Punch (98.1890)

174 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [April 12, 1890.

"THE YOUNG PEOPLE'S ORCHESTRAL CONCERT." ALL INFANT PRODIGIES.

Picture of a Rehearsal, ly One who wasn't there.

AFTER THE REVIEW.

Cul. Punch loquitur : —

The usual Compliments! Of course, of course!

If we could only thrive on casual flattery !
But praise won't raise a troop of foot or horse,

Equip a squadron, Sir, or mount a battery.
Soft words won't butter parsnips—that's

plain speech.
Circumlocution is so hard to teach!

Of course the boya behaved themselves right
well,

'' As usual," so you say with great propriety.
We've heard from many a military swell

And bland civilian, even to satiety,
Similar words ; but if you think that praises
Will satisfy us, you must think us " daisies."

Vulgar vernacular you '11 please excuse,_
Camp-language is not that of a Committee.

If folks conceive we muster to amuse
Cheap-trippers, or ourselves, it is a pity.

'Tis not for Easter sport we toil—and pay,

" Stone-broke to make a British holiday."

Pay ! Yes, we 're out of pocket, some of uj,
More than we can, or than we will, afford.

Patriot spirit does not want to fuss,

But carpet-knight and ornamental Lord

Who for their " work " are well remunerated,

Don't know our case; 'tis time that it were
stated.

When good men are retiring, driven out
From service by extravagant expenses,

The virtues of the System you must doubt,
Or any Englishman who"'s in his senses.

If we are worth our salt, as you assure us,

Surely from pocket-loss you might secure
us!

J'trb. sap., Ask HiMlby; he is " iu the
know," [teach you.

And he has tried— with some success—to
I know the usual flue official flo<v;
'lis time the voice of rough sound sense
should reach you.
A long, harsh dieting of stint and snubbing
for patriot youth is not nutritious "grub-
bing."

Reviewing the Review, you say nice things;
Well, if we've done our duty, do yours
also.

Alternate verbal pats and scornful flings,
Are scarce good policy, or what I call so.

To do our duty is, of course, our pleasure,

But to be fined for doing it's hard measure.

To get ourselves equipped seems hard enough,
But lots of us are always out of pocket

By giving unpiid service! That's sheer
stuff! .
If this shocks Government, I wish to shock
it, [on;

Because improvement hinges truth's success

And this, I think, is a sound Easter Lesson.

AN UNCHRISTIAN C AYE AT.

[Agnes Lambert was charged at Mirylebone
Police Court with stealing a purse at a Confirma-
tion Berrice at Christ Church, Regent's Park.
Mr. E. Beard, banister, submitted that there was
not suffuient evidence for the ca33 to go to a jury,
Mr. B eaud remarking, that the place was a church.
Mr. Marsham retorted, "Yes; and what right
had a woman like her to be there ? "]

What right ? A larguh question, learned
Sir, [mind,
Larger, perchance, than shuc': your legal

Smitten with sudden anger against her
Whose face in such a scene 'twas strange to
find;

Close the Church-doors to creatures of her
kind?

Stay, lihadamanthus ! Pharisaic taste
Is no safe guide to Charity's tiue rule.

Beware, lest like King David, in his haste,
You trnst the zeal experience should school
To thought more kindly and to care more
coo).

What right ? Suppose her sinner, even then

The sacred precinct hath far wider scope
Than any dwelling set apart of men.

This temple is the Lobd's, from base to
cope. [Hope

Here faltering Faith and half-extinguished
Find entrance unrebuked of Charity.
What right ? E'en so Simon the Pharisee

Might have demanded of the Maodalen,
And with a fairer reason. But restrain
The weariest waif from entrance to the fane

Where pure young girls come for a special
grace,

Whither the smug-faced citizen may pace,
The modish lady trail her silken skirt f

Nay, Sir, it is too arbitrary-rash,

This caveat, and with Charity must clash,
Here sinful souls and spirits sorely hurt

Find their last refuge and sole hope.
Wherefore

Against no soul that suffers close that door!
Let Magdalen look on, if so she please,
At these pure maidens. Can it injure these ?
Whilst the scene's influence on her spirit dark
Not Rhadamanthus in his seat may mark.

Another "Count Out."—Herbebt Bis-
mabck.