Punch: Punch (100.1891)

Mat 23, 1891.] PUNCH, OK, THE LONDON CHARIVARI 241

MP. PUNCH'S POCKET IBSEN.

(Condensed and Revised Version, by Mr. P.'s Own Harmless Ibsenite.

No/IT—THE WILD DUCK.
Acx I.

At Weble's house. In front a richly-upholstered study, (b.) a
green-baize door leading to Weble's office. At back, open fold-
ing doors, revealing an elegant dining-room, in which a brilliant

with the Norwegian, aristocracy. I have a son who loathes me, and
who is either an Ibsenian satire on the Master's own ideals, or else an
ntterly impossible prig—I don't know or care which. Altogether, I
flatter myself my household affords an accurate and realistic picture
of Scandinavian Society!

Act II.

Hialmab Eedal's Photographic Studio. Cameras, neck-rests, and
other instruments of torture lying about. Gina Eedal and
Hedwig, her daughter, aged 14, and wearing spectacles,
Norwegian dinner-party is going on. Hired Waiters in profu-\ discovered sitting up for Hialhab.

lA??\rA $tSS is ^Prd Tth ?■ knife'i Sh0UiS f" BraV-° ■' " 1 Hedvig. Grandpapa is in his room with a bottle of brandy and a
Old Mr. Weele is heard making a long speech proposing- • of hot wat doi gome fregh copying work. Fath£r is in

according to the custom of Norwegian society on such occasions- ; gociet dmi Qut> He promised he would bring me home sometMng

the health of his Housekeeper. Mrs. Sobby. Presently several j nice !

Hialmar {coming in, in evening dress). And he has not forgotten his
promise, my child. Behold I [he presents her with the menu card ;
Hedvig gulps down her tears; Hialmab notices her disappointment,
with annoyance.) And this all the gratitude I get! After dining

short-sighted, flabby, and thin-haired Chamberlains, enter from
the dining-room, with HlALMAB Eedal, who writhes shyly
under their remarks.

A Chamberlain. As we are the sole surviving specimens of Nor-
wegian nobility, suppose we sustain our reputation as aristocratic j out and coming ^home in a dress-coat and boots, which are dis-
sparklers by enlarging upon the enormous amount we have eaten, gracefully tight! Well, well, jnst to show you how hurt I am, I
and chaffing Hialmab Eedal, the friend of our won't have any beer now ! What a selfish brute

host's son, for being a professional Photo- ^^~'3<*fe. Iam! (Relenting.) You may bring me just a

grapher ? mMBffSt\ j f-y^- little drop. (He bursts into tears.) I will play

The other Chamberlains. Bravo! We will. jPP|f?j£i*'you a plaintive Bohemian dance on my flute.

[They do; delight of Hialmab. Old fat 'HmGb (He does.) No beer at such a sacred moment

"Werle comes in, leaning on his House- jj^^^m^M^ -^nf^.- W as this ! ; (He drinks.) Ha, this is real domestic

keeper's arm, followed by his son, ikj^ _ 3"' bliss!

Gregebs We hie. MmmaaM f JaW^lt^ [Geegp.es Weele comes in, in a countrified

Old Werle (dejectedly). Thirteen at table! WF^ri' su*t'

(To Gbegees, with a meaning glance at Hiai- jtSP-BbPtIWrjm^K^^h Gregers. I have left my father's home—

mab.) This is the result of inviting an old s^^^^m^'M sm^'^m " Mr? dinner-party and all—for ever. I am coming

College friend who has turned Photographer! W^Wf^/7^ ISPx'' H 1 JPi to lodge with you.

Wasting vintage wines on him, indeed! M^ail^^^I ''^•w^'^rII Hialmar (still melancholy-. Have some bread

[He passes on gloomily. ^M^''^^^'^lL^^\mwSB^ 'N and butter. You won't ? then I will. I want

Hialmar (to Gregers). I am almost sorry I ^^fj^^^^/Mm '■illKN **' after your father's lavish hospitality,

came. Your old min is not friendly. Yet he JgaftK i %: '' ^WS^S^\ IJIiPi^'" vV:- (Hedvig goes to fetch bread and butter.) My
set me up as a Photographer fifteen years ago, mfm^''^^«|Pyf^^Wp daughter—a poor shortsighted little thing—but

Now he takes me down ! But for Mm, I should BEMdHi'M-' WaB^^^KmL mine own.

never have married Gixa, who, you may mS^'MB^K WMPI^IM^m Gregers. My father has had to take to strong

remember, was a servant in your family once, SamMMMM ^f^^mt^Wji glasses, too—he can hardly see after dinner.

Gregers. What? my old College friend mar- WwW//mM\ ' «B»vWS«SP^^ (To Ola Ekdal, who stumbles in very drunk.)

ried fifteen years ago—and to our Gina, of all 9njffijw//J^' iW^W^m^Sm How can you, Lieutenant Ekdal, who were

people! If I had not been up at the works all m^MI'/Jsm^. I w^AlVA^I') $1 such a keen sportsman once, live in this poky

these years, I suppose I should have heard MB^/W-^W^i little hole?

something of such an event. But my father JK/£MWmW ''WWWMl Old Ekdal. I am a sportsman still. The

never mentioned it. Odd ! MffiM&k/ ^mMV, w®| only difference is that once I shot bears in a

[He ponders ; Old Ekdal comes out through JiPPw Wimff^l @fW forest, and now I pot tame rabbits in a garret.

the green-baize door, bowing, and beg- Wm jiMf m^jlpl I^I^fPi Quite as amusing—and safer.

ging pardon, carrying copying work, mflfikff M$£//l] Hw^V^wr^ [He goes to sleep on a sofa.

Old Weele says " Ugh" and" Pah" mME mmll s^WSbte^ Hialmar (with pride). It is quite true. You

involuntarily. Hialmab shrinks back, MliJjlp} Wml'll K^^^^^S5 shall see.

and looks another way. A Chamberlain ^Mldjlk [He pushes back sliding doors, and reveals

asks him pleasantly if he knows that jjMjmfjp -■' a garret full of rabbits and poultry—

old man. wUlkk ~'^'\f. moonlight effect. Hedvig returns with

Hialmar. I—oh no. Nst in the least. No S|ftv bread and butter.

relation! ^&$k^? Hedvig (to Gbegees) . If you stand just there,

Gregers (shocked). What, Hialmae, you, ., , . you get the best view of our Wild Duck. We

with your great soul, deny your own father ! Father> YloathT ou m P " *re very proud of her, because she gives the

Hialmar (vehemently). Of course— what else 1 loame you 1 play its title, you know, and has to be brought

can a Photographer do with a disreputable old parent, who has been I into the dialogue a good deal. Your father peppered her out
in a Penitentiary for making a fraudulent map ? I shall leave this ; shooting, and we saved her life.

splendid banquet. The Chamberlains are not kind to me, and I feel Hialmar. Yes, Gbegees, our estate is not large — but still we
the crushing hand of fate on my head ! [Goes out hastily, feeling it. : preserve, you see. And my poor old father and I sometimes get a
Mrs. Sorby (archly). Any Nobleman here say " Cold Punch " p day's gunning in the garret. He shoots with a pistol, which my
[Every Nobleman says " Cold Punch" and follows her out in \ illiterate wife here will call a " pigstol." He onoe, when he got into
search of it with enthusiasm. Gbegees approaches his 1 trouble, pointed it at himself. But the descendant of two lieutenant-
father, who wishes he would go. ; colonels who had never quailed before living rabbit yet, faltered

Gregers. Father, a word with you in private. I loathe you. I j then. He didnH shoot. Then I put it to my own head. But at the
am nothing, if not candid. Old Eedal was your partner once, and i decisive moment, I won the victory over myself. I remained in life,
it's my firm belief you deserved a prison quite as much as he did. | Now we only shoot rabbits and fowls with it. After all I am very
However, you surely need not have married our Gusa to my old i happy and contented as I am. [He eats some bread and butter

friend Hialmab. _ You know very well she was no better than she
should have been"

Gregers. But you ought not to be. You have a good deal of the
Wild Duck about you. So have your wife and daughter. You are

Old Werle. True—but then no more is Mrs. Sorby. And I am living in marsh vapours. To-morrow I will take you out for a walk
going to marry her—if you have no objection, that is. j and explain what I mean. It is my mission in life. Good night!

Gregers. None in the world ! How can I object to a stepmother i [He goes out.

who is playing Blind Man's Buff at the present moment with the! Gina and Hedwig. What teas the gentleman talking about, Father ?
Norwegian nobility? I am not so overstrained as all that. But' Hialmar (eating bread and butter). He has been dining, you know,
really I cannot allow my old friend Hialmab, with his great, eonfid- \ No matter—what we have to do now, is to put my disreputable old

ing, childlike mind, to remain in contented ignorance of Gina's past
No, I see my mission in life at last! I shall take my hat, and inform
him that his home is built upon a lie. He will be so much obliged
to me ! [Takes his hat, and goes out.

Old Werle. Ha !—I am a wealthy merohant, of dubious morals,
and I am about to marry my housekeeper, who is on intimate terms

whitehaired pariah of a parent to bed.

[He and Gina life old, Eccles—we mean old Eedal—up by the
legs and arms, and take him off to bed as the Curtain falls.

Cocekey Motto fob a Feeble Cbiceetee.—" Take 'Art of Gbace ! "

vol. c.