March 29, 1890.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

153

PLAYING DARK.

{New Style.)

The great success which, in their own estimation, has attended
the endeavour to establish a series of Night Field Sports in the
neighbourhood of Melton Mowbray, so dashinglyled oil recently

across country
Steeple Chase,
"by lamplight,"
has, it is said, in-
duced the spirited
organisers to ex-
tend their field of
experiment; and
it is alleged that
tennis, golf,
hockey, and foot-
ball are all to be
tried in turn,
under the new
conditions.^ That
jH some excitement

the projected contests may be gathered from a reference to the
subjoined score, put on paper by the newly constituted Helton
Mowbray Midnight Eleven," who, in a recent trial ot strength
with a distinguished local Club, it will be seen, _ showed- some
capital, if original play, in meeting their opponents in the national
game, conducted under what must have been necessarily somewhat
novel and unfamiliar conditions.

The boundaries of the field in which the wickets were pitched
were marked out with night-lights, the only other illumination being
supplied by a couple of moderator lamps, held respectively by the
Umpire and Square-leg. The costume, of course, comprised a night-
shirt and a pair of bed-room slippers, with which was also worn a pink
dressing-gown,—pink being the colour adopted by the Club. Owing
to the absence of any moon, and also to the fact that the night was a
rather boisterous one, on account of the persistency both of wind
and rain, the play suffered from some disadvantages. However, the
Eleven went pluckily to the wicket with the following result :—
Mr. Geobge P-g-t, mistaking, in the obscurity, the Umpire for
his wicket, gets out of his ground, and is instantly stumped

out............0

Mr. Sydney P-g-t treads on his wicket.....0

Mr. Otto P-g-t takes the "Wicket-keeper's head for the ball,
and trying to " play it to leg," gives it in consequence such
a severe blow, that he is obliged to accompany the Wicket-
keeper in a cab to a hospital without finishing his innings . 0

Mr. W. Ch-pl-n treads on his wicket......0

Count Z-bb-ski makes 497 in one hit. The ball being, however,
only three yards off, but escaping notice, owing to the dark-
. ness. he is kept on the move for twenty-nine min. and a half 497

Mr. A. B-bn-by stumbles over his wicket.....0

M.r. G. W-ls-n sits on his wicket......0

Captain R-b-ns-n run out through losing his way in trying to
find the wicket . . , . . . . . .0

Mr. E. H-n-age trying a forward drive, but not able to see,
plays the whole of his wicket into the face of cover-point,
whombe severely bruises, and is, consequently, given out . 0
Captain W-bn-b takes the Long-stop for the Bowler; and, so
getting the wrong side of his wicket, is bowled out in his
first over .... „ .0

Mr. McN-L misled by the lights on the "adjacent hedges, making
a hit, loses his way m trying a run; and finally, wandering
into a neighbouring field, unable to make his way in the
dark, rests in a ditch, in which he ultimately goes to sleep,

—Not Out...... ... 0

Wides (bowled chiefly at the Umpire) 1322
Byes, &c...........704

2523

At the conclusion of the innings, as daylight was beginning to
break, it was determined to draw the stumps, it being settled that
play should be resumed on the following midnight, when the
opposing team were to take their turn at the wicket.

" Poto les Beaux Yeux."—Last week Dr. Ogle lectured excel-
lently well and very wisely on the statistics of marriage in England.
Altogether, it appears that this is not a marrying age. Those young
men and maidens who are in search of partners for life, must keep

their eyes open, and-Ogle. Very leery advice would be expected

from anyone of the name of Ogle.

ROBERT ON THE BOAT-RAGE.

At the moment as I rites on the most importentest ewent of the
hopening Spring, the warst majority of the four millions on us is a
passing their days and nites in wundering which blew side will win.
Why they is both blew, puzzles me. If so be as they was both
saleing boats, in course I coud unnerstand it, but, as they ain t, 1
gives up the puzzle, and gos a-head. .

By the by, Beown has given me a strate tip, which I gmerously
gives to all my numerus readers. If it's a nice light day, Cambrige
will suttenly win; but if it's a dull, dark day, Hoxford will sut-
tenly not lose. So if any of my f rends drops their money, it suttenly
won't be my fault.

I remember as one year we had 'em all to dinner at the Man-
shun House after the Race, and werry remarkabel fine appytites
they all seemed to have, winners and loosers alike. I spose as
Hoxford lost that time, and most likely from the same cause. For
I remembers as the Company werry kindly drunk the elth of the
man who pulled the ropes on that occasion, and he was just sech
another little feller as the won as lost last year, and wen he
returned thanks he sed werry wisely, I thort, as he shood never pull
the ropes again in a great match, for if your boat won nobody didn't
give you no praise for it, but if it lost, everybody said as it was your
fault.

I seed a good many of my respected Paytrons on that ocasion a
rnjoying of theirselves in their serveral ways. The Maria Wood state
Barge was there m all her glory, and plenty of gay company aboard,
including several members of the honoured Copperashun. In f ack you
ginerally sees a fair number on 'em when there's anythink a going
forred, whether of a usefool or a hornymental caracter. One or two
other wessels carried their onered flag. But I looked in wane for
any, the werry slightest, simptom of the County Counsel of London
having put in a appearance. Poor Fellers, what with plenty of dull,
dry hard work, and not a partikle of rashnal injoyment, no not
ewen such a trifle as a bit of free wittles or a drop of free drink,
what will they be looking like at the end of their second year of
hofhs ? Why it's my heleef as their werry best frends won' kno 'em.
No wunder as they all wants to get free admissions to all the
Theaters and Music Alls, Rayther shabby idear for a full blown
County Counsellor, when a shilling will take him'amost anywheres.

I thinks upon the
hole as I prefers a Boat
llace to an Horse Race.
In the fust place the
grand excitement lasts
much longer, in the
nex place of course
their ain't no crewel
whipping and spur-
ring of the two gallant
Crews to make 'em go
faster than possible,
in the nex place their
ain't not no dust, and
what a blessed loss
that is I spose most on
us knows by his own
blinded xperience, in
the nex place there
ain't but werry little
showting and borling
and skreaming, and
far beyond all, one is
abel direckly after the
race is over, insted of
rushing off to a|
scrowged tent and
paying 3s. (id. for a bit*
of cold beef, werry
Carelessly served,Sto set down carmly and comfortably in one's littel
cabbin, and partake in peas and quiet of all the good things as kind
friends has purvided, while gliding smoothly along our own butifool
River a returnin to that peacefool home to witch one's thorts allers
naterally turns wen the plesure or the bizziness of the day is all over,
and our strengths is replenisht withxjlenty of good wittles and drink.

_ Robeet.

"Go to Bath!"—Yes, to make sketches and flattering com-
ments, but not to ridicule the dulness and dinginess of the place, or
the local papers will " slate " you. They don't like " the New Bath
Guy'd!"__

" Lenten Entebtainment."—Going to see Sr/cci the fasting man.
By the way, very wrong of Succi not_to avail himself of the .rapai
dispensation. _