Punch (98.1890)

Junk 28, 1890.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 301

MODERN TYPES.

(By Mr. Punch's own Type Writer.)
NO. XIV.—THE LADY FROM CLOUDLAND.
At intervals of a few years the torpor of London Society is stirred
by the carefully disseminated intelligence that a new planet has
,,8™ t° twinkle in the firmament of fashion, and the telescopes of
all those who are in search of novelty are immediately directed to
the spot. Partially dropping metaphor, it may he stated that a
hitherto unknown lady emerges, like the planet, from a cloud under
which, as the envious afterwards declare, the greater part of her
previous existence has heen spent. But Society, under the influence
of boredom, is tolerant of new sensations and of those who seek to
provide them. Those who guard its portals are, in these latter days,
bidden not to be over-curious in the inquiries they make of appli-
cants for admission, and eventually it may come to pass that the
approaches and avenues are opened as readily to one who comes

trailing clouds of obscurity, as to her which the great world draws its light

who shines with the steady lustre of |||lijji^>. . i| I U||||l|]p|ilji||i|||||i|| ■ » and warmth. In her third Season

acknowledged position. A 4Kr/pKjr^ I It | p l i P'"l III she is sufficiently secure to introduce

The Lady from Cloudland soars »f ^iH^W'l rpr A into Societ7 her daughter, aged

into the ken of fashion in various ' fp^^^^^^^\'\i^\\\W^\ ti 1 eighteen, who has hitherto (so she

places. Very often she is found for *l&£m \wl I fllrr Ill L will inform her friends) been receiv-

the first time in the little mock ""TH" fMliEJ. ^TOflftll." llp^i1 i_ - mg a good education abroad. Aecom-

temple which pious worshippers at jfl|«f, ^llp^yi^^^isj^^B! <^=-?&A--iT-" Panied by "my little girl," she may

the shrine of rank build for them- W^Wll:s!!^^^viI^im^M%, ' I be seen' 011 fine afternoons, reclining

selves on the Riviera. They have I lluff/M^^ak Xi\- ^ Jy^W^MirTkM^ in her spick and span Victoria, in the
their ceremonial closely copied from W^m///^JUm\\\^^~^Jt^^^ m^B^ °f the crowd in the Ladies'

the London model. They dance, they UamMXmm' Ml W j,W^i^fv^^S^\ ilPrWii^ Mile" Sne is t^us hedged round with
receive, they organise bazaars. They i (-1*i$m'*mf m\vO\\VS /JEpMlinfl a resPeotability which not even in-

launch out into tea-parties, and grow jji :|N)Y ^^I^Wl'fei ->^^^Ji^^£:^^^-'^!ffi«k^!l i l!U!|1^ ^8OTeet inquiries after her late hus-

warm over the discussion of scandals. WffliMlffl band (for it is understood that he

secures a deposed monarch and his consort. She is clever, and knows
well that those whom she seeks to entice will overlook their own
ignorance with regard to her if only they can be certain of being
amused and interested in her house. She, therefore contrives, with-
out transgressing the higher convenances, to banish all ceremonial
stiffness from her parties, and to import in its place an atmosphere
of cheerful gaiety and musical refinement. For, whatever she may
have once been, there can be no doubt that when London makes her
acquaintance she possesses, not only charming manners, but innu-
merable accomplishments which are as salt to the jaded palate of
Society people. Thus she progresses from season to season, and from
success to success.

In her second year she becomes a favoured guest in many country
houses, where an effort is made to relieve the tedium of daily shoot-
ing parties by nightly frivolities. Soon afterwards she is presented
at Court, and becomes herself a patroness to many [foreigners who
desire by the exercise of their talents to make a precarious living in
England. By these she is considered to be one of the suns from

They elect unto themselves leaders, |mS8!i|j|^ died and left her in comfort many

and bow their foreheads to the dust vM^m/Mi 11 iWfflM^//y/y Vx^^^'^^^mKsiv^^ years before) can disturb. She per-

before the golden splendour of an M^^KIJiXMXnmU I'1 )l J \ \ ^X^^M^S^m&'fV^ 1 m*ts ^erself occasionally, it is true,

occasional scion of Royalty; in short, f to join chic parties at fashionable

they cling as closely as foreign skies IffltiMWM^ I Wm II. 'MfvH™V ' restaurants, but these, since they are

and foreign associations permit to the jjSjBK l™|Hffi 7' oiien under titled patronage, can

observances which have made English lHm8|H{|M\H H|I|i J\ scarcely be considered serious lapses

Society pre-eminent in its own respect, JHSIm from propriety. After having herself

and in the good-natured ridicule of f|iffl8*lK|fflH •// 1 presented her daughter at Court, and

less-favoured nations. But since the MjnjJ&K\Is2bis3r \Wr' nl^^^'si^ f-rt^'^/' having given (in London) a party

majority of them have come in search ffifflfjRf .JSHEsS/ l^^^JjrJ'ZrC' '' t? s y which was attended by Royalty, she

of health, they cannot despise or \"Wmt —^-^^—^oalliBC/ is heyond the reach of cavil or

reject one who qualifies for conside- " J//f/>^^\ -=£5^/^ reproach. Here and there a jealous

ration and interest by suffering, and . and disappointed social rival may

who,i to the piquancy of an unknown origin, adds the high recom
mendation of good looks—which are not too good—of a cheerful
temper, and an easy tact, which can only come of much knowledge
of many worlds. Such a one is the Lady from Cloudland. Many
are the questions asked about her, and even more various are the
answers given. " My dear," one lady will say to another, at the
house of a common friend, where the Lady from Cloudland has
become the centre of a throng of admirers, " I hear, on the very best
authority, that her mother used to sell flowers in the City, and that
she herself was for some years a Circus Rider in America. When-
ever I meet her I feel a dreadful inclination to say Soup-Id.', instead
of. How do you do ? " To which her friend will reply that she, on
h5 sl J fa8 heen informed that the lady in question was formerly
attached to the conjugal tribe of an Indian Rajah, and was rescued
by a Russian, whom she shortly afterwards poisoned. They will then
both invite her to their next entertainments, asking her by no means
to forget those delightful Burmese love-ditties which only she can
smg as they ought to be sung.

4. TiLe^av5:Jfrom- C^n^nd, however, does not limit her ambition
to the hybrid Society of the South of France. She intends to make
tor herself a position m London, the Mecca of the aspirant, and she
proposes to use those who thus console themselves with spitefulness
as stepping-stones for the attainment of her object. At the begin-
ning of the following London Season Society will learn, by means of
the usual paragraphs, that Mrs. So-and-So, whose afternoon party

last year in honour of Prince-was one of the most brilliant

successes of a brilliant Riviera Season, has taken the house in May
Fair, formerly occupied by Lord Clanbacket." The reiteration of
this news in many journals will set tongues wagging in London.
Again the same questions will be asked, and different answers will
be returned. In due course she arrives, she receives and is received,
and she conquers. Henceforward her parties become one of the
features of the Season. In rooms arranged tastefully in an Oriental
style, with curtains, hangings, delicately worked embroideries,
woven mats of charming design and tropical plants, she welcomes
the throng who come at her invitation. She moves by degrees.
Contenting herself at first with a small charge d'affaires or a Corean
plenipotentiary, she soon rises to a fully fledged Ambassador and a
bevy oi secretaries and attaches. Her triumph culminates when she

still mutter dark hints about ancient vagaries, and meaning looks
may still be exchanged by male and female gossips, but for the
great mass of those who frequent Society she is as irreproach-
able as though her ancestry for twenty generations had been set
down in the pages of Burke or Debrett. Eventually she marries
her daughter to the younger son of an Earl, and having made of the
marriage festivities the great social function of the Season, she herself
soon afterwards retires to some extent from the business of Society,
and devotes herself chiefly to the cultivation of simple pleasures and
hot-house flowers in a luxurious retreat on the banks of the Thames.

MR. PUNCH'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES.

social.

"Haven't missed a word you said;" t.e., "Gracious! where was
she?" . „ .

"Not exactly pretty, perhaps, but so nice;" i.e., "As pappy in
character as she is plain in face."

Raileoad Amenities.

" No, thanks ; reading in a railway carriage always tries my poor
eyes so;" i.e., " I've better occupation for them just now."

"Pardon my drawing the blind; the glare in a railway carriage
always makes my head ache;" i.e., " Shows up my wrinkles and
moustache-dye."

Theatrical

" She is an intelligent and experienced artist; " i.e., Much too old

for the part. _

Effusive Flatteby.

" Thank you so much for your dear little Book of Poems. I
haven't read them yet, but next time we meet I'll tell you what I
think of them ;" i.e., " I hereby make a solemn resolution, if I can
possibly help it, never to meet you again in this life."

Pebeunctoby Apology.

"Ihope I didn't hurt you. I'm sure I beg your pardon;" i.e.,
" Stupid fool! Serves you right for sticking out your feet, and
tripping up everybody who happens to stumble on to them."

vol. xcvm.

dd