Punch: Punch (100.1891)

74 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [February 14, 1891.

JUNIUS JUDEX.

A Pindaric Fragment, [A long way after Gray.)

Awake, 0 Themis-twangled lyre, awake,
And give to paeans all thy sounding
strings!

Here is a triumph joyf uller than Spring's.
Jetjne smacks of Summer rather, and must take
The cake!

As frescoed heroes cloud-borne progress make,
So—happy apotheosis!—advances

Stately Sir Fbancis !
See how late-knighted Justice moves along,

High, majestic, smooth and strong,
Through Cupid's maze and Neptune's mighty
main

(0 Wimpole Street, uplift the strain!)
Toward that proudly portal'd door.
Silk govns and snowy wigs raise the ap-
plausive roar!
0 Sovereign of the Social Soul,
Lady _ of bland and comfort - breathing
airs,

Enchanting hostess! Business cares
And Party passion own thy soft control.

In thy saloons the Lord of War

Muffles the wheels of his wild car,
And drops his thirsty lance at thy command.

Smoothed by a snowy hand,

Aquila's self, the fierce and feathered king,
With sleek-pruned plumes, and close-

f arled wing
Will calmly cackle, and put by
The terrors of his beak, the lightnings of
his eye.

Thee the voice, the dance obey ;

Tempered to thy pleasant sway,

Blue and Buff, Orange and Green,
In polychromatic harmony are seen,

As on a bright Jeune day.
And now Jeune triumphs in no minor mea-
sure.

Judicial Pomp and Social Pleasure
Now indeed make marvellous meeting.

See with suasion firmly sweet
That brisk trio, gaily greeting

To that portal guide his feet.

Neptune s hoarse hails his friend's approach
declare,

Probate, the winged sprite, about must play;
With wanton wings that winnow the sott air

In gliding state Lord Cupid leads the way
To where grave Law must mark, assay, reprove
Wanderings of young Desire, and lures of
fickle Love!

TOMMY ATKINS'S HARD LOT.

" Tommy. Atkins," writing modestly
enough to the Daily Chronicle of the 6 th
February, complains that the coal supplied
by the Authorities for barrack-rooms, is so
limited in quantity that " during the winter
this, as a rule, only lasts about two days"
in the week, and Tommy and his comrades
have to " club-up" to supply the deficiency
out of their own microscopical pay. "In
fact" (says T. A.) "I have been in barrack-
rooms where the men have had no fires after
the first two days of the week." If this be
so, Mr. Punch agrees with Tommy in saying,
"Surely this ought not to be!" Tommy
Atkins may reasonably be expected to1' stand
fire " at any season, but not the absence of it
in such wintry weather as we have had
recently!

If this is poor Tommy Atkins's lot,

As Tommy might say, It is all Tommy-rot!

COLUMBIA. ON HER SPARROW.

( With Apologies to William Cartivright.)

[" The Americans have had enough of the
Sparrow (Passer domesticus), and the mildest
epithet reserved for him seems to be that of 'pest.' "
—Daily Chronicle.']

Tell me not of joy,—a hum
Now the British Sparrow "
Sent first was he
Across the sea,
Advisers kind did flatter me,
When he winged way o'er Yankee soil,
My caterpillar swarms he'd spoil;
And oh, how pleasant that would be !

He would catch a grub, and then
It would never feed again.

My fields he'd skip,
And peck, and nip,
And on the caterpillars feed ;
And nought should crawl, or hop, or run
When he his hearty meal had done.
Alas ! it was a sell, indeed !

O'er my fields he makes his flight,
In numbers almost infinite ;
A plague, alas!
That doth surpass
The swarming caterpillar crew.
What I did I much regret;
Passer is multiplying yet;
Check him I can't. What shall I do ?

The British Sparrow won't depart,
His feathered legions break my heart.
Would he away
I would not, nay!
About mere caterpillars fuss.
Patience with grubs and moths were mine,
Would he but pass across the brine.
I call Passer Domestic Cuss !

"Here we Habe again ! "—There are
two Johnnies on the stage. Johnny Senior
being J. L. Toole (now on his way home
from New Zealand), and Johnny Junior, John
Habe, both immensely popular as comedhns,
and both in high favour with our most illus-
trious and judicious Patron of the Drama,
H R.H. the Prince of Wales. It is gratify-
ing to learn that, after the performance of
A Pair of Spectacles at Sandringham, the
Prince presented the Junior of these two
Johnnies with a silver cigar-box. In the
right-hand corner of the lid is engraved a
hare looking through a pair of spectacles, and
inside is a dedication to John Hake from
Albert Edward. "Pretty compliment this,"
as Sir Will Somebs, the Court Jester, mi^ht
have said,—"to Johnny Hake from the Hare
Apparent."