Punch (98.1890)

June 7, 1890.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI _aw

VOCES POPULI.

AT THE ROYAL ACADEMY.
In the Vestibule.
Visitors ascending staircase, full of enthusiasm and energetic deter-
mination not to miss a single Picture, encounter people descending
in various stages of mental and physical exhaustion. At the
turnstiles two Friends meet unexpectedly; both being shy men,
who, with timely notice, would have preferred to avoid one
another, their greetings are marked by an unnatural effusion,
and followed by embarrassed silence.

First Shy Man {to break the spell). Odd, our running up against
one another like this, eh ?

Second Shy Man. Oh, very odd. {Looks about him irresolutely,
and wonders if it would be decent to pass on. Decides it will hardly
do.) Great place for meeting, the Academy, though.

First S. M. Yes ; sure to come across somebody, sooner or later.

[Laughs nervously, and wishes the other would go.

Second S. M, {seeing that his friend lingers). This your first visit
here ?

First S. M. Yes. Couldn't very well get away before, you know.

[Feels apologetic, without exactly knowing why.
Second S. M. It's my first visit, too. {Sees no escape, and resigns
himself.) Er—we may as well go round together, eh ?

In Galleby No. II.
The S. L. {doubtfully). H'm, No. 156. " Cloud Chariots" ? Not
very like chariots, though, are they ? .... .

Her Friend. I expect it's one of those sort of pictures that you
have to look at a long time, and then things gradually come out ot
it, you know. . „ , ,, ,

The S. L. It may he. {Tries the experiment.) No, 1 can t make
anything come out—only just clouds and their reflections. (Struggling
between good-nature and conscientiousness.) I don't think 1 can
mark that.

In Gaixeby No. III.
A Matron {before Mr. Dicksee's " Tannhauser"). '; Venus and
Tannhauser "—ah, and is that Venus on the stretcher ? Oh, that s
her all on fire in the background. Then which is Tannhauser, and
what are they all supposed to be doing ? [In a tone of irritation.

Her Nephew. Oh, it tells you all about it in the Catalogue—he
meets her funeral, you know, and leaves grow on his stick.
The Matron {pursing her lips). Oh, a dead person.

[Repulses the Catalogue severely and passes on-
First Person, with an "Eye for Art" {before " Pysche's Bath,"
by the President). Not bad, ehP

Second Person, fyc. No, I rather like it. {Feels that he is grow-
ing too lenient.) He doesn't give you a very good idea of marble,
,though.

First S. M. {who was afraid this was coming— \M- First P. 6}c. ~No—that's not marble, and he always

heartily). Good! By the way, I always think, on a jWWki puts too many folds in his drapery to suit me.

first visit, it's best to take a single room, and do that Jsi&Mflik. ^rst ^' fc" ^ust w^at * say* ^'s n0*

thoroughly. [This has only just occurred to him. JifiSW^ natural, you know. [They pass on, much pleased with

Second S. M. (who had been intending to follow that _J*S§k * , i themselves and one another,

plan himself). Oh, do you? Now, for my part, I ^cs<fE»MMy-;- -4 Fiance {halting before a sea-scape, by Mr. Henby

don't attempt to see anything thoroughly the first ^^"~t-m-i , , Moobe, to Fiancee). Here, I say, hold on a bit—what's

time. Just scamper through, glance at the things K|g| [JSraik this one ?

one oughtn't to miss, get a general impression, and iaH ((gflj?^^ Fiancee (who doesn't mean to waste the whole after-

come away. Then, if I don't happen.;to come again, noon over pictures). Why, it's only a lot of waves—

I've always done it, you see. But (considerately), y^sssIpIIMwI Is^V come on!

look here. Don't let me drag you about, if you 'd WSM^Imf) *\-~) The Suburban L. Ltjct, this is rather nice,

rather not! iillSffiiiilpY L ^ " Breakfastsfor the Porth!" (Pondering.) I think

First S. M. Oh, but I shouldn't like to feel I was A ii | HWil *x there must be a mistake in the Catalogue-I don't see
any tie on you. Don't you mind about me. I shall ^ | /MH\4 li\ any breakfast things—they're cleaning fish, and
potter about in here—for hours, I dareBay, ^11 mWIP what's a " Porth! " Would you mark that—or not ?

Second S. 31. Ah, well (with vague consolation), I M i f /JfgflBBi^ H% Her Comp. Oh, I think so.
shall always know where to find you, I suppose. W I\m?iWg^~ BP The S. L. I don't know. I've marked suoh a
First S. M. (brightening visibly). Oh dear, yes; I Say w*™™ quantity already and the lead won't hold out much

shan't be far away. ' WSI llte^^K longer. Oh, it's by Hook, B,. A. Then I suppose it's

[They part with mutual relief, only tempered by the ^ f'Wijffl 'Sllllp^ sure to be all right. I 've marked it, dear.

necessity of following the course they have respec- ^ y^^HraWIV^ Duet by Two Dreadfully Severe Young Ladies,

lively prescribed for themselves. Nemesis overtakes JmA V \ who paint a little on China. Oh, my dear, look at that.

the Second S. M. in the next Gallery, when he is 'SspiPlf"^ £yV-» Did you ever see such a thing P Isn't it too perfectly

captured by a Desultory Enthusiast, who insists ^m^£> awful f And there's a thing ! Do come and look at

" this horror over here. A " Study," indeed. I should just think it
was ! Oh, Maggie, don't be so satirical, or I shall die! No, but do
just see this—isn't it killing ? They get worse and worse every year,
I declare ! [And so on.

In Galleby No. V.

(Two Prosaic Persons come upon a little^ picture, by Mr. Swan, of a
boy lying on a rock, piping to fishes.)
First P. P. That's a rum thing !

Second P. P. Yes, I wasn't aware myself that fishes were so
partial to music.

First P. P. They may be—out there—(perceiving that the boy is
unclad)—but it's peculiar altogether—they look like herrings to me.

Second P. P. Yes—or mackerel. But (tolerantly) I suppose it's
a fancy subject. [They consider that this absolves them from taking
any further interest in it, and pass on.
In Gaixeby No. XI.
An Old Lady (who judges Art from a purely Moral Standpoint,
halts approvingly before a picture of a female orphan). Now, that
really is a nice picture, my dear—a plain black dress and white cuffs
—just what I like to see in a young person!

The S. L. (her enthusiasm greatly on the wane, and her temper
slightly affected). Lucy, I wish you wouldn't worry so—it's quite
impossible to stop and look at everything. If you wanted your tea
as badly as J do! Mark that one ? What, when they neither of
them have a single thing on! Never, Lucy,—and I'm surprised at
your suggesting it! Oh, you meant the next one ? h'm—no, I can't
say I care for it. Well, if I do mark it, I phall only put a tick—for
it really is not worth a cross'

Coming Out.

The Man who always makes the Right Remark. H'm. Haven't
seen anything I could carry away with me.

His Flippant Friend. Too many people about, eh ? Never mind,

upon dragging him all over the place to see obscure "bits" and
gems," which are only to be appreciated by ricking the neck or
stooping painfully.

A Suburban Lady (to Female Friend). Oh dear, how stupid of me!
1 quitei forgot to bring a pencil! Oh, thank you, dear, that will do
beautifully. It's just a little blunt; but so long as I can mark with
it, you know. You don't think we should avoid the crush if we
began at the end room P Well, perhaps it is less confusing to begin
at the beginning, and work steadily through.

In Gaixeby No. I.
A small group has collected before Mr. Wyixie's "Davy Jones's
looter wmch they inspect solemnly for some time before ven-
turing to commit themselves to any opinion.

First Visitor (after devoting his ivhole mind to the subject). Why,
it's the Bottom of the Sea-at least (more cautiously), that's what
it) BGGins i)o D6 itit€izds(i lor.

Second V. Ah, and yery well done, too. I wonder, now, how he
managed to stay down long enough to paint all that ?

Third V. Practice, I suppose I've seen writing done under
water myself. But that was a tank!

Fourth V. (presumably in profound allusion to the fishes and sea-
anemones). Well, they seem to be avmg it all their own way down
there, don't they? [The Group, feeling that this remark sums up
the situation, disperses.

The Suburban Lady (her pencil in full play). No. 93. Now what's
that about? Oh, " Forbidden Sweets,"—yes, to be sure. Isn't that
charming? Those two dear little tots having their tea and the
kitten with its head stuck in the jam-pot, and the label and all, and
the sticky spoon on the nursery table-cloth— so natural.' I really
must mark that. (Awards this distinction.) 97. 11 Going up Top."
Yes, of course. Look, Lucy dear, that little fellow has just answered
a question, and his master tells him he may go to the top of the class,
do you see 9 And the big boy looking so sulky, he's wishing he had
learnt his lesson better. I do think it's so clever—all the different .

expressions. Yes, I shall certainly mark that! in offended silence, as scene closes,

old chap, you may manage to sneak an umbrella down-stairs —/
won't say anything! [Disgust of his companion, who descends stairs

vol. xcvin.

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