Punch (100.1891)

February 7, 1891.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 71

A DEAD FROST.

When I saw you on a January morning,

"With a very little pair of skates indeed,
And the frosty glow your fairy face adorning,

I was suddenly from other passions freed.
And the year at its imperial beginning
Showed the woman who alone was worth the winning ;
Though the growing flame awhile I tried to smother

Like a brother ;
And that's a very common phase indeed,
As we read.

My hat and stick I suddenly found fleeting,
And they whistled o'er the surface, smooth and black,

And the ice, with an unwonted warmth of greeting,
Slapt me suddenly and hard upon the back.

I didn't mind your laughing, if the laughter

Had left no sting of, scorn to rankle after.

Though I 'd joyously have flung myself before you
To adore you,

Still to sit with all one's might upon the ice
Isn't nice.

When I met you in the lordly local ball-room,

Where you queen'd it, the suburban world's desire,
Though your programme for my name had left but small
I somehow snatched five valses from the fire. [room,
And I did stout supper-service for your mother,
While you wove the self-same spells o'er many another,
And I said, no doubt, the sort of things that they did,

In the shaded
Little nook beneath the palms upon the stair,
To my fair.

Bat I noticed, as I learned to know you better,
And you ceased to wile the victim at your feet,

There was very little silk about the fetter,
And 'twere flattery to say your sway was sweet:

Nay, you made the fight and airy shrine of beauty

A centre for the most exacting duty,

And the fealty of the family undoubting
Met with flouting,

As a tribute which was nothing but your due,
As they knew.

Your Papa is getting elderly and bulky,
And he loves you as the apple of his eye,

Yet very little things will make you sulky,
And to meet his little ways you never try.

And I see him look a trifle hurt and puzzled,

And his love for you is often check'd and muzzled ;

Yet I think, upon the whole, that I would rather
Be your father,

Than the lover you could torture at your ease,
If you please.

STRANGE, BUT TRUE.

Sir,—Under the heading of "Ecclesiastical Intelli-
gence" in the Times of Saturday, I read that. "The
Lord Chancellor has preferred the Rev. W. R. Welch,
of Hull, to the Yicarage of Withernwick, East York-
shire." I presume the Lord Chancellor knows both
the gentleman and the place thoroughly, and so wisely
elects which he prefers; but to one who, like myself and
thousands of others, know neither, it strikes me that I
would certainly prefer the place to the parson, however
worthy. It is, indeed, gratifying to see that the Highest
Representative of Law and Order in the realm, after
Her Gracious Majesty, is so utterly uninfluenced by
any mercenary motives, I send this by Private Post,
an old soldier, and am yours enthusiastically,

The Retreat, Hanwell-on-Sea. Noodle de Noodle.

" Better Late than Never."—Two Jurymen, says a
paragraph in last Saturday's Times, wrote to the Solicitor
acting for a female prisoner, one Cutler, who had been
convicted of perjury and sentenced at Chester, to say
that they " gave in to a verdict of Guilty because it was
very late, and one gentleman had an important business
engagement at home." This recalls the line, "And
wretches hang that Jurymen may dine." The remainder
of Ellen Cutler's sentence of five years' penal servitude
is remitted. It is satisfactory to know that these two
had the courage of their opinions before it was too late.

SYMPATHETIC EGOISM OF GENIUS.

{A Study.)

"Don't run away yet, Old Man 1 It's quite early, asd I want to
hear all about your Academy Pictuee, which I'm told is splendid."

[Proceeds to describe his own at great length, and then suddenly finds out how late
it is, and bolts !

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED EROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

House of Commons, Monday, Jan. 26.—Pluneet
undoubtedly the most successful Commissioner of
Works of recent times. A little coolness sprung up
between him and Cavendish Beistinck about those
staircases in Westminster Hall. But chacun a son
idea of a staircase. Pluneet quite as likely to be
right as C. B. Always doing something to improve
arrangements of House. Does it quietly, too ; Mem-
bers know nothing about it till they come down and
find new Smoking-room, fresh arrangements of lights,
new rooms for Ministers, and occasionally a priceless
old table adorning Tea-room. Yarious ac-
counts of its origin. Some say Magna Charta
signed on it. Others fixing earlier date and
attracted by the initials "W. R." clearly
carved on left lee, affirm that it is the very
table on which William Pcex took his five
o'clock tea after Battle of Hastings.

Latest surprise prepared by First Com-
missioner is illumination of entrance to House
from Lobby, cunningly effected by electric
lights set within recesses of arch. Schnad-
horst, revisiting House after long interval,
astonished at this. "Making things very
comfortable in anticipation of our coming
in." he says, smiling sweetly.

Later came upon Nicholas Woods ; found
him standing in attitude of patient and in-
telligent expectation. " What are you wait-
ing there for?" I asked. "Why don't vou
come in and hear Swineurne make one or
" Dear me!" two speeches on Tithes Bill ? "