Punch: Punch (100.1891)

90 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, [February 21, 1891,

"WHEN GREEK MEETS GREEK."

"There now, Mr. Moss! There 'a a Pictctre for ter ! Why, he 's regular downright built for yer, that little
'OfiSE is I Suit yer to a T,—and dirt-cheap at a Hundred-and-Twenty Guineas ! "
"Exactly, Mr. Isaacs. Knock off the Hundred, and he's mine!"

THE RIVAL " JARYIES ; "

OR, THE IRISH JAUNTING CAR.

Air :—ilThe Low-backed Car."

" Honest John " sings :—

"When first I knew Ch-rx-9 St-rt,

'Twaa in a happier day,
The Jaunting Car he drove in

Went gaily all the way.
But now the Car seems all askew,

Lop-wheel'd, and slack of sprin? ;
Myself and Will, in fear of a spill,
Feel little disposed to sing,

As we sit on the Jaunting Car,
The drivers at open war,
Seem little to care
For a Grand Old Fare,
As they fight for the Jaunting Car.

Ch-rl-s St-rt at one rein, Sir,

And J-8t-n at the other,
Give prospect small of progress
In pummelling one another.
As Honest John my chance is gone

Of helping ill-used Pat,
If the Union of Hearts in Shindy starts,
And the Message of Peace falls flat.
Will and I on the Jaunting Car,
With the couple of Jarvies at war,
Are sad to our souls,
Wherefore win at the polls
If we lose on the Jaunting Car f

In battle's wild commotion,
With proud and hostile Sm-th,

O'er Land or Tithe, our hearts were blithe,
Till P-rn-ll sapped our pith.

But "Mr. Fox's" lethal darts
Make " Union " all my eye ;
Oar ranks they thin (whilst our enemies grin),
As right and left they fly.

Though we cling to the Jaunting Car,
We were better out of it, by far;
Not the G. 0. M.'s art
Can those Jarvies part
Who fight for the Jaunting Car.

I rather like this Car, Sir,

With Gl-dst-ne by my side;
Bat row galore is an awful bore.

When two would-be whips collide.
With J-st-n seated forninst us,

To victory we might haste, [noise,
But with squabbling bhoys, and a deuce of a
Our efforts are cut to waste. [Car,
Though we 're perched on the Jaunting
Our purpose these madmen mar,
Whilst W-ll-m and I,
With a tear and a sigh,
Hold on to the Jaunting Car.

Pas about Pictures.—Messrs. J. and W.
Vokin8, Great Portland Street, have an in-
teresting loan collection of some of the Old
Giants of the English Water-colour School on
view. There may be found Turner, De
Wint, William Hunt, Holland, Copley
Fielding, Stanfield, Mulready, J. D.
Harding, besides many others. How good
are the Old Giants, and their works are as
bright and fresh as the day they were painted.
Their reputations have not faded, neither
have their pictures, and moreover, they are
not likely to. And so say all of us ! And so
says, Yours paragonically, Old Par.

THE HUNDRED-AND-TEN-TONNER!

What is it, that, with labour skilled.
Though taking fall three years to build,
The place of better weapons filled ?

The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner!

What was it, though, that had to stoop,
When fired, to putting on a hoop,
Spite this, yet found its muzzle " droop" P
The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner!

And what, that matters made more hot,
Sach curious ammunition got,
It cost £400 a shot ?

The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner!

Yet, much to the tax-payer's bliss,
What, firing such a sum as this,
At eighteen hundred yards would miss ?
The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner !

What is it, spite the First Lord's grace,
That guns of better make and case
At half the cost could well replace ?

The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner !

So, what no more upon the deep
Should John Bull floating useless keep,
But quickly from his Navy sweep ?

The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner !

Proposed Tunnel between England and
Ireland.—An Irishman observed this would
bridge over a lot of difficulties ; he begged
pardon, he meant it would Leth-bridge them
over.