Punch (98.1890)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [January 4, 1890.

FRESH TO THE COUNTRY.

Young Lady. " Cajj you tell me where the Meet is ? "

Butcher s Boy {a recent importation from London). "Yes, Mum, I jist took it hup to the 'All this mornin'I'

THE START.

Off ! Yes; but inexperienced feet,

With pace that's fast and a style that's neat,

At first can scarcely be expected
O'er frozen waters to glide and fleet.

" Have them on, Sir ? " Old Time was there,
"With the shining steels and the ready chair.

His latest pupil is passing yonder,
No more the ice-locked waters to dare.

Sis feet are tired and his knees are stiff,
Sis breath comes low in a wheezy whiff.
He'll now "lay up," like a worn-out
wherry.

'Tis yours to start like a new-launched skiff.

How many a novice that Skate-man old
Has helped to onset alert and bold !

How many a veteran worn seen vanish,
Aching with effort and pinched with cold !

And you, young novice, 'tis now your turn
Your skates to try and your steps to learn.

Yon long to fly like the skimming swallow,
To brave the breathless " scurry" you burn.

He knows, he knows, your aged guide !
The screws are fixed, and the straps are tied,
And he looks sharp out for the shambling
stagger,

The elbows wobbling, the knees too wide.

But boyhood's hopeful, and youth haspluck;
And now, when scarcely your steel hath
struck

The slithery ice in your first bold venture,
Punch, friendly watcher, will wish you luck!

He too has seen some novices start,
And knows, however you play your part,

The " outside edge," and attendant perils,
Will tax your sinews and test your heart.

But most on the ice does the old saw hold—■
" Be bold, be bold, but be not too bold ! "
Though there's many a rotten patch
marked " Danger! "
Young hearts are warm if the weather be cold.

Bravo, youngster I Steady! ' Strike out!
Caution, yes, but not palsying doubt.
Courage! and you—ere your course you
finish—

May beat " Fish" Smart at a flying bout!

ROBERT'S KRISMUS HIM.

How werry warious is the reasons why
We welcoms Crismus with a ringing cheer!

The Skoolboy nos his hollidays is nigh,
And treats the hale stout Porter to sum
Beer.

The Cook and Ousemaid smiles upon the
Baker,

Who takes his little fee without no blush,
Likewise upon the Butcher and Shoo Maker
Who makes their calls dispite the Sno or
Slush.

The Dustman cums a crying out for " Dust,"

But nos full well that isn't wot he seeks,
And gits his well-earned shilling with the
fust,

And smiles on . Mary as his thanks he

The Groser smart, as likewise his Green
Brother,

In their best close cums with a modest ring,
And having got their orders, one and tother,
Smilingly asks for jest one other thing.

The Postman's dubbel nock cums to each door,
Whether he has a Letter got or no,

The stingy Master thinks his call a bore,
And gives his paltry shilling werry slow.

The jowial Waiter shows unwonted joy!

And hails his Crismus with becoming glee!
Knowing full well his plezzurs newer cloy,

Who gets from ewery Gest a dubble fee!

Why are not all men like the jowial Waiter,
Allers content with what kind Fortune
brings,

Whether it's Turtel Soop or a meer tater,
He sets a pattern to Lord Mares and Kings.

Then let us all while Crismus time we 're
keeping,

Whether we barsks in fortune's smile or
frown,

Be thankful for the harwest we are reaping,
And give a thort to them whose luck is down.

Robert.

Historical Parallels.—Two Directories.
The French Directoire was a short-lived stop-
gap of not unmixed benefit to France, but
our English Directory, yclept Kelly's, for
1890, directorily, or indirectorily, supplies all
our wants, comes always "as a boon and a
blessing to men," and is within a decade of
becoming a hale and hearty centenarian.
Vivat Kelly !