Punch: Punch (100.1891)

78

[February H, 1891.

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ENCOURAGEMENT.

Professional Golfer {in answer to anxious question). " "Weel, no, Sir, at your Time o' Life, te can never hope to become a Plater;

but if ye PKACriSE HARD for THREE YEARS, te MAY be ABLE to tell GOOD PLAY FROM BAD WHEN YE see it!".

THE " PAPER-CHASE."

The Hare (with many financial friends)
loquitur:—

Here goes ! 'Tis a rather new line—
But that is no very great matter.

If they've faith in a lead, 'tis in mine,
So a tentative trail let me scatter.

The old track of country this time I '11 forsake;

I trust they'll not think I have made a
mistake ?

That old line of country they know,
Across it for years they've been rangers,

All right, when the going is slow,

When 'tis fast, are they Hy to its dangers ?

For Hares to raise scares 'midst the Hounds
were improper,

Bat how if the pack come a general cropper ?

Remarkably near it last time,
Though some of 'em didn't suspect it ;

But J spy the peril! 'Twere crime
If I did not help them to detect it.

If they don't like my trail they must give
me the sack ;

I'd rather be bullied than break up the paok.

They fanoy I '11 keep the old course,
There or thereabout. But I've a notion!

They '11 grumble perhaps, with some force,
But they 're not going to flurry G. Goschen.

Of this havresack there have been some smart
carriers—

I '11 make 'em sit up, though, the L. S. D.
Harriers!

I love 'em, each supple-shanked lad,
'Most as much as—Statistics. To trudge it

For them makes my bosom as glad

As—Big Surplus, and Popular Budget ;
And so I should like to secure them a run,
Combining snug safety with plenty of fun.

I don't want to lessen their speed,

I don't want to hamper their daring ;
But rashness won't always succeed —
Just ask that smart runner, young
B-r-ng! [line
And that'8 why I'm tryiDg to strike a new
For our Paper-Chase —cutting the " Paper "
up fine.

I scatter it wide. "Will it float ?

Of course for awhile there's no knowing ;
But I shall be able to note,
By the sequel, ■which way the wind's
blowing. [notes, in full flight.

There! Look like white-birds, or bank-
Now, lads, double up! There's not one yet
in sight!

Of course I'm ahead of my field,
As a Hare worth his salt ever should be.

Mv Hounds, though, are mostly spring-heeled.
Eh? Funk it? I don't think that could be!

The L. S. D. Harriers' lick others hollow

For pluck and for pace. There's the trail,—
will they follow f

" Survival of the Fittest."—You need
not go to Holland to see the Hague. You may
find it-him we mean—at Dowdeswell's
Gallery. Here you can revel in a good fit of
the Hague without shivering. Indeed, Mr.
Anderson Hague, judging from his pictures
of North Cambria, seems to be very fit, and
therefore, he may be called an hague-fit.

A CAN(NES)DID CONFESSION.

(By a Suffering Angelina.)

You write to me, sweetest, with envy

Of "zephyrs" and "summerlike stars ; "
You say women, horses, and men vie

In chorus of croups and catarrhs ;
You picture me safe from the snarling

Of Winter's tyrannical sway.
This isn't, believe me, my darling,

The Mediterranean way.

You rave of the " shimmering light on

An ocean pellucidly fair."
You get it, my darling, at Brighton,

And coals that can warm you are there ;
Of " boughs with hot oranges breaking "—

Cold comfort, while fortunes we pay
For faggots that mock us in making

Their Mediterranean way I

You dream of me rapt by a casement

Mimosa caresses and rose ;
This window was surely the place meant;

For mistral to buffet my nose. _
Of tennis and dances and drums in

" That Eden for Eves "—did you say ?
Apt phrase I Nothing masculine comes in

Our Mediterranean way.

And "Esterel's amethyst ranges

Of gossamer shapes "—and the rest.
Good gracious, how scenery changes!

They too have a cold on their chest.
At "delicate lungs," dear, and so on

No more for this climate I '11 play,
But homeward in ecstasy go on

My Mediterranean way.,