Punch (98.1890)

January I, 1890.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

JOURNAL OF A ROLLING STONE.

Fourth Entey.

Have for a considerable time past been " eating dinners," prepa-
ratory to being " called " to the Bar. Understand now what people
mean when they talk of a " Digest of the Law."

Find myself (on dining for the first time this Term) in a mess with
a highly-intelligent native of India, another man up from Oxford,
and an African law-student. Latter black and curly, but good-
natured. Says there is a great demand for English-made barristers
on the Gambia, and he's going to supply the demand.

Have wild and momentary idea of going to the Gambia myself.

" Why," I ask this enterprising negro, " why don't English bar
risters—white ones, I mean—go and practise there?" Feel that
reference to colour is not felicitous; still, difficult to express the idea
otherwise.

African doesn't mind. _ Shows all his teeth in a broad grin, and
says, " Inglis men die, die like flies, on the Gambia."

Curious to see the Hindoo law-student looking contemptuously at
African ditto. Hindoo a shrewd fellow. Talks English perfectly.
Rather given to gesticulate. Waves his arms, and incidentally
knocks over a bottle of the claret—at t welve shillings a dozen—which
the Inn kindly supplies to wash down the mutton and baked potatoes
at our two-shilling meal. Hindoo laughs. Tells me, confidentially,
that he has practised as a "Vakeel" (whatever that is) in some
small country town in Bengal. "Why has he come over here P Oh,
to be called. Will get more work and more pay, when a full-fledged
barrister. Gather that there are rival " Vakeels" in Bengal whom
he wants to cut out. He intends "cutting out"—to India—directly
he is called.

Oxford man tells me in a whisper that "he believes he's a
Baboo." Indeed! Don't feel much wiser for the information.

African getting jealous of Baboo's fluent talk. Rather a sportive
negro, it appears. Says he goes to theatre nearly every night. Has
a regular and rather festive programme for each day.

" Lecture, morning," he says ; " afternoon, walk in Park, some-
times ride. Night, theatre or music-hall." He grins like an amiable
gargoyle. In his own country African law-student must be quite a
lady-killer—a sort of Gambia masher.

Incidentally mention to Hindoo difficulty of law of Real Property,
especially " Rule in Shelley's Case."

It seems Hindoo understands matter perfectly. Begins to explain
the "Rule in Shelley's Case." Does it by aid of two salt-cellars
(to represent the parties) and a few knives (to represent collateral
relatives).

African masher more jealous. Laughs at Baboo's explanation.
He and Baboo exchange glances of hatred. African, who is carving,
brandishes knife. Is he going to plunge it into heart of Baboo just
as he's got through his explanation ? Looks like it, as the shilling

claret seems to have got into place where we may suppose African's
brain to be. However, dinner ends without a catastrophe.

After attending the usual amount of legal lectures, the "Final"
Exam, approaches.

Get through the papers pretty well. Thank goodness, no question
asked so far about that Rule in Shelley's Case," which is my
" Pons Asinorum/" It'sa " rule" to which I take great exception.

There's a " Viva Voce" to come, however. Hate viva voce.
Two examiners sit at end of Hall—students called up in batches of
half-a-dozen at a time. Very nervous work. Find, when my turn
comes, that the intelligent Baboo is in the same lot! Appears to
like the position. From his manner I should judge that he'd been
doing nothing all his life but being examined by fifties in a cave,
like this.

Examiner who tackles me has an eye-glass.

" Now, Mr. Joynson," he remarks, putting it up to survey me
better, "if you were a trustee, &c, &c, what would you do f "

Flattered at the supposition. Answer in a way which seems to
partly satisfy Examiner, who passes on to next man with a new
question. In a minute or two my turn comes round again.

"Now, Mr. Joynson," Examiner again observes cheerfully, "let
me ask you quite an elementary question in Real Property. Just
give me a brief, a very brief, explanation of what you understand
by the Rule in Shelley's Case ! "

But I don't understand anything by it! It's a piece of hopeless
legal gibberish to me. I stammer out some attempt at an answer,
and see Baboo looking at me with a pitying, almost reproachful,
glance. "Didn't I," he seems to say, "explain it all to you once
at dinner? Do you really mean to say that you've forgotten the
way in which I arranged the salt-cellars and the table-knives, and
how I turned the whole case inside out for your benefit ? "

I admit the offence. Examiner seems surprised at my ignorance—
informs me that "it's as easy as A.B.C." It may be—to him
and the Baboo.

Baboo, being asked the same question, at once explains the whole
matter, this time without the aid of the salt-cellars and cutlery.

A few days later go to look at result of examination. Result,
for me—a Plough!

Walking away dejectedly—(" homeward the Plough-man wends
his legal way"—as Geay sympathetically put it)—meet African
law-student, who grins insanely. He doesn't sympathise in my
defeat. Shows his fine set of ivories and says :—

" Me failed too. Me go back Gambia. Vou come back with me!"

Tell him I'm not " called " yet: certainly not called to Gambia.

" Then come to Alhambra!" he suggests, as a sort of alternative
to a visit to the tropics.

African student evidently still a masher. Decline his invitation
with thanks. Wouldn't be seen with him at a theatre for worlds I
Depressed. Don't even look in at Gaiety Bar, No Gaiety for me
—and no " Bar " either, it seems.

vol. xevm.

it