !!! ”
203
RINT !
Saxon Subscriber (to an Irish “Fishery”) reads Notice-Board! Tableau!
IN THEIR EASTER EGGS.
The Emperor of Germany.—Rules of the
new Imperial “Peace-Game” quite lately
introduced at Berlin.
The Shah.—A Cook’s circular Tourist’s
Ticket, including; second-class hotel accom-
modation for himself and a select Court suite
of sixty followers, in lieu of the usual pro-
vision for their entertainment at the leading'
Royal and Imperial Palaces of Europe.
General Boulanger.—An entirely new and
original Yariety Entertainment, with various
dress-disguises complete, for the purpose of
recreating and astonishing the Parisian public,
pending the progress of the forthcoming
Exhibition.
King Milan.—A Jerusalem “pony,” and
hunch of the local artichokes, presented to
him by the leading “ Orthodox” ecclesiastics
on the occasion of his approaching visit to
Palestine.
Sir E. J. Reed.—A thorough show-up of
Mr. White’s scheme for making good the
existing deficiencies of the Navy.
Mr. White.—A crushing rejoinder to Sir
E. J. Reed’s reckless and inconclusive
criticism.
Duke of Nassau.—Shilling Handbook to
the Management of a New Duchy and Minor
Potentates’ Guide. (New Edition, with
French Notes.)
Sultan of Zanzibar.—Small Dictionary of
Elementary Diplomatic Phrases for use in
negotiations with the officials of the German
East African Company.
Mr. Raikes.—Thanks of the British public
penned to him on one of his own promised
new halfpenny post-cards, which really costs
only a half-penny.
Prince Bmnarck.—Prize Popular Lecture
on the “ Dangers and Difficulties of Colonisa-
tion,” assisted with Magic Lantern slides
powerfully illustrating some recent German
experiences.
Captain Aitchinoff.—Apology from the
French Naval Commander in the Red Sea,
and a cheque for the alleged missing 45,000
roubles.
Mr. John Albert Bright.—New set of
Elastic Principles for occasional use when
addressing his Tory constituents.
Lord Charles Beresford.— Presentation
Pamphlet, entitled, One Hundred Ways of
Knocking an Enemy's Battle-Ship into a
Cocked Hat, with copious illustrations.
The Chancellor of the Exchequer.—Prize
for the discovery of the secret of how to
make up the deficiencies of the Budget,
without clapping an extra penny on the
Income Tax.
Captain Kane [of the Calliope).—A step
up, and good service medal for having, by
his pluck and judgment rescued his crew
and ship from disaster in the recent hurri-
cane off Samoa.
Lady Sandhurst.—A short and not obscure
Act of Parliament asserting her equal eligi-
bility with members of the “male sex” to
the post of a London County Councillor.
Mr. W. H. Smith.—Prize Penny Novelette
entitled, The Advantages of Eminent Re-
spectability ; or, the Story of the good
Mediocre Statesman who always endeavoured
to do his Duty.
Mr. Balfour.—A few more coercive moves
for the irritation of the Irish Party.
A?id the Lrish Party.—A fresh crop of
curses to be hurled at the head of Mr.
Balfour.
EXTREMES MEET.
[A Correspondent (“C.”), writing to the Morn-
ing Post, suggests that Mr. H. M. Stanley’s
account of the “ venomous, cowardly, and thievish ”
dwarfs found in the Congo region, is a confirma-
tion of Herodotus.]
Athwart two thousand years you smile and
nod at us,
“ Good old ” Herodotus ;
Through some months’ mists we see your
figure manly,
Intrepid Stanley ;
But, youthful Yank and aged Sire of History,
The Land of Mystery
Links you in secular bonds inseparable.
Fact bears out “Fable.”
Halicarnassian credulous and chatty,
Stanley’s Wambatti,
Told of in your old time, would have been
And coldly flouted [scouted
As figments of some wild extravaganza.
But the Nyanza
Is near to us to-day, like Nile and Congo.
Scarce can we wrong go,
So-deemed inventor of the Traveller’s
“thumper,”
In brimming bumper
To Afric’s earliest limner and its latest;
And though thou datest
Twenty-three centuries ago, or thereabout,
Thou wouldst not care about
That trifle, who didst scribble that men’s
Their feats and factions, [actions,
“Might not by time be all effaced.” Dear
Let no goose-gabbler [babbler,
Of a too sapient pundit perk proboscis
If Punchius tosses
A brimmer to two travellers wise and manly,
“ Herodotus and Stanley !!! ”