Punch (100.1891)

January 10, 1891.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 23

" HONOURS EASY ! "

(Omitted from the New Year's List last
Week.)

Sir F. Leighton, Bart., P.R.A.,
to be raised to the Peerage as the
Earl of Burlington, in order to
adorn the House of Lords.

Mr. Henry Irving, to be Lord
Lycjeom, to please Baron Beefsteak.

Mr. J. L. Toole, to be Baron Beef-
steak, to satisfy Lord Lyceum.

Miss Florence Nightingale, to be
Lady Redcross oe Geneva ; because
she earned it nearly forty years ago.

" General" Booth, to be Viscount
Boomon, to collect subscriptions in
the House of Lords.

Sir "Wilfrid Lawson, Bart., will
take the title of Lord Drinkwater.
N.B.—He will always have to appear
in Court suit with pumps.

Viscount Wolseley will be made
F.R.8., F.S.A., F.R.G.S., M.D., in
order to add to his collection, if he
hasn't them already.

Professor Nobman Lockyer will
receive The Garter, to place among
his Stars.

Lord Tennyson, a Second Pension
from the Civil List, to augment the
one granted half a century or so ago.

The Donkey of the Brothers
Griffiths, the Order of the Thistle.

Some More of Them.—Tim
Queen has been further pleased
to confer the dignity of a Peerage
of the United Kingdom upon—

Mr. Sheriff Augustus Harris, who
will, on taking his Beat in the
Upper House, assume the title of
Lord Augustus Druriolanus of
Long Acre.

Mr. S. B. Bancroft, who will
take that of Lord Haymarket.

Mr. William Black, who will in
future be known as Lord Sheila of
Thule.

Messrs. Swan and Edgar, who
will assume the dignity, respec-
tively, under the titles of Lords
Piccadilly and Regent's Circus,
and the

Beadle of the Burlington Ar-
cade, who will accept the honour
with the style and title of Lord
Burlington of Arcadia.

Heb Majesty has also been further
pleased to confer the dignity of a
Baronetcy of the United Kingdom
on the following Gentlemen; viz.,
Messrs. Eno, Scott, Beecham,
Carter, Lamplough, and Cockle

A WAY OF PUTTING IT.

Author. "Do you like my Verses?"

Pompous Critic. "Oh, immensely! I observe that the

ixigencies of rhyme have occasionally led to a feli-
city of expression which—which almost compels one
to assume the original existence of ideas i "

End Road. Translator of Shakspeap.e
into the Puttialah dialect, &c, &c.
Founder of the European University of
Jollipore.

Latest Additions,—Messrs A. &
F. Pears. To be Companions of the
Bath.

" General" Booth. To be Knight
Commander of the Bath. To enable
him to deal more effectually with
the " Submerged Tenth."

Zadkiel and Old Moore. The
Most Distinguished Order of The
Tinsel Star. For eminent services
to Astronomy.

Mr. W. H. Stead. The Most
Honourable Order of the Golden
8coop. For his enterprise in re-
viewing Reviews, and gallantry in
storming Magazines.

Mr. Macdougall The Order of
the Free Pass. For services to
Morality. Mr. O'Bbien. The Order
of Retreat. For a short period.

AT THE END OF THE YEAR.

The Friend's Reply.

I thought your lines a great success,
(You always did write rather
neatly)

Although I must at once confess
I can't agree with you completely.

Of course I recollect quite well
How long we sat and smoked to-
gether,

And how our conversation fell
(As fall it will) upon the weather.

Our prospects then seemed bright
and fair,

(Our language certainly got

stronger)
We built our castles in the air,
And by degrees our drinks grew

longer.

Yes—in the game of law Ben wins,
And many guineas in he's picking,

But have you heard his wife has
twins, [ing ?

And both of them alive and kick-

And pompous Joe, now Joe, M. P.,
Is loubtless pleased at growing
raucous

Through speaking, since he's proud
to be

The Member for a Tory Caucus.

Yet I'm afraid for his poor braiD,
That such success will surely
turn it,

For every speech means so mnch
strain, [it!

Her Majesty has further been Since off by heart he has to learn

And mazy Jack, whose chance in life,

pleased to confer the honour of Knighthood Gingeree Babihoy, Jabberjeehoy, the
on several Gentlemen greatly distinguished i Reigning Jam of JoDipore "

for their services respectively to Art, Lite
rature, and Science, whose names, however,
it is not necessary to mention, but whose
labours, had they been rewarded with that
financial success that attends the efforts of
a pushing and advertising tradesman, would.,
doubtless, have earned them the more be-
coming dignity of a Peerage.

Her Majesty has further been pleased to
confer the dignity of a Full Knight Grand
Commander of the First Class of the
most exalted Order of the Sceptre of India,
on-

John James Smith, Esq., Thomas Jen-
kins Robinson, Esq., and James Wallop
Brown, Esq., of the Bengal Civil 8ervice.

And also that of an equal dignity of the
same exalted Order, on His Royal Highness,

* John James Smith, E?q., educated at Har-
row, Commissioner of Gunerjore, 1878 ; Collector of
Poojah, 1880; Acting-Deputy at Boorgipore, 1887,
&c, &c.

Thomas Jenkins Eobinsw, Author of The
Paper Rupee. What is its Commercial Value ? Sat
on the Puttialah Commission in 1870. Suspended
for insubordination, 1882. Removed to GalLichud-
dah, 1888. Part Author of The Governor-General's
Goose, and who is to Cook It ?

James Wallop Brown, Esq., son of John
"Wallop Brown, Esq., of The Nut-crackers. Upper
Putney. Author of Brown's Digest of Synthetical
Illusions ! Collector of Naggerpore, 1886 ; Boora-
foola, 1885 ; Chourmgee, 1886, &c, &c.

H.R.H. the Jam of Jollipore, the 29th descen-
dant in direct line from Ginger Khan, the con-
queror of the Moguls. Gave 100,000 Rupees to the
foundation of the New Indian Hospital in the Mile

We all of us considered shady,
Has married money {and a wife) •
But tell me—do you know the lady P

Dick's dinners, too, I'm quite aware,
Are noted—yet he's far from steady,

Whilst Tom's hue house in Belgrave Square
Is mortgaged, so they say, already.

Life, after all, is surely more
Than guineas, Belgrave Square, or
dinners.
Life is a race—but yet, before
You curse your luck, are these the
winners ?

» * * *

And so, old friend, content I jog
Along, amidst life's hurry-skurry,

And smoke my bird's-eye, sip my grog,
Without a care or thought to worry.