DOI issue:
February 7, 1891
DOI Page / Citation link: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17691#0072
G2 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [February 7, 1891.
BRUIN JUNIOP.
" M»y this bs my poison, if my Bear ever dances but to the very genteelest of tunes, ' Water-parted,''
or ' The Mii.uit in Ariadne: " She Stoops to Conquer.
Viceroy {to Miss India, loquitur). "Don't be alarmed, my dear 1 Tbis Bear NEVfR
dances but to the very genteelest of tunes I "
Lord Lansdowne, loquitur:—
Be easy, my darling I He doesn't come
snarling,
Or rearing, or hugging, this young Dancing
Bear.
"With you (and with pleasure) he '11 tread a
gay measure,
A captive of courtesy, under my care ;
EU chain is all golden. Your heart 'twill
embolden,
And calm that dusk bosom which timidly
shrinks.
Sincere hospitality is, in reality,
Safest of shackles ;—just look at the links !
Alarmists saw ruin in prospects of Bruin,
The Great Northern Bear, treading India's
soil.
How bogies may blind us 1 On our side the
Indus
They fancy friend Ursa spies nothing but
spoil;
But Ursa's invited to come, and delighted
To visit you, not as aggressor, but guest.
So welcome him brightly, and treat him
politely,
And trip with him lightly, you'll find it
far best.
Atta Troll (Heine tells us) "danced
nobly." Pride swells us
To think our young guest is a true Atta
Troll ;
No Bugbear, though shaggy, a trifle breeoh-
baggy,
And not altogether a dandyish doll;
No Afghan intrigue, dear, or shy Native
league, dear,
Has brought Brain's foot o'er our frontier
to dance:
He comes freely, boldly—don't look on him
coldly,
Or make him suspect there is fear in your
glanoe.
Be sure that the Lion will still keep his
eye on
All Bears and their dens, in the Tiger's
behalf;
Meanwhile Ursa Minor eschews base design, or
Intrigue against you, dear. Lift eyes,
love, and laugh!
I '11 answer for Bruin, he shall not take you
in—
The Bear's bona fides nobody impugns ;
He asks a kind glance, and your hand in a
dance; and
He'll dance "to the very genteelest of
tunes" !
THE UP-TO-DATE CONVERSATIONIST.
He [at the end of a turn). I see there' s
been a row in Chili—what do you think
about it ?
She. _ I don't know the place—isn't it some-
where in America ?
He. I shouldn't be surprised if it were,
but my geography's shaky. I rather fancy
it's somehow connected with pickles.
She. Oh, then it's a mistake their quar-
relling, as I suppose it will be hard upon
the poor, especially during the winter ?
He. Fancy that's the idea. Been to the
Gruelph Exhibition ?
. She. Yes, and I think it's a pity they
took the jewels'out of George the Fourth's
Crown. I should like to have seen the
Koh-i-Noor.
He. But they wanted them for the one at
the Tower, don't you know, and as for the
Koh-i-Noor, was that invented in his time ?
She. Perhaps it wasn't. Stay, wasn't i:
discovered by Captain Coos:, or Drake, or
somebody ?
He. I daresay. I have never looked the
matter up. A propos, One-pound Bank-notes
are to be issued.
She. Are they P I suppose they will bs useful
for change ?
He. Shouldn't be astonished, but don't pre-
tend to know anything about it. By the way,
do you take much interest in the subjects we
have been discussing ?
She. Not the faintest.
He. No more do I! [ Waltz continued.
DEARNESS AND DEARTH.
"Spanish onions are rising in price, though
probably only temporarily."—Daily News.
I.
"Will it be long, then—long ?
For the people watch and wait,
Till the strength of the onion makes th?m
strong,
At only the normal ra'e.
And their eyes are dim with tears,
And ache with the need of sleep.
And watch till the lapse of the lapsing years
Shall make the onions cheap.
Cheap, my love, cheap I Sleep, my love,
sleep!
Onions are d- ar, love, but sentiment's cheap!
n.
Listen ! Is it a voic9
Calling—again—again,
Or a fragrance to make my heart rejoice
From the sunlit land of Spain ?
Listen, my own, my bride,
While the glad tears dew your cheek,
They are fried, my bride, by the sad sea
tide
With a smell that can almost speak.
Creep, my love, creep into the deep,
And sing to the fishes that onions are cheap.
The Proposed One-pound Notes.—" Ne-
Gosohenable currency."
BRUIN JUNIOP.
" M»y this bs my poison, if my Bear ever dances but to the very genteelest of tunes, ' Water-parted,''
or ' The Mii.uit in Ariadne: " She Stoops to Conquer.
Viceroy {to Miss India, loquitur). "Don't be alarmed, my dear 1 Tbis Bear NEVfR
dances but to the very genteelest of tunes I "
Lord Lansdowne, loquitur:—
Be easy, my darling I He doesn't come
snarling,
Or rearing, or hugging, this young Dancing
Bear.
"With you (and with pleasure) he '11 tread a
gay measure,
A captive of courtesy, under my care ;
EU chain is all golden. Your heart 'twill
embolden,
And calm that dusk bosom which timidly
shrinks.
Sincere hospitality is, in reality,
Safest of shackles ;—just look at the links !
Alarmists saw ruin in prospects of Bruin,
The Great Northern Bear, treading India's
soil.
How bogies may blind us 1 On our side the
Indus
They fancy friend Ursa spies nothing but
spoil;
But Ursa's invited to come, and delighted
To visit you, not as aggressor, but guest.
So welcome him brightly, and treat him
politely,
And trip with him lightly, you'll find it
far best.
Atta Troll (Heine tells us) "danced
nobly." Pride swells us
To think our young guest is a true Atta
Troll ;
No Bugbear, though shaggy, a trifle breeoh-
baggy,
And not altogether a dandyish doll;
No Afghan intrigue, dear, or shy Native
league, dear,
Has brought Brain's foot o'er our frontier
to dance:
He comes freely, boldly—don't look on him
coldly,
Or make him suspect there is fear in your
glanoe.
Be sure that the Lion will still keep his
eye on
All Bears and their dens, in the Tiger's
behalf;
Meanwhile Ursa Minor eschews base design, or
Intrigue against you, dear. Lift eyes,
love, and laugh!
I '11 answer for Bruin, he shall not take you
in—
The Bear's bona fides nobody impugns ;
He asks a kind glance, and your hand in a
dance; and
He'll dance "to the very genteelest of
tunes" !
THE UP-TO-DATE CONVERSATIONIST.
He [at the end of a turn). I see there' s
been a row in Chili—what do you think
about it ?
She. _ I don't know the place—isn't it some-
where in America ?
He. I shouldn't be surprised if it were,
but my geography's shaky. I rather fancy
it's somehow connected with pickles.
She. Oh, then it's a mistake their quar-
relling, as I suppose it will be hard upon
the poor, especially during the winter ?
He. Fancy that's the idea. Been to the
Gruelph Exhibition ?
. She. Yes, and I think it's a pity they
took the jewels'out of George the Fourth's
Crown. I should like to have seen the
Koh-i-Noor.
He. But they wanted them for the one at
the Tower, don't you know, and as for the
Koh-i-Noor, was that invented in his time ?
She. Perhaps it wasn't. Stay, wasn't i:
discovered by Captain Coos:, or Drake, or
somebody ?
He. I daresay. I have never looked the
matter up. A propos, One-pound Bank-notes
are to be issued.
She. Are they P I suppose they will bs useful
for change ?
He. Shouldn't be astonished, but don't pre-
tend to know anything about it. By the way,
do you take much interest in the subjects we
have been discussing ?
She. Not the faintest.
He. No more do I! [ Waltz continued.
DEARNESS AND DEARTH.
"Spanish onions are rising in price, though
probably only temporarily."—Daily News.
I.
"Will it be long, then—long ?
For the people watch and wait,
Till the strength of the onion makes th?m
strong,
At only the normal ra'e.
And their eyes are dim with tears,
And ache with the need of sleep.
And watch till the lapse of the lapsing years
Shall make the onions cheap.
Cheap, my love, cheap I Sleep, my love,
sleep!
Onions are d- ar, love, but sentiment's cheap!
n.
Listen ! Is it a voic9
Calling—again—again,
Or a fragrance to make my heart rejoice
From the sunlit land of Spain ?
Listen, my own, my bride,
While the glad tears dew your cheek,
They are fried, my bride, by the sad sea
tide
With a smell that can almost speak.
Creep, my love, creep into the deep,
And sing to the fishes that onions are cheap.
The Proposed One-pound Notes.—" Ne-
Gosohenable currency."