Punch (100.1891)

May 16, 1891.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

229

And a great Light fell across her face, as though a palm had
smitten it, and the name of the palm was Hand, and its fruits were
fingers five.

And again I addressed myself in terms of familiarity to the Ever-
{By Olph Schreion, Author of " Screams,'" " The Allegory of an j lasting, aDd 1 planted a book upon the clouds, where eight children

MR. PUNCH'S PRIZE NOVELS.

No. XYII.-GASPS.

Asian Banche.")

[" You -will perceive," writes the Author of the following story, " that this
is allegorical, but it is not by any means necessary that you Bhould under-
stand it. The chief charm of allegorical writing is its absolute freedom from

lay prone with bees flying about their childish bonnets.
And there came a knock at my door.
" Eight o'clock ! " said One. " Arise
Nay," I answered ; " it cannot be.

the trammels of convention. Tou write something large and vague, with ! " But the water is hot within the can, and the table will be spread
any amount of symbols thrown in. The words flow quite easily ; you cover | for them that break their fast."

scores of pages. Then you read it over again next morning. If you under- " So be it. I rise." And behold it was a dream !
stand it so little as to think some other fellow must have written it, you may
be quite certain it is an allegory. When you print it, your public reads into
it all kinds of mvsterious and morbid religious emotions, and confused misin-

testations of>e:probUm., and everybody tacks on his own special j . ft*™*!*? ftfe? ^ L^%^ SS*,^

Chapter III.

explanation. That being so, it is quite unnecessary for you to explain
things—which saves a great deal of trouble. The plan is an excellent one
Try it.—Tours, allfgoiicaily, 0. 8."]

Chapter I.

is the mother of the little black nigger '( She is churning slowly in
the garden. But cannot the aunt of the good gardener churn herself?
No; for she is in the orchard, plucking the apples, peaches, apricots,
pears {Birnen), to give to the butler's grandmother.

And there came Life and The Ideal walking hand in hand. And

Tant' Sannie was stewing kraut in the old Dutch saucepan. The ; behind them came Wealth and Vastness singing together. And
scorching rays of the African sun were beating down upon Bonaparte Infinity was there, and Health, and Wisdom, and Love. And Reflec-
Blenkins who was doing his best to be sun-like by beating Waldo, tion was mounted on a steed with Joy. And many other shapes

His nose was red and disa- ____/ followed, delicately arrayed

greeable. He was something__ |jSBc,v in fine linen. And helmet-
like Htjcelebebry Finn's ---• ||^»K // wearing Men in Blue mar-
Dauphin, an amusing, cal- -^r— zSZZZz^/-'^ X=^Se=__ -^~\ / ~\&k 8Qalled the procession. And
lous, cruel rogue, but less r3=^^.J==|p^ ^\===f=^==. ^^^^Wv ,y ^ey sPa^e rcmf?hly, saying,
resourceful. Taut' Sannie -=^^^==£j >^^HT Ay\^> " Pass away there, pass away

lauzhed; it was so pleasant =FiiE3p====:/ , ,,,,f , , „ / ' '--ydd^*'"^ there!"

to see a German boy beaten %3h^F^{\ ' 1 \\\\ , f. ■'. vJvVJlM - T And I said, "Is this the

black and blue. But the ^^pfcj • , ^^^»| - , Lord Mayor's Show ? "

Hottentot servants merely jT^rv&y^ s><\ C^x^*^ And One said, " No."

gaped. It was their custom, rtllllfi W> 'yM^mitftyy ' .,(.<,'•• And I said, " Is it the Sal-

But in the middle distance -11 "! :JjJ ''_l 'Wkf _ V 1 ' vation Army ?»

Life was playing marbles ray ~~\M. V' ^| f And again One said," No."

with the Unknown. And — ^ __// v$k\ MlLU\_ ^ 8a^' " ^s ^

the Unknown said unto Life, v. _ ^-Jssfc \ quah?"

Give me an alley-tor." / _^J>/—^ M h wL^,«,n/ And One said again, "No."

But Life replied, " Nay, for QyX WKKfr r^li \ /',/Mm, And I said, "I have

the commoneys are lying ^> ^/ /f^'^Wh^^^^^ V A.'JflEi guessed enough."

well, and the thumb of him %P ' 1 ;T'"I':^» / '/MrwXV- i' \u And One said, " Yes."

that aimeth is seasoned unto ^^^^^^^K^ft>^'m^^'':''^ '/v \vv\ But The Real was not

the stroke." And the Un- r ^ WWKkl T^^^^^^MK^^'^M^^ V"' '• there, and they passed away,

known beat his sable wings ^SSSEj I f^^Wfflfti§"\^JO L ^J^W ^ And One said, ''I air.

together, and one black fea- ^**~s^&sp& j / .jgapr] mIhWBi w Wealth," which was absurd.

ther flitted far into the breast / ! jMjMi i f tVifil lllll \ WMM^''^-'/ ^ut No-one laughed. And

of the day and fell to earth. - ' /MtW/l r I ! t 111 If ^'l^s0 they all danced a fandango

And there came a fair-haired ~ ji 'Mm}/ I f i| 1 lllSi'l V^c-0*^ ~ on the points of their toes.

Child plucking flowers in . // j f I f VWm C^lEST Aud a shaft of U*ht l*?

the desert with brows bent t [ii " i il { \ i 111 'MMk \ (rlfl^S' over them. And they wan-

in thought. ^ fV -I \ ' I M \\\wm i iL,MWi \ deredon. At last they came

And Life said unto the N /I' f |j |j! | Wf\\ i/il'tj;|[i[S|S X to a bad, wicked naughty.

Child, " Play with me." W> brimstone place. And I

And the Unknown said, " Play with me." | said to Some-one, "I like this. It seems a good place." And still No-

one laughed. And Wealth touched me, and I was glad. And I
said, "Give me millions, or buy a box of matches," and Law
seized me and took me to the Cell. Then I said to the Beak, " Tour
Worship." And the Beak said unto me, "Begging again. Forty
shillings." And again I woke. And it was all a striving and a
striving and an ending in Nothing.

the end.

But the Child raised its soft hand slowly and the tender fingers
grew apart, and its thumb was poised in thought upon its nose, and
it spake not at all. And the feather flitted far, far over the waste,
and men came forth and gazed upon it, but it heeded them not.

Then said Life, "I am strong. Kings have need of me and earth
is my dominion." But the Unknown gathered up the scattered
marbles, concealing them gei-tly, and answered only this—" I am a
greater than Life."

And the Child strayed onwards and the feather flitted, and Tant'
Sannte still stewed kraut in the old Dutch saucepan. And
Bonaparte Blenkins was glad.

Chapter II.

Crtjexty, cruelty, cruelty—all' is "cruelty! Boys are beaten;
oxen are stabbed till the blood bursts forth; happy, industrious,
dung-collecting beetles are bitten in two by careless, happy, beetle-
collecting dogs-everything is wicked and cruel. The Kaffir has
beautiful legs, but he will kick his wife, and Tant' Sannie, alas I
will not be there to drop a pickle-tub on his head. And over every-
thing hangs that inscrutable charm which hovers for ever for the
human intellect over the incomprehensible and Bhadowy. Omne
ignotum pro mirifioo, I might say, but I prefer the longer phrase.

And I stood at the gate of Heaven, I and Tant' Sannie ; and we
spoke to everybody quite affably ; and they all had time to listen to
what we said, and to make suitable replies.

And I said, "Are we all here ? "

Ana she said, "Not all."

And I said, " The absent are always in the WTong."
And she said, " I have heard that in French."
And I said, " Is not that impertinent P "
And she said, " No."

TO MLLE. JANE MAY.

" Au clair de la lune,
Mon ami Pierrot,
PrSte-moi ta plume
Pour Icrire uu mot."

Prbte-moj ta plume ! _ Could wit borrow a feather
From Cupid's own pinion, 'tis doubtfullish whether
A " mot " might be made which should happily hit
The "gold " of desert; and Love, aided by Wit,
Though equal to eloquent passion's fine glow,
Might both be struck mute by the Muse of Dumb-Show,
That " actions speak louder than words" we all knew ;
But now we may add, " and more gracefully, too."
Performances fine Punch has praised in his day,
But how few take the pas of the Promise- of Mat !

" Native Puces and the Liquor Traffic."—An important subjec
strangely omitted at the recent meeting of this Society was " The
Consumption of Champagne on the Derby and Oaks Days." The
Duke of Westminster will take the earliest opportunity of rectify-
ing this error.

TOI. C.