Punch (100.1891)

January 10, 1891.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHAEIVAEI.

on the ocean, but, like other pitchers, he went to the bad once too

MR. PUNCH'S PRIZE NOVELS. often, and got broken on the rocks. Then came Kane Wade, and

■kt„ v tut? tt'nTJ'nM a w Chalse, and Mylchreest, and they sang hymns to him.

AO. A..—1MJL J^UAUM-AJN. „ Ye,ye not liyed a right m^„ gaid one_ iiNoWj by me gowl)

{By Called Abel, Author of " The Teamster.") ye 'Ve got to die," sang another. " All flesh is as grass," roared a

[-The eminent Author writes to us as follows :—" How's this for a Saga ? third. Suddenly Jason stood beside his bedside. " This,"_ he

Do you know what a Saga is? Nor do I, but this is one in spite of what thought, is my lather. 1 must kill him." But he restrained

anybody may say. History be blowed ! Who cares about history ? Mix up himself by a superhuman effort—and that was the end of OfiRORS.
your dates and your incidents, and fill up with, any amount of simple human
passions. Then you'll get a Saga ? Alter that you can write a Proem and
an Epilogue. They must have absolutely nothing to do with the story, but
you can put in some Northern legends, and a tale about Mahomet (by the

way, I've written a play about him) which are bound to tell, though, of both HomericTand both felf in"love Vith"GreebZ wTo flirted out-

THE BOOK OF MICHAEL MOONKEYS.
Chapter III.

you can put in some Northern legends, and a tale about Mahomet (by the Michael and Fason were both the sons of OfiRORS. They were

course, you were not bound to tell them. Ha, ha ! who talked about thunder
storms, and passions, and powers and emotions, and sulphur-mines, and
heartless Governors, and wicked brothers ? Eead on, my bonny boy. Vous
m'm direz des nouvelles, but don't call this a novel. It's a right-down
regular Saga."—C. A.]

THE BOOK OF STIFFUN ORRORS.

Chapter I.

SttjfeujS' Orrors was a gigantic fair-haired man, whose muscles
were like the great gnarled round heads of a beech-tree. When a
man possesses that particular shape of muscle he is sure to be a

hard nut to crack. And so . . you!" So poor old Adam also

rageously with both. These coincidences are absolutely essential in
a tale of simple human passions. But, to be short, Greer a married
Michael, who had become First President of the second Icelandic
Republic. Thus Greeba and Michael were at Reykjavik. Fason
followed, spurred by a blind feeling of revenge. About this time
Mrs. Fatsister took a dislike to her husband.

" Crinkum, crankum! " she said, "you'd have me toil and moil
while you pat your nose at the fire."
"Ruth," said Adam.
Hoity toity!" cried she. "The house is mine. Away with

poor Patricksen found him, \ ' " ^ , '" ■ _^ set out for Reykjavik, and the

merely getting his own wretched V boatmen cried after him, " Dy

back broken for his trouble. x \ \v\ .• • banne jee 00.'" and he imme-

Gorgon Gorgonsen was Go- j£^===~ _q^gjK diately jeeooed, as you shallhear.

vernor of Iceland, and lived at <——r-—-p-i ^.jj^ggffg^f^:-■ * Last, Greeba'8 six brothers

Reykjavik, the capital, which ^bfcfetl^- r ^ite^- packed up, and left for Reykja-

was not only little and hungry, Ir. r' iTx 71^^=^ Slfc v^' a now we Dave

but was also a creeping settle- ^R C Y)\vJ iVV ) :* /l^tfr --^'<•'>- &°t a^ our characters safely

ment with a face turned to >^ * \_ ' * ' g^^j %/^*^\ ''•<■"'. there, or on the way, we can

America. It was a poor lame ^.-r^^nnt^?r^^MI dK^'• get on with the story. It may

place, with its wooden feet in 'n'l^^^C, vW^^ ^ft^^^C be mentioned, however, that

the sea. Altogether a strange M^^^^M >' J-'^!^^ ^/f ^/^^kOAvm^^h- ■ 1 ^rs' -^lI)A:m: f°nnd a fever in a

capital. In the month of Althing /J'ir ll™^tift '• 4 neglected cattle-trough. Being

Gorgon took his daughter to f I mi. -3k -. \x& fWm V> i—^lf/A^^ a grasping woman, she caught

Thingummy-vellir, where there E | ' '^%,-s:SS,i f ^'Ji'lf(v ^Pi SVA a-'^Tv it, and took it home—and it

were wrestling matches. It - ■ -■■■-"J} )' "'Wt*£ U MWm ' ?! )' killed her.

came to the turn of Patricksen // iL^J^^^f ■--■^^S^S^ek '-<" '"11 n ttt

and Stiff-on. Stiefdn took him <f , 1f^\M _ ' ill ^rtf Chapter IV.
with one arm ; then, curling one ^ f M ! Jlu ^ /( -S^fo fllL^/' fl Red Fason meant to kill
leg round his head and winding - / -: I .j^Sl ~^'m - 1 Wmal^ZLj^^- \ W W^^e ' W\ Michael. That was plain. So
the other round his waist, he _ • </y '^mSL " ■^^'■^iMMiSyi ™£r^^ M '* he was tried by a Bishop and
planted his head in his chest, .- p^M?^M?& "~ /™Wu™rTT /'l W'gS^W rill mi' nine °f his neighbours an hour
and crushing his ribs with one '* '\ 1 /A«r v^j, \)'^ ^/'M^mm w in\ \ '^^'/iw^SH or 80 a^er the attempt. And
hand he gave a mighty heave, V \ '•^•s/M^lv^L 7v^\ N N ~ J» |I|b although the time was so short,
and clasping the ground, as mjlttl] \< 'r'A -A\^2^s. Ullliw ''• Hv^v \ Pi all the witnesses had been col-
with the hoofs of an ox, he l|: iM^\-0^ ■ - ^^S^\/WJ^^W\ \\\ V ~V I %'■ lected, and all formalities corn-
flung him some two hundred - l| rf\ ^' ~~ '^^X ■A Nii'llV' P^ted. And Fason was dumb,
yards away, and went and _ ~ _^ ^ V ^ \ ^\ - ^7 111 lflr% ^ ^rea^ °^ heart, and the
married Rachel the Governor's » ^ a^-^^ " \ ^\ v^^^.^^ll^vJIII\ll^/^sn°P condemned him to the
daughter. That night he broke ^^/^k w ^^^-j-^^V J ^(^^.llw^^^^^. sulphur-mines, for which he

Patricksen's hack, as if he had ' r' " '"j.......^z^s^*^* v ^- ^ f& soon afterwards started with his

been a stick of sugar-candy. J/^ ^___ — -- -^J^^^^^^^^^^p^^ long stride, and his shorn head,

After this he took his wife home, ^f~^H^_ . Q=^^=^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ and his pallid face. Epon this

and often beat her, or set his _^zT^5=3ss!==S^- " - ~* ~- the six brothers of Greeba

mother on her. But one day , „ _ , , „ _ arrived, spread calumnies, and

she happened to mention Pat- The Characters PersonaUy-Gonducted by the Author to Eeykjayik. were belieYedi Tneir names

RiCKSEN, so he fled, cowed, humiliated, cap in hand, to Manxland, 1 were Asher, Jacob, John, Thdrstajst, Stean, and Ross, but they

but left to her her child, her liberator, her Fason, so that she ! preferred addressing one another as Jobbernowl, Wastrel,
might span her little world of shame and pain on the bridge of j Gomebstang, Bltjbberhead, Numskull, and Blatherskite. It
Hope's own rainbow. She did this every day, and no one in all saved time, and made things pleasant all round. Michael quarrelled

Iceland, rugged, hungry, cold Iceland, knew how she did it. It
was a pretty trick.

Chapter II.

This is the Isle of Man, the island of Matt Mylchreest, and
Nary Crowe, but plenty of vultures, the island of Deemsters, and
Keys, and Kirk Maughold, and Port y Vullin. Here at the Lague
lived Adam Fatsister, the Deputy Governor, who had been selected
for that post because he owned five hundred hungry acres, six
hungrier sons, a face like an angel's in homespun, a flaccid figure,
and a shrewd-faced wife, named Roth. Hither came Stieedn, to
beg shelter. The footman opened the door to him, but would have
closed it had not Adam, with a lusty old oath, bidden him to let the
man in. Hereupon Stiffon's face softened, and the footman's
dropped; but Orrors, with an Icelander's inborn courtesy, picked it
up, dusted it, and returned it to its owner. Shortly afterwards,
Stleftjn became a bigamist and a wrecker, and had another son,
whom, in honour of the Manxland Parliament, he christened
Michael Moonkeys, and left him to be cared for by old Adam,
whose daughter's name was Greeba. Sttfftxn', as I have said, was
a wrecker, a wrecker on strictly Homeric principles, but a wrecker,

nevertheless. "When storm-winds blew, he was a pitcher and tosser | And this is the End

with his wife, and there is no knowing what might have happened,
if Gorgon Gorgonsen, at the head of some Danish soldiers, had
not upset the Republic, and banished Michael to the sulphur-
mines to join his brother.

THE BOOK OF RED FASON.
Chapter V.

Poor Adam arrived too late, yet he has his use in the tale, for
his words to Gorgon Gorgonsen were bitter words, such as the
cruel old Governor liked not. And he harried him, and worried
him, but without avail, for in Reykjavik money was justice, and
Adam had spent his. "What availed it that a grey silt should come
up out of the deposits of his memory ? That was a totally un-
marketable commodity in Reykjavik, as Adam found to his cost.
And in the end intending to shoot Michael they shot Fason. And
yet it is perfectly certain that the next chapter of this Saga, had
there been a next, would have found all the characters once more in
the Isle of Man. For nothing is more surely established than this :
that a good (or a bad) Icelander, when he dies (or lives), goes always
to the Isle of Man, and every self-respecting Manxman returns the
compliment by poing to Iceland. And thus are Sagas constructed.

voi,.- c.

c