Punch (98.1890)

218 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHAEIVARI. [Mat io, 1890.

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PRIMROSE'S PEEP-SHOW.

(Vide Lord Mosebery's resume" of the year's work of the
London County Council.)
Mastee Bull loquitur:—
Humph ! Show is very passable, no doubt;
,„An°- as T0U PnU the strings, my clever Showman,
Tis clear that you know what you are about,

Sense's sworn friend, and babbling folly's foemaD.
The slides, as worked by you, seem mighty fine,

A trifle vague, perhaps, in composition,
Sloppy in colouring, and weak in line,

As is the civic peep-show's old tradition ;
Still there is graphic vigour here and there,

Perspective, and a general sense of " movement."
On the old " Shirker " Show, 'tis only fair

To own, it evidences some improvement.
Plenty of slides! there is no doubt of that ;

In fact one questions if there are too many.
Yes, I shall find when you pass round the hat,

The price is more than the old-fashioned Penny.
i pay my money and [ take my—choice ?

Well no, it won't quite fit, that fine old patter.
Still, if your Show proves good, I shall rejoioe ;

A trifling rise in fee won't greatly matter,
If 'tis not too "progressive" (as you say).

To stump up for sound work I'm always willing;
But though, of course, a Penny may not pay.

One wants a first-class Peep-Show for a Shilling!
Some of your novel slides are rather nice,

Some of them, on the other hand, look funny.
I felt grave doubts about 'em once or twice.

I don't want muddlers to absorb my money.
However, as I said, 'tis very clear

As puller of the strings you yield to no man.
The Show seems promising, if rather dear,

But anyhow it has a first-rate Showman!

uncertainties of arithmetic.

Schoolmaster. Yes ; but look here, my Boy. Supfose I were to lend
your Father Five Hundred Pounds, let us say,—without Interest,—but
ok condition that he should pay me Ten Pounds a Week. How much
would he still Owe me in Two Months?"

New Boy. " Fivk Hundrfd Pounds, Sir 1"

Schoolmaster. "Tut 1 tut! My Boy, you don't know the First Prin-
ciples of Arithmetic 1" New Boy. " You don't know my Father, Sir 1 "

"So Engelish you know!" exclaims the Baron de
B. W., on seeing the advertisement of Dr. Louis Engel's
new book from Handel to Halle. " It will be interest-
ing," says the Baron, "to note how much of Handel's
popularity^ was due to that particular inspiration of
genius which caused him to use the name of the future
composer and pianist iu one of his greatest works,
namely, the celebrated ' Hallelujah Chorus.' For this
magnificent effort would have been only half the chorus
it is without ' Halle ' to commenoe it."

GRANDOLPH GOODFELLOW j

Or, Puck at the Spigot.
[Shalcspeare adapted to the situation )

Sung. Either I mistake your shape and making quite,
Or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite
Called Grandolph: Goodfellow. Are you not he
That did your best to spill Lord S-l-sb-m ?
Gave the Old Tory party quite a turn,
And office with snug perquisites did spurn ?
And now you 'dmake Strong Drink to bear no barm
(Or proper profit.) You would do us harm.
Those tbat Hobgoblin call you, and sly Puck,
Are right; you always bring your friends bad luok.
Are you not he ?

Puck. By Jove, thou speak'st aright;
I am that merry wanderer full of spite.
I jest unto the Plebs and make it smile.
Old, fat, and bean-fed Tories I beguile,
And lead them to a Democratic goal.
Now I am " going for" the flowing bowl.
E'en W-lfr-d owns I am " upon the job."
I mean to save the workman many a " bob."
But, lessening his chance of toping ale,
The Witler tells his pals the saddest tale.
Bacchus for his true friend mistaketh me,
Then step I from his side, down topples he,
And " Traitor 1" cries, and swears I did but chaff,
And the Teetotallers hold their sides and laugh,
And ohortle in their joy, and shout, and swear
That Grandolph Goodfellow's a spirit rare.
But room, old boy, the Second Reading's on.

Bung. He is a trickster:—"Would that he were gone!

MR. PUNCH'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES.
Social.

" Dear me, how surprisingly your voice has strengthened since
Hast heard you sing;" i.e., "Roars like a town-bull, and fancies
himself a Lablache !"

" I saw quite a ring round your picture at the Academy to-day , "
i e., " If only he had heard them laugh! "

" Won't you stop and have some lunch?" i.e., "Couldn't help
asking him, as the oonfounded luncheon-bell rang a peal; but if he
has any manners' or consideration he '11 say, ' No, thank you,'
and go."

" I know your face so well—but lam such a bad hand at names;"
i.e., " Never saw him before in my life! "

"Pray allow me to get it;" i.e., " Catch me moving! "

" You know you can trust me implicitly : " i.e., "May be a good
story to tell."

" He has such wonderful wit;" i.e., "An unfailing flow of rude-
ness which he calls repartee."

" Mather satirical, yes; but she has marvellous insight into cha-
racter ;" i.e., " She has been complimenting me,"

PlATFORMtTLARS.

" These, then, are the arguments;" i.e., "They're all yawning—
must end somehow."

" A crushing reply ;" i.e., a retort discourteous, in which all the
points of the attack are adroitly evaded.

" After the magnificent oration to which we have just listened with
so much delight, I feel that anything that I can say must be in the
nature of an anti-climax;" i.e., "Confound him! Why will he
take all the 'fat' to himself, and cut the ground from under
a fellow's feet?"

"J have the greatest possible pleasure in presiding over this

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