Punch: Punch (100.1891)

14 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [January 10, 1891.

LAUNCE IN LONDON.

{Shakspeare adapted to the situation.)

Enter Latjnce with his dog.

Launce. When a poor man's cnr shall cost him [some
thirteen shillings and sixpence within the year, look you,
it goes hard ; one that I brought up as a puppy ; one of
a mongrel litter that I saved from drowning, when three
or four of his blind, breedless brothers and sisters went
to it. Yerily I will write to the Standard thereanent.
Item—muzzle, two shillings ; item—collar, under new
order, two shillings and sixpence; item—engraving
collar, under new order, one shilling and sixpence; item
—licence, seven shillings and sixpence; total, thirteen
shillings and sixpence, as aforesaid. Truly a poor man
feeleth an amount like this, and hath to deny himself
some necessary to preserve his affectionate companion,
to wit, his dog. I have taught him, even as one
would say, precisely, "thus would I teach a dog." 0 'tis
a foul thing when a dog cannot keep himself in all com-
panies, but must grub for garbage in the gutter, and yap
at constables' kibes! I would have, as one should say,
one that takes upon himself to be a dog indeed, to be, as "A Poor Man feels an Amount like this, and has to deny himself soMi
it were, a dog at all things. And art thou so, Crab f Necessary to preserve his affectionate companion, the Dog."

But verily 'tis I who have taught thee, that have also

to pav for thee : and, whether thou art wholly worth the cost, concerns not thee, bat thy master. Thou hast of late miny enemies in seats
of office, and elsewhere ; ministers, and scribes, and feeble folk in fidgety fear of hypothetical hydrophoby. "Oat with the dog! " says
one. " That cur looks mad! " says another; "Mazzle him! " says the third. " Kaock ma him on the head with a constable's staff!