Punch (100.1891)

72 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHAEIVAPJ. [February 7, 1891.

" Well—er—fact is," said Nicholas, steadfastly keeping his eyes on
archway, " Wilfrid Lawson told me that if I was here about eleven
o'clock I would see Plunket and the Attorney-General come out
under the archway dancing a pas de deux. Couldn't make out when
I arrived what the illumination was for; asked Lawson. ' Oh,' says
he, 'it's the First Commissioner's reminiscence of one of the alcoves
at Vauxhall Gardens.' Then he told me about Plunket and
Webster. Thought I'd like to see it. Do you think it's all right ? "

"Well," I said, "Albert Rollit did tell me something about
Attorney-General going on the Spree. But that was in Germany,
and he had his skates with him. Don't know how it'll be here.
You mustn't forget that Wilfrid's something of a wag. Wouldn't
advise you to wait much after eleven o'clock."

House engaged all night on Tithes Bill. Not particularly lively.
Towards midnight Tanner, preternaturally quiet since House met,
suddenly woke up, and, d propos de bottes, moved to report progress.
Courtney down on him like cartload of bricks ; declined to put
Motion, declaring it abuse of forms of House. This rather depress-
ing. In good old times there would have been an outburst of
indignation in Irish camp; Chairman's ruling challenged, and
squabble agreeably occupied rest of evening. But times changed.
No Irish present to back Tanner, who, with despairing look round,
subsided, and business went forward without further check.

Business done,—Tithes Bill in Committee.

Tuesday.—-Mr. Dick De Lisle came down to House to-night full
of high'resolve. Hadn't yet been a Member of House when it shook

from time to time with the roar of con-
troversy round Bradlaugh, his oath,
his affirmation, and his stylographic
pen. At that time was in Singapore,
helping Sir Frederick Weld to govern
the Straits Settlements. Buthad watched
controversy closely, and had contri-
buted to its settlement by writing a
luminous treatise, entitled, The Par-
liamentary Oath. Now, by chance,
the question cropped up again. Brad-
laugh: had secured first place on to-
night's order for his Motion rescinding
famous Resolution of June, 1880, de-
claring him ineligible to take his seat.
Bbadlaugh ill in bed ; sick unto death,
as it seemed; but Hunter had taken
up task for him, and would move Reso-
lution. Of course the Government

tain tbat the House of Commons exceeded its jurisdiction when it
ordered King Charles the First to be beheaded, but I never heard
that it was proposed, after the Restoration, to expunge the Resolution
from the books."

Irreverent House went off into roars of laughter, amid which Mr.
Dick, more than ever bewildered, sat down, and presently went out to
ask Miss Betsy Trotwood why they laughed.

Business done.—Resolution of June, 1880, declaring Bradlaugh
ineligible to sit, expunged from journals.

Thursday.—As Old Morality finely says,i" The worm persistently
incommoded by inconvenient attentions will finally assume an
aggressive attitude." So it has proved to-night. Sydney Gedge
long been object of contumelious attention. Members jeer at him
when he rises ; talk whilst he orates ; laugh when he is serious, are
serious when he is facetious. But the wounded worm has turned at
last. Sydney has struck. Gedge has been goaded once too often.

It was Courtney brought it about.
Been six hours in Chair in Committee on
Tithes Bill; feeling faint and weary, glad
to refresh himself with sparkling conver-
sation of Grand Young Gardner ; Gedge
on his feet at moment in favourite ora-
torial attitude; pulverising Amendment
moved by Gbay ; thought, as he proceeded,
he heard another voice. Could it be ?
Yes ; it was Chairman of Committees con-
versing with frivolous elderly young man
whilst he (S. G.) was debating the Tithes
Bill! Should he pass over this last indig-
nity ? No; honour of House must be vin-
dicated ; lofty standard of debate must be
maintained; the higher the position of
offender the more urgent his duty to strike
a blow. Was standing at the moment
aligned with Chair; paused in argument;
faced about to the right and marched with
solemn steps to the end of Gangway, the
Bench having been desolated by his speech
so far as it had gone.

" Sir," he said, bending angry brows on
Chairman, " I am afraid my speech inter-
rupted your conversation. Therefore I
have moved further away."

That was all, but it was enough. Her-

i bert Gardner slunk away. Courtney
would oppose it; if necessary, De Lisle jhastil turned oyer of the Bm

would assist them with argument. In ; h iown hig ilt head) and tHed to In revolt,

any case, they should have his vote. look ag if it were Miljian who had been engaged in conversation.
Heard Solicitor-General with keen Now MrxMAN wa8 a8leep.

satisfaction. He showed not only the
undesirability and impossibility of
acceding to proposition, but denounced
it as "absolutely childish." Mr. G.
followed; but Mr. G. said the same
• kind of things eleven years ago, when

Business done.—Level flow of Debate on Tithes Bill interrupted by
revolt of Sydney Gedge.

Friday.—Rather a disappointing evening from Opposition point of
view. In advance, was expected to be brilliant field-night. Irish
Administration to be attacked all along line ; necessity for new

he was Leader of triumphant party, and had been defeated again and departure demonstrated. Shaw-Lefeyre led off with Resolution

demanding establishment of Courts of Arbitration. Large muster of
Members. Mr. G. in his place ; expected to speak ; but presently
went off; others fell away, and all the running made from Ministe-
rial Benches. Shaw-Lefeyre roasted mercilessly. House roared
at Saunderson's description of his going to interview Sultan, and
being shown into stable to make acquaintance of Sultan's horse.
Prince Arthur turned on unhappy man full blast of withering
scorn. Don't know whether Shaw-Lefeyre felt it; some men

again. Of course same fate awaited him now. Government had
spoken through mouth of Solicitor-General, and there was an
end on't.

Not quite. Stafford Northcote, unaccustomed participant in
debate, presented himself. Stood immediately behind Old Mo-
rality, by way of testifying to his unaltered loyalty. At same
time he suggested that, after all, would be as well to humour Brad-
laugh and his friends, and strike out Resolution. Then Old
Morality rose from side of Solicitor-General, and, unmindful of
that eminent Lawyer's irresistible argument and uncompromising
declaration, said, "on the whole," perhaps Northcote was right,
and so mote it be.

The elect of Mid-Leicestershire gasped for air. Did his ears
deceive him, or was this the end of the famous Bradlaugh inci-
dents? Old Morality, in his cheerful way, suggested that, as
they were doing the thing, they had better do it unanimously.
General cheer approved. De Lisle started to his feet. One
voice, at least, should be heard in protest against this shameful sur-
render. Began in half-choked voice : evidently struggling against
some strange temptation ; talked about the Parnell Commission ;
accused House of legalising atheism, and whitewashing treason ;
argued at, length with Mr. G. on doctrine of excess of juris

rather be kicked than not noticed at all; but Liberals felt they had
been drawn into ridiculous position, and mumured bad words.
"What's the use," they ask, "of winning Hartlepool out of doors,
if things are so managed that we are made ridiculous within ? "

Business done. — Shaw-Lefevre's Resolution on Irish Land
Question negatived by 213 Votes against 152.

" Thermidor" up to Date.

{Toned down for English Reception.)

Last Act—On the road to the Guillotine—Hero, instead of Heroine,
about to be executed—Heroine imploring Hero to sign paper.

Heroine. Attach but your signature, and you are free!
diction. "Observed, "as"he went' 0^0!^ wavmgltiThanls'asTf Her0 {after reading document in a tone of horror). What a vow

repelling some object; turned his head on one side as if he would
fain escape apparition ; House looked on wonderingly. At length,
with something like sudued sob, De Lisle gave way, and Members
learned what had troubled him. It was dear old Mr. Dick's com-
plaint. Standing un to present his Memorial against tergiversation
of Old Morality, De Lisle could not help dragging in head of
Charles the First. "As a Royalist," he said, "I should main-

to marry, with the prospect of a breach of promise case to follow!
Never! Death is preferable ! [Exit to be guillotined. Curtain.

An Artist and a Whistler.—M. Coquelin has summoned M.
Lissagaray for having thrown a whistle at him on the night of the
Thermidor row. It is to be hoped that by this time M. Lissagaray
will have been made to pay for his whistle.

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